Battle of the Bands
by RandomDalmatian326
Summary: A mysterious past. People who want to be together but can't- and only Amu knows why. Why can't she tell? What pieces need to be revealed? Who is the snake that binds Amu? Is there a mastermind behind this? Who really is Amu?
1. Author Commentary

**Before I start this fanfiction, I'd like to say that I've always wanted to write one with songs included. However, when **_**I **_**read songfics, I just ended up skipping the songs altogether if they were paragraphs and paragraphs of italics. It bored me out of my almost ADD brain. I needed **_**story. **_**I needed **_**emotional angst. **_**I needed **_**action: **_**I needed **_**conflict. **_

**So I asked myself, "What the hell are you going to do to fix this?" Excuse my French, sorry. But seriously: I needed a solution to this problem- I had to come up with ideas. So I thought, "Okay, if **_**you **_**were reading this story, what would you want to read? What would you want to see play out?"**

**So then I remembered that a big part of live concerts- the things that would be shown in my story- was the **_**actual performance. **_**So instead of focusing on what the singers were saying, I decided to focus on what the **_**audience was seeing: **_**the movements of the stage, the blackouts, the lasers, the spotlights, the outfits of the band members, the sounds blasting through the arenas, the dancing… And most importantly, the expressions of these singers.**

**Plus, I decided to break apart certain songs that involved one singer and made it involve two- maybe even three. **

**And in some songs, with this breaking apart, I made an entirely different song without changing the lyrics. I created a whole new message, a whole new feeling. I created an interesting idea: I made songs written and sung by one singer- into duets. Genius, if I do say so myself.**

**The songs aren't mine- none of them. But the idea to split them up as I have is.**

**So now, no more big honking paragraphs of italics. I'm not going to make you read it- I'm going to try to make you feel like you are actually at those concerts, or that you are actually listening to my two made up bands- Black Kat and the Pink Attitude.**

**Because hey, that's what I'm supposed to do, right?**

**Get ready for it, **

**RandomDalmatian326**


	2. Chapter 1: Setting the Stage

**Okay, now to start Battle of the Bands! Thanks to people who follow my writings, and thanks for waiting for my story! There's a lot of it, and lots of angst, backstory, and conflict, so let's get started! I own nothing but my plot! And the band names: those are MINE!**

**Amu POV**

I was sitting at the granite counter, drinking a Coke: in the flat my band mates and I shared. Everyone was doing their respective things: Rima, our keyboardist, was ordering takeout like a Queen through her purple fuzzy telephone from the room she and Yaya shared; Yaya, the drummer, was sorting through a big bag of fan-mail- organizing them into separate stacks for each band member; Utau, the second singer and choreographer, was calling our manager about our next gig in the room she and I shared.

The flat was relatively new, and there wasn't much furniture in it yet. It wasn't that we couldn't afford it, it was that we didn't have the time: running to photo shoots and autograph signing sessions, and radio and TV interviews… It was getting exhausting.

We were _The Pink Attitude_, the Number 1 All-Girls Band in Japan. I was the lead singer and guitarist, and I wrote many of the songs with Utau. Our band was the tough kind, not taking shit from anybody. We were dubbed "Cool 'n Spicy" by our fans and all of Japan. We weren't into the girly stuff, and we were fashionable through our slightly dark clothes. Each of us had a personality given to us by the producers: and in public, we had to act them out. Rima was the Ice Queen; Yaya was slightly immature; Utau was the competitive, yet attractive one, yet she was approachable; and I was the out-of-your-reach, beautiful lead singer. This wasn't necessarily who we were, but in the public it was. It was starting to be a problem because it began leaking into our private lives.

I looked around our flat. The only things that we really moved into the space were the fire engine red couch that we toted to every location, the big flatscreen, the beds, a table, some chairs, toiletries, and kitchen utensils and machines.

God, that red couch holds some memories. It was the couch we started sitting on when we became a band: the one where we brainstormed ideas, where we became famous. We toted it around ever since. It was slightly old, but it held so much value to us, even if we said nothing. It was the understood truth. The couch complimented the pastel yellow walls and the wooden floorings. It was sitting in its usual place, behind Yaya, beside the door, and in front of our 48" flat screen mounted on the wall.

I craned my neck around the viewpoint to the kitchen. Down the miniature "hall" there were two bedrooms, side by side, holding our four beds that applied to our very different tastes. I looked to the left of the rooms, past the middle closet, and saw a bit of the bathroom: which was a complete mess, I knew. I didn't even need to see it. There were towels stuffed under the sink to the point of exploding, the toothpaste and toothbrushes littered the sink, along with makeup, face washes, zit cream, moisturizers, hand gels, razors, and various soaps. Don't even get me started on the shower. There were so many shampoos and conditioners; they were practically on the floor.

I looked out of the viewpoint from the bar. The sight I saw was awful. Plates and chopsticks were stacked one on top of the other, and it might have been my imagination, but I thought it swayed a bit. We would have to clean that up sooner or later.

I turned around on my barstool, and saw the table we moved in, with chairs. I saw a coat thrown on one of the chairs, which reminded me: all of our clothes were jammed into closets and shopping bags because they couldn't fit in all three closets. We'll have to clean that up, too.

Maybe later.

I jumped off the barstool with my Coke can and walked straight forward- climbing over the stacks of fan mail that Yaya had managed.

I leaped over the last one, and while Yaya cursed at me for almost toppling over all her hard work, I managed not to spill my Coke. As I reached the couch, I set my Coke down on the floor (since we hadn't moved in the coffee table) and turned on the TV.

The lady, with her curled black hair and flashy makeup in the business suit was the same who always announced for the Music Channel. I had just caught her when she said, "Now for the Interview with the Number One-

And that's when Utau decided to yell something at me, something I could not hear over Yaya's mumblings, and the TV.

I sighed, and muted the TV. "What?" I yelled, annoyed at her for interrupting my lazy session.

I could hear _her _sigh from the bedrooms, "I **SAID**_**, **_are we free on the 23rd?"

I pondered, not really knowing. I would have to grab my cell phone and check, but that was in our room. I got up, sad that I had to, muted the TV- and flung the remote somewhere. "Hold on, I'm coming," I said.

I could hear an annoyed, shouted "WHAT?"

I looked to Yaya, who had heard her shout: she simply rolled her eyes. I walked past her stacks that I almost knocked down before, and headed straight. Before I turned into our room, I say Rima motioning that I should go. She was still on her purple, fuzzy phone.

I walked into Utau's and my bedroom. Utau was sitting on her bead, chatting with someone. Her bead had black, Egyptian cotton sheets, sleek silk black and white pillows with green and purple designs which were made by her favorite designers: "Il and El." They were well known for their somewhat gothic, yet fashionable designs.

I sat on my bed, which had a light pink and blue pastel color palette, and the pillows were a happy, soft yellow and green. I moved my strawberry pillow so I could sit down. My bed design was made by "Miki."

The phone chargers were on the floor, along with the stuff we would have put in our nightstand- if we had one.

I looked through my pink cased BlackBerry. Yeah, we were free on the 23rd. I waited for Utau to pause, I gave her the "okay" signal, and she nodded. She then gesticulated to me that I could go back to what I was doing.

I again sat on the couch, but I couldn't find the remote. _Oh well. _I sighed, got up again, and turned the TV volume up manually.

After that, I sat back down.

"And now, for their performance: their Number One Hit!" The woman excitedly announced.

I smiled, and I waited to hear the song that I wrote with Utau. Instead, the screen turned black.

_What's…_

And that's when I heard a recording of a violin. One I knew so well. _Damn, where is that remote?_

I searched under the cushions, under the couch- and stopped as a voice drew me in.

"_I'm gonna make it bend and break"_ was the voice I knew, silky and masculine, maybe somewhat taunting, of someone I had not seen in two years. The spotlight was on him, and the stage was rising, with dry ice and everything. There was an echo of "_It sent you to me without wait_" from another voice, but everything was focused on him. He was wearing a black suit and tie, and wearing a hat tilted over his eyes. There was even a slight smirk on his face.

Another spotlight.

"_Say a prayer, but let the good times roll," _was the next part, of someone Utau hadn't seen in two years as well. His red hair was the same as it always had been- messy, but from what I remember he dubbed as a "hot mess." He had his ear pierced with a star, which was new. He was wearing a suit, but it was slightly loose at his collar, and the tie wasn't as off as Ikuto's, but was fairly so. He looked directly into the camera, smiled and sang "_In case God doesn't show"_ with a bittersweet voice. There was an echo from the keyboardist _"Let the good times roll." _And then one from the drummer: _"Let the good times roll." _I could barely see the rest of the band except for the two singers. The camera was zooming into the singers, occasionally showing the rest of the band rising onto the stage.

I found the remote.

"_And I want these words to make things right" _The midnight blue-haired boy sang as he slowly rose his head up, and looked right at me, looking right into my soul. I couldn't find the courage to turn the TV off. It was as if he was talking to me. That gave me the shivers.

"_But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life"_ Kukai sang, turning his head to Ikuto, and the entire band was now on stage. It seemed as if Kukai was trying to argue with Ikuto, and there was a hidden message that was written into the song.

"_Who does she think she is?" _Ikuto sang, looking directly into the camera, as if he was talking about a certain someone: complaining about her on stage, and didn't want anyone to know. I erased the thought that it could be about me. It couldn't be. Not after two years. He had plenty of groupies out there to replace me.

Even with that thought, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen, but they watered nonetheless. My finger desperately searched for the "off" button, but it seemed to be avoiding it at the same time.

The green lasers began to dance around them, but Ikuto and Kukai hadn't moved from their places.

"_If that's the worst ya got, better put your fingers back to the keys"_ Kukai sang, as if trying to get Ikuto over something. And that's when he jumped and began playing the guitar.

"_One night and one more time, thanks for the memories" _Ikuto and Kukai sang, as he tossed his hat into the audience. The lasers went faster as they began to get into their song, and my finger finally reached the "off" button.

Click.

The TV turned off instantaneously. I wanted to scream. I looked to Yaya for help, for some sort of assistance, but she had tuned out the noise and was still sorting. She was in the zone: working at fast speeds. I looked around for Rima, but when I had noticed, she had gone to the bathroom: I could tell because the light was on. I could hear Utau muttering something over the phone.

I was glued to my spot, my emotions making tornadoes in my heart. My tears were starting to fall, but I wouldn't let them. _Oh my god. I just saw him. I just saw Ikuto- he was singing… He sounded like he was singing his final "Goodbye" to me. "Thanks for the memories" is such a sad way to say goodbye… But it isn't worse than what I did. Get it together, Amu. It isn't like you were together for a while… But you can't be with him. You can't be with him, or… Oh God, you are supposed to be… Maybe the song wasn't even about you! You don't know, you haven't been in his life for a while… Oh god… But what if…_

"Utau!" I screamed, my voice full of anguish and pain.

There was a silence.

Yaya jolted out of her sorting and said, "Amu-chi, are you okay?"

I looked at her and plainly said, "No."

Just as I answered Utau runs out of the bedroom, down the "hall" and slams into me. "Oh my gosh, Amu? What is it?" She asks, as she looked into my face. Her purple eyes were worried, and I couldn't move.

"_Black Kat_." I answered.

"Yaya's heard of them: Ikuto, the lead singer and violin player; Kukai, the other singer and guitarist; Nagihiko, the keyboardist and choreographer; and Kairi, the gorgeous drum player!" Yaya chipered excitedly.

Utau sent a glare to Yaya and said, "We don't talk about the Number 1 boy band in this flat or ever."

Yaya seemed to get the message. Right as she was about to say something, the sink stopped and Rima stepped out of the bathroom.

Rima stopped as soon as she saw what was happening. "Amu?" She asked.

"Black Kat," Utau said.

"So?" Rima asked, sounding insulting, but she was really curious and didn't mean it.

"It's a painful subject for both of us, so we don't talk about it. Ever." Utau asserted.

"Why- Yaya began, and was stopped.

"We just don't, idiot. Drop it." Rima said, even if she had no idea what was going on. Only Utau and I thought Black Kat was painful.

There was a tense silence.

Rima plopped unto the couch and said, "Okay, so when's our next gig?"

"March 23rd." Utau replied.

Rima nodded at this, and Yaya acknowledged it too. They had tried to change the subject, but failed.

I realized how awkward this must be, so I reeled in my emotions. But, I wasn't ready to tell them yet. And I think they accepted this too, and they were waiting for me to tell them.

So I said, "We've got plenty of time to clean this place up, right?"

Everybody smiled, and Utau let go.

Yaya got up, brushed herself off, and walked towards the kitchen. Rima took the bedroom she and Yaya shared. Utau checked me again, and I nodded, and she took to the bathroom.

I slowly made my way towards the bedroom Utau and I shared, and even though it had been two years, I still was as painfully in an emotional hole as I was then.

Today had definitely not started well.

But I shrugged, and I started cleaning our closet.

_It was all his fault… And by him, I mean…_

**Well, that's it! How was it? Review, please! **


	3. Chapter 2: Feelings and Breakup Songs

**Here's my second chapter! Tee-hee! I hope you guys liked how I didn't have paragraphs of italics (because I HATE those! They bore me) and focused on what they were doing. Alright, the angst-fest has begun! Let's get started! I don't own anything except for my plot and my band names- THOSE ARE MINE, YOU HEAR? Songs are included, but they might not be in every chapter!**

**Ikuto's POV**

I wiped my sweat off with a pink towel after the encore: I just couldn't be without a pink towel.

I know that sounds completely pathetic, but I can't live without her… Everything reminds me of her. I see her every time I get chocolate ice cream, every time I look at an amusement park… I look around to show her things, when she isn't even there… I laugh at things she would laugh at… Oh god. I'm a love-sick, pathetic rockstar.

I can barely open my violin and play anymore.

I took a breath. This was supposed to be my closure for that break-up. No one really knows how destroyed I was when we broke up, because I never showed it. But, it didn't make sense. After two years, it just never made sense. Why? Why did she break-up with me? We were having so much fun; we loved each other so much… I was even going to propose to her. I mulled over the break-up in my head.

"_You know what? You never listen, you pervert! Get out! We're done!"_She was yelling, crying, pleading.

"_Can we… _I began, wanting to hear a reason for this sudden event.

"_No! We can't talk about this! Don't see me, don't talk to me… _Her tears were running down her face. She was as painfully hurt as I was.

"_But…_

"_Please! Just… Leave." _It was like she had to make me go; she had to make me leave. Her voice was full of pain, as if she didn't want to break-up either.

"_Amu…" _I tried to wipe her tears, but she slapped my hand away.

"_No! I'll send you your stuff. Can you please send me mine?"_ She asked, looking as if she was about to fall apart.

"_Sure." _I said. It was her last request, and I always had a soft spot for her. She was my soul mate. No one else could understand me like her, and no one could understand her like me. But it hadn't registered to me that we were over yet. I couldn't believe it. It was impossible, it was unreal. She had just broken up with me, after so many years together…

"_Thank you."_ Her voice was more together now, but it was still painful to hear. I wanted to give her a hug, one that I could always remember her touch. But that's when she guided me to her door, and slammed the door in my face.

I remember trying to contact her, but she changed her number. I went to her apartment, but the key didn't work anymore. She didn't answer the door for me, she didn't even yell to go away. It was like she was never there at all. After I sent her things back, and she mine, she moved.

I never got to see her again. It was like her whole presence disappeared from my life.

I never got to see her in person, only in posters. Her eyes were never as happy as they were; her smile was somewhat fake… And yet I couldn't help myself, so I always listened to her interviews, to hear the sound of her voice. Kukai tried to help me get over her: and I think I fooled him enough to think that I was okay, but I was really destroyed. Nothing made sense.

_We were both musicians. We loved music. We loved each other. So, why? What was it I was missing? Why did she want me out so bad? What had I done? Why do I still wander the streets with my violin, looking for her? _

_Why am I so empty?_

At this thought, Kukai's hand slammed into my back, and said, "Hey man, great job!"

He had a purple towel around his neck, because he couldn't let go of _her _either. And by _her, _I mean my sister, Utau. You'd be surprised how little we talk to each other: she only phones Kukai, and she always asks how I'm doing. She doesn't talk directly at me, because that wouldn't be smart. I'd pester her into telling me why Amu broke up with me, how she was doing, and was she with anybody new?

Kukai tried to do that for me, but whenever he asked why Amu broke up with me, Utau would either hang up, or avoid the question.

I knew she knew something, but she wasn't going to tell us.

"Yeah," I replied.

I then remembered that Kukai's and Utau's break-up came about around the same time as mine. _Are they connected? How? Why?_

"Hey Kukai?" I asked.

He turned to me, a smile on his face. His adrenaline was making him feel good, and he loved to sweat.

"Yeah?"

"How's my sister?" I asked, wondering what they talk about. Maybe Kukai had the blessing of talking to her about their break-up, or their relationship.

His smile was erased. "She's fine." He replied, coldly.

"Do you talk about…" I began, and Kukai stopped me.

"We talk about _you _and _Amu. _That's all we do. I don't get the blessing of talking to her about _us _because she simply avoids it! I'm in a way worse position than you, Ikuto. Every time she talks to me, she rips open the scar and rubs salt in it! Talking to her about someone else's state of mind and someone else's relationship is killing me! I can't ask her _why _we broke up, I can't ask her _why _she talks to me, and I can't ask her to _stop calling me!_" Kukai just about screamed.

"Geez, you didn't say it was that bad..

"Oh, but I'm not finished. You simply sulk about Amu, imagining her voice and her laugh. Don't tell me you don't. I get to hear Utau, I get to talk to her, but I can't have her! She's dangling a piece of candy over my head and she _knows_ I'm never going to catch it! That feeling is _so much worse_ than simply imagining her. God, I want to stop talking to her, but you _use_ me to know about your ex! And at the same time, I _want_ to talk to her. I _want_ to hear her voice. But it's a confusing mix of feelings that I can't even understand myself! I'm suffering too, Ikuto. This song was supposed to give _you and me _some closure. And what do you do? You bluntly ask about the whole reason for my suffering: your sister! Just fucking stab me next time!" His voice escalated until he was screaming bloody murder.

He stomped away, leaving me stunned. I never knew he could get so angry: I never knew he was suffering so much. God, I've been an insensitive prick. I can't believe I forgot about my best friend's feelings when I was sulking about my own.

Nagi and Kairi decide to make an appearance here. They both are sweaty, and wiping their faces with towels and drinking water.

"What was that about?" Nagi asks.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Obviously, it's something. He wouldn't have asked you to 'stab me next time' if it wasn't." Kairi, the smart-aleck assesses.

I didn't answer. I just walked away, trying to make up with my best friend.

"Kukai," I knocked on his door. His door was grey, and it had a star on it that said, "Kukai Souma" in black, Times New Roman lettering.

"I don't really want to talk to you right now" was his reply. He was probably crossing his arms and pouting, like he did when we were in high school.

"Kukai, I'm sorry. I've been an insensitive prick." I apologized, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yeah, you were." His reply came. I chuckled a bit at it. "Did they hear?"

"If by 'they,' you mean the other half of our band and the whole production staff, then yeah."

"You're a sarcastic son-of-a-bitch."

"Not kidding,"

"Shut up." He said, as he opened the door. There was a small smile on his face.

"Forgiven?" I asked.

"Not yet." He smiled, evilly.

"What do you mean, 'not yet'?" I asked, waiting for the worst.

"We have to go to the gig on the 23rd."

"You're not kidding." I said, in pure disgust.

"It's for a good cause! I mean, why else invite the Number 1 Boy Band?" He smiled excitedly.

"Will you forgive me if I do this?" I asked, still doubting it.

"Yup!"

"Fine." I said, as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"Cool!" He smiled, real big, this time.

He shut the door in my face.

_This has got to be some sort of prank. Why did Kukai get all excited and why…_

**Amu's POV**

_And by him I mean…_

Right as I was at thought, I had shuffled through a shopping bag, one of Utau's.

My fingers found a red skateboarding hoodie, one that was a little old, but still the fabric was nice and soft.

"Hey Utau," I called, from where I was sitting on the floor.

"Yeah?" she called back from the bathroom.

"Since when do you own skateboarding hoodies?" I asked.

_Wait. Wha- Wait a minute. This isn't hers. This is Kukai's! Oh my god, she hasn't given him his stuff! It's been two years! What is wrong with her!_

"WHAT?" She screeched as she sprinted into the room.

"This is Kukai's." I deadpanned.

"Yeah, so?" She asked, putting it back in the bag.

"Why do you still have it?" I asked, looking up at her.

"He never gave me back _my _stuff." She looked away, crossing her arms.

"Probably because you never gave him back _his _stuff!" I deduced.

"Amu, I need it!" She looked at me as she lowered her voice.

I paused. "Why?"

"I miss him."

"I _told _you not to break up with him!" I said, my voice rising a bit.

"But I had to!" Her voice rose higher than mine.

"You never told me why!" My voice went louder, drawing attention to us.

"_You _never told me why you broke up with my brother!" She shot back.

"I had to!" I said, loudly, unable to control my volume.

"Why!" She practically shouted back.

"Because you were in danger, that's why!" I screamed, and then covered my mouth.

She paused, her eyes wide. Our entire band was now in our room.

"Utau-chan's in danger?" Yaya asked, still holding a plate.

"Since when is the Popstar Diva in danger?" Rima asked, blunt as always, holding a bottle of shampoo and a sponge.

I shut my eyes. I wasn't supposed to say that! I shut my eyes tighter, and covered my ears. _I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!_

"_You know what'll happen when you tell Utau."_

"_You wouldn't!" I yelled._

"_Tsk, Tsk. Mrs. Amu Hinamori. I warned you,"_

I opened my eyes, remembering what _he _had said.

"Get down!" I yelled, as everyone immediately threw themselves on the floor.

A gunshot whizzed over our heads right after we had gotten down.

"You weren't kidding," Utau said, as she was squatting next to me.

"No," I replied.

"What is going on?" Yaya and Rima asked.

**Ikuto's POV**

I was in my dressing room, drinking some water when I blinked suddenly. A feeling overwhelmed me: a feeling of dread.

_Something's wrong._

Right after I think that, Kukai bursts into my room: he's panting, as if he was looking for me.

_Oh god, did something happen? Is our band okay?_

"Did you feel that?" Kukai asked.

"Yeah." I replied. He didn't even need to explain it to me. I just understood immediately.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Dunno. But call Utau." I said, as he flinched. "Sorry, I want us to cover all our bases."

"S'okay," He replied.

He pulled out his red cell and began dialing.

**Alright, I'm gonna end it there! Okay, so... Question time! Who shot the gun? Who is "he?" Why can't Amu tell Utau something? Why were both breakups around the same time? What does Amu know?**

**Review please! And I know, no songs in this chapter, but they'll be one in the next, I promise! **

**Okay, one more thing: please, oh please, review! I can't know if you liked it or if you didn't, or what you want if you don't!**

**Review also to put in some songs The Pink Attitude can sing (tough-girl songs like "Misery Business" or "Wannabe" or any strong girl bands would be appreciated!) and some Black Kat can sing!**


	4. Chapter 3: Some Answers Revealed

**Okay, Okay! Here's the new chapter! I'm just so excited that people like my new story, and that it isn't cliché as it sounds. When I say dark, I MEAN IT! Like, guns, angst, dark pasts… I'M NOT KIDDING! Anyway, thanks to my reviewers and the people who favorited me… I OWN NOTHING BUT THE BAND NAMES AND MY PLOT!**

**Amu's POV**

Another shot rang out.

I felt a sharp pain on my arm, so I applied pressure on it with my opposite hand.

"Is everybody okay?" I asked, like a leader would. _Well, they're scared, probably, but I'm thinking gunshot wounds._

Rima and Yaya were lying on their stomachs on the floor, and were shaking. They were scared, but they managed to hold up the "okay" signal.

Utau winced as she got up, and the blood kept pouring out of her leg.

_Not again. No, No, NO! She got shot in the same spot as two years ago… That means it's still _his _doing. Amu, you got your best friend shot _again! _How can you be so useless? How does he know about this? Ugh, never mind that. STOP THE BLEEDING, YOU IDIOT!_

I ran, ripped a piece of my sheets, and began wrapping it around Utau's leg, applying pressure. I had never forgotten how to do this, just in case it ever happened again.

Rima and Yaya were both shivering, never being able to stomach that amount of blood. Why could I? Well… Well, that's not important, now.

My hands were working fast in wrapping it around her leg.

"Amu-chi, you're bleeding!" Yaya practically screamed, and I felt the hot blood rushing out on my bicep area. It didn't matter; I could survive that kind of wound. If I got to it a bit later, it wouldn't really matter. It was Utau who could die if this got any worse.

"Hand me the nearest phone," I commanded to my other bandmates.

Rima was the one who stood up, even if she couldn't stop shaking. She handed me Utau's purple and black phone, and as I was about to call for an ambulance, the phone started ringing.

I looked, dumbfounded at the Caller ID, "_Kukai"_

I shook my head. I picked up the phone, and put it on my ear, holding it with my good shoulder.

"Yeah?" I asked, still working Utau's bandages.

"Amu?" rang the other line.

"Utau can't come to the phone right now," I answered, as Utau screamed in pain.

"What's going on?" Kukai worriedly asked.

"Well, it just so happens that Utau and I got shot."

"Where are you?" A voice asked me. _Ikuto. Don't come to this place. You can't. I'll get in trouble. Never mind that, you'll be in danger._

"Let me speak with Kukai, please." I avoided his question. I didn't want him here. I didn't want him to see me like this.

"_Where the fuck are you?" _He just about screamed in my ear.

"Kukai, please." I answered calmly.

"_Amu, I swear to god, I will kick your sorry ass back into next week if you don't tell me where you are." _He was mad, and I could tell because he was hissing into the phone.

"You don't know where I am, so you can't kick my ass." I shot back.

"Not the time, Amu," Rima said bluntly. "Just tell your stupid boyfriend to get his ass over here."

"Not my boyfriend!" I screamed to her.

"Used to be," He laughed into the phone.

"Shut up, shut up!" I screamed into the phone. "GET ME KUKAI, NOW!" I angrily said.

"He's listening." Kukai said. _Damn bastard, had it on speakerphone. Oh well, at least I get to talk to Ikuto. But I shouldn't…_

I sighed, real loud into the phone. "Fine: but I don't want to see your sorry face, Tsukiyomi." _I have to try to keep him away from here. He'll be in danger if he comes, but.._

"You don't have a _choice, _Amu-koi." He taunted. I didn't bother correcting him, because I really liked the sound of that, but I couldn't bear to see…

"Shut up. Fine. 5151 Tokyo Drive. Apartment number 546" I replied.

"Is this your flat?" He asked.

"JUST GET HERE, YOU STUPID IDIOTS!" Utau screamed.

"Where are you?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"Well, we're walking out of…

"Oh, that's right. You had a concert today," I finished.

There was a pause. "How did you know? You keep up with us?"

"No, I watched some of it on TV." I replied, looking around for something to hold the bandages. I told Rima, "get me some tape," and she obeyed. Yaya still couldn't move from her spot.

"Oh." He replied, slightly disappointed. I couldn't let that get to me, though. I couldn't let him in again.

"Is the studio close?" I asked.

"It's about two blocks away." He replied.

"Then I suggest you hurry." I finished, as I closed the phone. Rima got me the tape, and I proceeded to call for an ambulance.

**Ikuto's POV**

Kukai and I were practically running towards the door. We grabbed our coats, and halfway out the door, Nagi calls out,

"Where the hell are you guys going?"

"No time to explain, we'll explain in the car," Kukai answered.

"Then let's go." Kairi said.

We jumped into our fast, European car. I began driving like a madman while Kukai explained what was going on.

"Well, some of our friends got shot," He simply explained.

"You forgot to mention they were our ex-girlfriends." I said, plainly, as I turned the corner and parked into the parking lot.

"So, why are you going?" Kairi asked.

We arrived at our destination. _I can't believe they live that close. I could maybe see her from time to time because… I can't think about that right now. God, I hope they're okay. Please, don't let my sister or Amu be hurt badly. Please, please, please. I need them to be okay. _

"Duh, because they still love them." Nagi pointed out.

Kukai and I slammed the doors and began running to the stairs.

"Hey, you're not going to leave us, are you?" A cocky voice said, emerging from the elevators. We stopped in our tracks.

_Amu. _Her hair, reaching to her shoulders, was still as pink as ever. She had on black short-shorts that were hugging her figure, and her top was covered by a yellow sweater, and her boots were black combat boots and red knee-high socks were peaking out of them.

"You're supposed to stay in one place," I replied.

"The police were busy. They couldn't get to our call." Another voice answered, the one of my sister being carried piggy-back style on my ex's back. She had on one of those pink shirt white stripes on it and skinny jeans. Her blonde hair was in pigtails to keep out of her face.

"So we decided to come down. You don't want to see our apartment right now." The girl who I didn't know, Rima answered. I knew her from her short stature and blonde hair, with a black headband. She was wearing a purple dress, and part of it was green, going over the part of the purple.

"Yeah, and Yaya thinks we should get her to the hospital." Yaya pointed, as she guided our eyes to Utau's leg. She was wearing pink short shorts, a white long-sleeved shirt, and a orange/white striped scarf. Her short, red hair was in pigtails as well.

"Hey," Kukai said, as he whispered something in Amu's ear.

She smiled, a real smile, and said, "Of course."

She released my sister into my best friend's arms.

"Hey," he said, as he looked down on her.

I could see a faint smile on my sister's lips. "Hey."

"You guys should get in the car. We'll squeeze in," Nagi replied._ He was always kind, but he seemed to have an eye for that Rima girl._

"Hm" Rima said, as she walked past him.

"Yaya's sitting next to Kairi!" Yaya called, as Kairi rolled his eyes. Kairi wasn't interested in many women, and there was a rumor he was gay. He wasn't gay, he was just particular about his women.

"Amu, you're sitting up front," I demanded.

She rolled her eyes, and said, "Fine." She slid in the shotgun seat, and shut the door.

We all got in the car, and drove to the hospital, which was about five blocks away.

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"None of your business, Tsukiyomi," She answered coldly, her left hand was on her right shoulder.

"Why can't you call me Ikuto, like before?" I asked, somewhat teasing, somewhat hurt. _I guess breakups do influence how people treat one another…_

"Because I can't: your name disgusts me." She replied, as she looked out the window.

"Ouch," Nagi replied.

She turned, glared at him, and said, "Stay out of this." She then looked at Utau, who was sitting on Kukai's lap. "You okay, girl?"

My sister nodded.

She turned back in her seat. "You shouldn't have come, Ikuto." She mumbled.

I looked at her. We were at a stoplight. We had breezed through traffic because there was none. We were almost at the hospital.

"What.." I began, my voice low so no one else could hear.

"You really shouldn't have come." She repeated, so only I could hear: tears where in her eyes. It was like she was trying to protect me.

"Hey," I replied.

"No. Ikuto, you don't get it. _Stay away from me." _She looked at me, and didn't say it threateningly. She just said it sadly, as if she was the plague.

"I can't." I replied, looking ahead.

"She'll get shot again." She deadpanned, searching in my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked, rather loudly, and everyone turned to me.

She turned away. The light turned green.

We turned into the hospital, and everyone filed out of the car. Everyone except me and Amu, that is.

"I'm really sorry," Amu told me, as she kissed me.

I didn't get it. One time she tells me that my name disgusts her, then she's crying, then she's fucking kissing me. What the hell is going on? What am I not getting? _I _was supposed to be the one teasing her, yanking her chain. But, it seemed as if we switched roles. What was happening?

She opens the door, gets out, and slams it.

As she watches Kukai get into the hospital with Utau, her head drops. No one sees her back but me.

She breathes, picks her head up, and confidently walks forward.

She walks in, and so do I, trailing after her.

As I walk in the door, Nagi's waiting for me. "What's her deal?" He asks, referring to Amu. "She always like that?"

"No." I simply say.

"Then what's up with her? It's like she's trying to push you away or something. She doesn't want to, though,"

I stopped. "What do you mean?"

"In the car, she whispered something to Utau. I don't know what it was, since that Rima girl was shaking so bad. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't stop. She was scared _bad._"

"The whole band's scared," Kairi says. "Yaya was shaking pretty bad too. I think she was crying."

The nurse calls the girls to the counter, and points to a room.

The girls filed into the room, and Amu pokes her head out. "Kukai," she calls.

Kukai blinks and picks his head up.

"Hey," she smiles at him.

"Hey," he replies back.

"You should get in there," she says.

"And me?" I ask, "I'm her brother."

She looks at me and turns cold. "You'll get a turn."

And she disappears behind the door.

"She's cold to you, man," Nagi says.

"I know," I replied. It broke my heart_. She treated everyone one way and me another. Is it that she didn't feel anything for me? Then why the kiss? God, what is going on here?_

Rima, Yaya, and Amu get escorted out of the room. "She's going into surgery." Amu tells me, as she plops down next to me. Her hand makes her way into mine. I enjoy her presence, and her smell. I know I sound like a huge perv, but I missed her scent of strawberries: and the warmth of her weight.

"And Kukai?" I ask.

"I let him go with her, until they reach the OR." She says. I know how much of a sacrifice this took for her. Utau was her best friend. She would have never left her side, but Kukai was more important to Utau, and Amu understood that. That's why she backed off. I remember when they started dating: Amu swore that she beat Kukai up until "he reaches hellfire, and then I'll bring him back and do it again" if he hurt Utau.

She leans against my shoulder, in the blind spot of my band mates. They are all tending to the girls. Why they care so much about them when they just met them is beyond me. Maybe my sensitive bandmates understand that these girls went through something scary and are trying to comfort them.

"I don't get you," I say.

She smiles, and closes her eyes. "That's the point."

"Why were you so scared?" I ask.

She opens her eyes and looks at me. "How did you know?"

I smile. This is one of the times that I read her mind, and she's probably angry that I know her so well. "Your lips were quivering."

"You son-of-a-bitch," She replies, as she giggles a bit.

"You love me," I said. It was more of a sarcastic comeback, but I never expected her to reply like she did.

She closes her eyes again in response, and mumbles, "Yeah, I do." She squeezes my hand, as if she's enjoying this as much as I. _What the hell did she just say? She still loves me? Dear lord, this girl is so fucking confusing! I don't get her at all! Before, she was always an open-book, and now she's pushing me away but keeping me close! What is her deal?_

That surprises me. "If you do, then why…?"

"I can't tell you that." She replies, knowing the end of my question. _If you love me, why did you break up with me? Why couldn't you stay with me? Why couldn't you talk to me? Was it that you didn't trust me? No… She trusted me with everything. Then what? What is it?_

"Why not?" I ask.

She takes her head off my shoulder and says, "This isn't the first time she's gotten shot, Ikuto."

I blink. "What?"

"She's been shot before. And if I tell you, he won't miss." She shivers at this, and I squeeze her hand. She smiles a small smile, and gets a bit closer to me, as if liking my warmth, as if liking that I was there.

"What the hell do you mean?" I hiss. I wanted to know more about this. I wanted to know more about why all this happened, and why we couldn't be happy together. It was supposed to be _simple. _But life never is.

"Ikuto, you _have _to stay away from me!" she whispers urgently. She's trying to tell me something, I know it, but I can't piece the clues together. I understand too little, and there are too many questions.

"Don't wanna." I reply, stubbornly as always. I _don't _want to leave her alone to face this. I want to be with her and protect her, I want to be there and hold her, and I want to be with her _forever._

"Please," she begs.

"Let me help you!" I hiss.

There are tears in her eyes. "You don't know how much that means to me. You're still as sweet as you were back then. I miss you."

"Then come back to me!" I whisper.

"I _can't." _She replies, trying to give me another clue: trying to help me piece it together. It simply fails.

"Why?" I ask. I needed to know why. My eyes searched hers, looking for answers.

"I just… can't." She replies, taking her hand out of mine.

"Tell me something! A hint, a name… Something." I grab her hand again, trying to preserve what we have. I love her too much not to know why she can't be with me. And if she feels the same…

"He frequents the Café." She replies, not meeting my eyes. It was as if she was watching for someone.

"Which one?" I ask. There was a bunch around Tokyo.

"The one across the street from my flat." She replies, looking at me. She looks so sad, so burdened. I wished I could help her relieve some of that burden.

"Who..?" I ask.

"I can't tell you that." She gets up, as Kukai comes back.

He's crying. Something about how my sister's in critical condition: that the wound was bad and she might not walk again. She might not even survive the intrusive surgery.

She wraps him into a hug, and whispers something to him. It makes him smile.

And she walks away.

I want to run after her, but I need to comfort my best friend. It wasn't as if Amu needed me immediately or anything. She could wait as I processed the information.

And then I thought of something: she never removed her left hand off her right shoulder.

I dismissed the thought. Maybe she was just uncomfortable talking to me. Talking _with _me.

Yeah, that's it.

**Amu's POV**

I can't believe it. Even after two years, _his _threats were still valid. What had I done? What had I… I let my hand off my shoulder, and the blood rushes down.

I deserve this.

I deserve this for doing that to Utau, _again. _Heck, _I_ deserve to be shot in the leg.

I had to find a way out of this black future, where I was a puppet on a stage, and where _they _controlled every aspect of my life. This was beginning to leak into my friend's lives. That isn't acceptable- it's my burden and mine only.

How can I get out? How can I get free from these chains? How can I live free of this bird cage, where all I'm supposed to do is sing?

I'm in front of the vending machine. _"I'll get you your favorite snacks" _I promised to Kukai.

I pushed the button for the snacks he liked, and right as I bent down to get them, I hear a voice.

"I told you," a guy's voice says.

I whirl up, and I see a figure in a black hoodie, with the hood covering his face. I can see his smirk, though.

"What do you want?" I ask, angrily. "This is a sacred place! Don't you dare do anything _here_!"

"I told you, dear Amu. I told you what would happen if Utau knew. You thought that because it had been two years, you could say what you wished. But I'm always watching you," He said, as he slowly brought a knife out of his pocket.

"I didn't mean to, it was a slip of the tongue!" I pleaded.

He suddenly held my neck in a choke hold, and rammed me against the wall. The knife was near my neck. "It doesn't matter what you didn't mean to say. It matters that you _said _it. And guess what, Amu dear? It means that I have to _fix _this mess!" I tried kicking him, but it never did any real damage.

I gasped for air, and his fingers loosened a bit. "I don't need you to fix anything!" I hissed.

His fingers went tighter around my neck, and the knife came closer. "Of course I need to fix it. You don't want them knowing about your past, right? And Ikuto… Oh, he'll meet something much worse than this!"

"Don't… do… anything… to… him…" I managed.

"Oh, but I _have to. _Your father is still who he is, and I am still who I am. _Your boyfriend."_

"Never… were…my… boyfriend…" I choked.

"Maybe not by your choice!" He hissed. "But according to your dad, I still am! I don't like you cheating on me, dear Amu. I can't let you do as you please, now can I? Your little rockstar life isn't the freedom you think it is! It is more bondage than you think! I am always the puppet master of this game!" He said, crazily, drunk on his status.

He let go of my neck, and I gasped for air. In a surprise attack, I pulled the knife from him, and threw it on the ground. I then punched him, right in the stomach. "You son of a bitch! You motherfucker! You don't touch me, you don't touch my boyfriend, and you don't touch my friends! If you hurt them, I'll kill you!" At each of these phrases I was punching him again and again. My voice was getting louder and louder, until I was screaming. He was in the vetal position on the floor, hugging his stomach: I was just completely and utterly mad. I couldn't stop.

I kicked him in the groin, and punched him one last time, "You tell my father to stay the fuck out of my life!" I yelled, at the peak of insanity. I was sure he wasn't going to get up any time soon.

I turned, got the snack from the vending machine, and began walking away. The blood was still flowing from my arm, but it wasn't bugging me anymore.

And then there was a sharp pain in the middle of my back. My back tightened, arching at the pain.

I felt blood running down my back as I fell.

"It's not that easy to get rid of me, Amu Hinamori!" He said, as I heard his footsteps get farther and farther away.

I couldn't think.

I could barely breathe, it hurt so badly. I hadn't felt this kind of pain since…

I used the last of my energy to scream, and I fell into the darkness.

But not before I heard a line of my soon-to-be-released song coming from his voice:_ "I'm in the business of misery; let's take it from the top. She's got a body like an hourglass that's tickin' like a clock! It's a matter of time before we all run out." _

I blacked out.

**Alright, there we go! Okay, question time! Who is **_**he, **_**what did he tell Amu two years ago? Why is he her "boyfriend" and what does Amu's father have to do with all this? Will Ikuto get closer to the truth? Will Utau make it out of surgery? What will happen to Amu? What is her past?**

**And how does **_**he **_**know about a song that isn't released yet?**

**Please review! Thanks to all who have, and all that have Favorited!**


	5. Chapter 4: Some Unexpected Connections

**Sorry I haven't updated, I've had lots of migraine troubles. Well, this chapter won't have any songs, but the next will! My plot is mine, the band names are mine, but that's it. Thanks to the people who read my rambles and my stories. On with it!**

**Chapter 4**

**Ikuto's POV**

I tried telling Kukai that my sister would be okay, that she _would _survive the surgery and walk again. He didn't seem to be listening, but I think my words brought him comfort. Utau was my sister, and no matter what, I needed her to be okay. She was my only line with Amu, and she was also the love of my best friend's life. I needed her to live.

Kukai just cried. I hadn't seen him cry in the longest time I've known him, not even when Utau broke up with him. He just stood, sobbing into his hands.

Then, I heard shouts.

"You son of a bitch! You motherfucker! You don't touch me, you don't touch my boyfriend, and you don't touch my friends! If you hurt them, I'll kill you! You tell my father to stay the _fuck_ out of my life!"

I recognized Amu's voice immediately. My protective instincts crushed my stomach in what felt like a bad omen. What was happening over there? My hands curled into fists. Her best friend was already in major surgery, what more could Amu suffer? No one was going to hurt her, not while I was around.

And with that thought, I left Kukai sobbing in his chair, and I ran past my bandmates.

I rushed down the hall, and in a slow-motion movie like style, I saw her fall down. Every sound that I heard before was tuned out. All the nurses rushing by, all the machines beeping, everything was silent as her body fell forward. I was anchored to the spot. I couldn't do anything. I could feel the life rushing out of me, and I felt as if I was going to be sick. Who had threatened her? _Who had done this to her?_

With that thought, my head snapped up from her body to the automatic doors sliding to a close.

"Kukai! Nagi! Kairi!" I shouted, my voice coming back to me. "Get over here!"

I checked her pulse on her neck, and there was a slight beat. She wasn't dead, just out. With that discovery, I was instantly relieved. She was lying in a pool of her own blood, most of it running from her arm, and some from her back. It was a pretty nasty sight, and if it wasn't for the intense anger that I was feeling, I would have probably thrown up.

Nagi was the first to arrive. He saw Amu, and looked to me. I nodded, and in a silent exchange, I told him she was okay.

My hands curled into fists, the white showing. I was extremely angry, and I wanted to rip apart all of Tokyo to find out who had done this.

"Stay with her," I growled, as I ran after the criminal.

Kairi arrived next, "Where are you…?" but the rest of his sentence was lost to me as I ran out the automatic doors.

I was running so fast that everything was blurring around me. All I saw of the criminal was the tail of a grey hoodie as he walked out. I was scanning for it, and I was not having any luck. My adrenaline was pumping, and my reason was overshadowed by my anger.

Who would dare hurt her? How had he done so? Where was he? _Who _was he? Whoever he was, whoever threatened her safety, was going to die.

"_Ikuto!" _my conscience shouted. _"Stop!"_

I stopped in my tracks, my mind running races with my reason. I had to kill this person. I had to threaten them, make sure they never saw the light of day again, not to mention never hurt Amu again. Amu looked almost dead. That person almost killed her! I would bloody my hands with murder if it meant for her to be safe.

"_Don't do this! Killing someone is a crime! It would endanger you and your band. It's not rational. He's already gone. Go on a wild goose chase, or stay with her." _

I growled. My conscience was right. He _was _getting away, and I had no idea what he looked like!

"_Leave it. Go back to a situation you can actually salvage."_

I was at a fork, and even though my anger was going down, I wanted to go after the guy and kill him for hurting my soul mate. But at the same time, I knew Amu needed me.

I looked forward again, watching the crowd mold past me in a series of faces and heights, and I realized that Amu needed me more than my thirst for revenge. With a glare in the general direction the criminal had gone, I turned on my heel and raced back.

When I entered, the two other girls were there, crying. The nurses were taking Amu's vitals and lifting her unto a stretcher so they could take her to a room. Kairi, the usually calm one, was covering Yaya's eyes, and his mouth was moving, as if in prayer. Tears were running down his face, even if his eyes were closed.

Nagi was holding Rima's hand as she silently cried. He didn't look at her: instead, his eyes were on the wall and he seemed to be saying something to the nurses.

Kukai just watched, unmoving. I don't think he could take anymore grief today. Even if Amu wasn't his girlfriend, she was still his friend for as long as he could remember. Amu was also Utau's best friend, so that didn't make his pains any less. He seemed to be so full of sorrow that he just couldn't take it.

I hoped Amu would survive this: or else I wouldn't know _what _to do with myself.

"I couldn't catch him," I deadpanned, bringing everyone's attention to me.

"Well, why the hell not? Did he run faster than you, and you couldn't spot a criminal with those senses of yours Tsukiyomi? Huh?" Rima was the only one to speak, and she glared at my eyes, expecting death for the person who hurt her friend.

I wet my lips, unable to say anything. _I had failed. I failed myself, Amu, and the rest of us._

Nagi took this time to look at her, study her face, and squeeze her hand. "He tried to find him. If anything, he would have wanted the criminal dead at his hands."

Rima softened, and started to silently cry again.

"So," Kairi said, breaking the silence as the nurses left. "Are we all staying the night at the hospital?"

"I can't leave" Kukai and I responded in unison.

"We can't either," the girls said.

"Then I guess you and me are staying too, Kairi." Nagi responded.

Kairi nodded. He pushed up his glasses and continued, "Well, we should take shifts so all of us can sleep and shower. And, any progress is to be reported." He fished his BlackBerry with a sword sticker on the back out of his pocket. "Numbers, please."

Rima flipped open her purple fuzzy cell phone with an air of coldness, reciting numbers fast and queen-like.

I flipped out my midnight blue one, Kukai flipped out his red and green one, Nagi flipped out his black and yellow one, and Yaya took out her pink and white one. We exchanged numbers.

After all was said and done, I said, "I can't speak for Kukai, but I'm not leaving for any shifts. You have to decide that on your own."

Kukai nodded in agreement.

Kairi, again, pushed his glasses up. "So, if there are only two guests allowed per room, and one in each is Kukai and Ikuto, then…"

Rima didn't wait for him to finish: she got hold of Nagi's arm and said in a cold, queen-like fashion, "We need to get some things from our flat, and we will also gather things from the boys' apartment. I can't carry everything by myself, so I'm taking Nagi."

She began to walk off, and like an afterthought said, "Text Nagi any specific items you want and I will add whatever I feel is necessary."

Nagi began to protest, but Rima simply dragged him on. His protests seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Kairi and Yaya were already at work, texting the necessary items that were needed for a hospital stay. They seemed to be the most stable of us all, and even they were visibly shaken.

All the worry and anger seemed to take their toll on me. The vacuum of emotions left me nearly empty, and exhaustion slammed into me. After the concert, emotional heart-attacks, and running, I was wiped out. Everything that I could have given was gone. My brain was running on empty. All I felt like doing was falling into bed, but I knew _that particular _thing would have to wait.

Kukai was walking with me, instinctively knowing where the rooms were. In the confusion, either Nagi or Kairi had asked for the rooms to be next to each other. Kukai was practically dragging his feet, and the doom-and-gloom vibe wasn't working for him. He was usually pretty sunny, but given the circumstances, he seemed to be emotionally exhausted.

I would try to lighten the mood, even if it wasn't my thing. "Are you okay?" I asked. I nearly smacked myself on the face. _Way to be subtle and change the mood, Ikuto._ Like I said, this wasn't my department.

Kukai seemed to drag his head up, and give me a weak smile. "Not really. You?"

I shrugged. "Same."

"Feelings?" I asked. Again, I was the superstar of changing the mood. But hey, if we were going to talk about it, we were going to do it now.

There was a silence. "Well, it feels like my fresh scars are being ripped open and being rubbed with salt. Along with so much worry and other feelings… All I want to do is know she's okay, and I _really _want to fall asleep holding her hand."

He didn't need to tell me anything else. It was the same: we felt the exact same way.

I took a stab at trying to make him feel better, "She'll be out of surgery soon."

"Mmh." He looked at me. "Amu's going to be okay. She's a fighter."

"Don't I know it."

He laughed. Instead of his usual laugh, though, it was labored and not quite so cheerful.

He disappeared into Utau's room, and I swept into Amu's.

As I entered Amu's room, I noticed the person in question. She was lying on her stomach, and bandages covered her back and her arm. The I.V. and the thing that monitors your breathing were plugged into her. Her face was deathly white, her eyes were closed, and her breathing labored. It made me sick to see her this way. She looked as if she was practically at Death's door.

I moved one of the chairs next to her bedside. I didn't take in any other details from the room. All I cared about was Amu. After all these years, no one could make me feel like she did.

In a hushed murmur, I began to sing to her and caress her hand. It was a melody that long ago had relaxed her, and I knew it by heart. I can still see her back then, holding me with a soft smile on her lips and her eyes peacefully closed. The melody was basically her lullaby, and even if it had no words, it didn't matter. She always said it was the feeling of someone special singing a relaxing melody that made her relax and not be so nervous.

When I sang the last note, she opened her amber orbs at me, and in a weak voice that broke my heart, said, "I love you."

The words shook me: they made me want to cuddle up next to her and purr at her very touch. It made me want to be with her again, and listen to her soft murmurs, her laughter, her very presence that I oh-so missed. I wanted to hear her voice again, and no matter how many times she said those three words, it would never be enough. I wanted to be with her so much that I could feel a tear, so small and salty, pass over my cheek.

She closed her eyes after she said that, and the machines continued dripping and monitoring her breathing.

No matter how much I loved her, no matter how much she loved me, the question was… Why? Why did she break up with me if she loved me? Why would she do that to herself and me? What happened?

Again, the gears in my head cranked and moaned, trying to solve a puzzle that I only had a couple pieces to.

_Something _was going on behind closed doors. Something that only Amu and Utau knew. They were the keys to this mystery, and their lips were sealed tight.

"Nade…" She murmured. "Nade."

"Nade?" I repeated. Who was she? My hand kept caressing hers, in hope for an answer. Maybe if I did this long enough, she would reveal the secrets I so longed to hear. My ears sharpened and were going to hang on to every word she said. If she said something else, I was certainly going to hear every single syllable.

"Nadeshiko." She murmured, as if it was the answer to my question. The name rung a bell, but something was oddly dark about it.

I took my midnight-blue cased Iphone out of my pocket. I had a weird feeling that only Nagi would know about the name. Maybe I had heard it from him long ago.

"Does the name Nadeshiko ring a bell to you?" I texted him, the letters clicking under my thumbs as they worked with speed.

My phone buzzed almost immediately. "Yeah, she's my dead twin sister… Why?"

Dead? The girl Amu was calling for was dead? What did it mean? I knew she was trying to tell me _something, _but it didn't seem to click.

"Did Amu know her?" I texted, after a moment's hesitation.

One minute passed.

Then two.

My phone buzzed.

"Not that I know of." The cryptic words meant that he didn't know what this meant either. Something was wrong here. _Something happened_, my gut told me. Nadeshiko has something to do with this. What, I don't know.

"Rima…" Amu's weak voice filled the silence. Was she trying to give me another clue?

"Box… under the bed." She stated.

I wanted to scream at her and shake her. Why couldn't she tell me the answer to my simple question? What was so important that was under the bed? What was all this mystery bullcrap?

My questions remained unanswered as she said nothing more.

I texted Nagi, "Amu says to get her the box under the bed."

My phone buzzed instantaneously. "What does that mean?"

My fingers clicked at the letters in a rhythm that was so fast, I couldn't write a song to it. "Don't know: but that was directed at Rima. She should know."

"Videos..." Amu murmured again.

Ah, what the heck. I sent another message for good measure: "The one with the videos."

There was no response. Did Rima know what we were talking about? Did this even make sense?

Then, Nagi texted me back, "She seems to understand. Be back in 20."

Hopefully we could get some answers.

**Nagi's POV**

"So, what's in the box?" I wondered, as we're walking down the hall to their flat.

"Something I'm not supposed to touch without permission." The small girl stated. She offered no more. Something told me she wasn't a chatty Cathy.

Slowly, the girl unlocked the door, and I saw a royal mess. There were stacks of papers on the floor near the couch; the kitchen had many things on the counter… What is wrong with these girls? Didn't they know how to clean a place?

"Sorry for the mess. We were spring cleaning." She stated. She didn't even invite me in, she just strode past, and I had to pick up the pace if I wanted to catch up. Not that that statement cleared up anything.

And just as I made my way towards the stacks, her voice flowed into my ears. "Oh, and don't mess with those stacks. Those are fan mail."

They got that much fan mail? Jesus Christ, The Number One Girl Band didn't fuck around. They had some legit fans.

She drifted into one of the rooms, and I maneuvered past the mail and jogged until I was in the same room as she. Why would she even bring me here? Was it just so that she could use me, or what? I didn't get it. Maybe she _was _like the public said: "a cold and queen-like beauty."

Under the bed of soft pastels, there was a beaten cardboard box with a top on it. In it, I could see a couple of DVDs.

She gathered the box that was practically bigger than her and dumped it in my arms. I had to scramble to make sure it wouldn't drop.

She didn't even check to see if I or the box was okay. She just drifted past me, and began looking through clothes. She threw two bags on top of the box: one pink, and one purple.

Then, she happened upon a blue shopping bag. She put her hand in it, and shuffled through the contents. Then, as before, she dumped it in my hands.

"Those are Kukai's old things. He might want them back… Even if they are two years old." She offered, as some sort of explanation for the last bag.

"How..?" I began, but she interrupted. I had to calm myself into thinking that I could not smack a lady's face.

"Amu and Utau were talking about it before they got shot." She stated.

I didn't miss a detail. Before she left the room, I managed to ask, "_They_?"

She turned to face me, and looked at me if I was the most idiotic person on the face of the planet. She certainly had no manners, and they way she was talking to me was pretty rude. "Dimwit. Amu got shot in the arm."

I blinked. When? How? Amu hadn't spoken a word about it, and the other bandmates had kept silent. "And you conveniently forgot to tell Ikuto?"

She turned away, as if blowing me off. She breezed in the other room, and began putting things in shopping bags. When she finished, right around when she was going to dump them on me, I said, "Nuh-uh. You're taking those yourself, lazy."

She glared at me, and ushered them towards me.

I shook my head.

She put them closer, and I shoved them away. I broke into a smile. It was like a game.

She, again, tried to dump them in my already full hands, and I yanked the stuff away, which earned a scowl from her. I held the things above her head, taunting her. She tried giving them to me, but couldn't reach my height. She tried pouting, but I shook my head. I wasn't going to let her win this game.

"Hmph." She relinquished her claim, as she walked past me.

And as I followed with a smirk on my face, enjoying my victory, she plopped on the floor. She then motioned me to do the same. After a careful putdown, she carefully removed the shopping bags from atop the "box" and began shuffling through that.

Before I could say anything, she turned on the TV, and picked out a DVD, which she then decided to put in the player. I didn't get why she was showing me this, or why we weren't going to my apartment, or why she did this now.

The screen crackled to life, and a voice said, "Alright! Here they go!"

My back stiffened. It couldn't be possible. It wasn't. No. No! It couldn't be _her _voice. Anyone else's, I would have accepted. But not _hers._

The girl wasn't watching me, thankfully. Her eyes were on the screen.

The video showed Amu and Utau in short-shorts and tank tops, both blindfolded and with sticks, in front of watermelons. I knew instantly what it was: it was a competition.

"Go!" The voice on the other side of the camera commanded. I shivered again. It felt so real, it felt as if she really wasn't…

The two girls went blindly looking for the watermelons, and Amu found it first. With a loud "Hi-ya!" she smashed it open, and Utau groaned.

"Aw man," the voice on the other side of the camera said. "I was betting on Utau to win!"

Utau smashed open her watermelon only seconds after ripping off her blindfold. She then shouted, "Cheater!"

The video camera was hurriedly put on some sort of deck, and a familiar mane of purple hair with a newsboy hat rushed to stop the girls from fighting. She was wearing a skirt and another tank top.

"Cross dresser," Rima's voice wafted into my ears as the girl unsuccessfully tried to peel Utau off Amu.

"That's not me," I stated.

Rima's eyes were suddenly on me, intrigued. But my eyes wouldn't move. My body wouldn't move.

In the background, I heard the girls on screen laughing.

"That's my sister. But how?" I asked, to no one in particular. "She was _supposed_ to be dancing in France."

**All righty, all done! How was it? Okay, let's review this chappy-wappy. …Forget I ever said that. Anyway, here's a summary~**

**Utau hasn't got out of surgery yet**

**Who was it that stabbed Amu?**

**What does Nadeshiko have to do with it?**

**Why does Amu have these videos?**

**How come Nagihiko doesn't know about them?**

**The mystery deepens… Dun dun duuuuunnnnn.**


	6. Chapter 5: Videos and Old Songs

**Okay, So thanks to everyone who favorited, and reviewed my last chapters! Some questions will be answered in this chapter, and some will arise… As always. I own nothing but my plot and my names for the bands. Let's get to work!**

**Chapter 5**

**Nagi POV**

I sat there, completely motionless as I digested the fact that my sister was in those videos. She had died last year, so they had to be filmed fairly recently.

What was going on here?

How come she was in those videos, and she apparently filmed them? She was supposed to be getting a degree in dancing. My older sister was a rule-follower: she didn't have anything but dancing.

Or did she? Did I really know my sister, her hopes, and her dreams? Was I so untrustworthy that she couldn't tell me anything? While I was here, in Japan, getting degrees in choreography, she was supposed to be studying in France. But obviously, she hadn't been. She hadn't been visiting my family, and apparently no one knew that she was still here in Japan.

The reason she died was because she got hit by a car on her way to visit us. Was that even true? Had they given me a cover story? Did my family really know what happened?

Why did my sister not tell me? I could keep a secret. If she wanted to stay in Japan, fine, but she could have told me!

The anger was swelling up inside me and I had no one to take it out on. My sister was dead. I couldn't ask her anything. I couldn't tell her anything, but seeing her in those videos made me feel as if some of her presence was still here with us.

Wait.

My brain backtracked a second, and I thought about it. There were two major questions that I wanted to ask: why had my sister been in Japan, and how come Amu and Utau knew her?

They seemed like friends, but Nadeshiko never mentioned them. She told me everything in her life through texts, so was that a lie too?

Why was she filming these videos? Why hadn't she told me? What did Amu and Utau have to do with these videos? Why did they have them?

…Who was my sister?

"Nagi," A voice brought me back to reality. "It looks like you've just seen a ghost."

I blinked. Did she know anything? Did the rest of the band know my sister? What was she doing here in Tokyo? Why was she filming? Why Amu and Utau?

"Yeah, It feels like it." I said, rubbing my arm, trying to get the goose bumps to go away. "Did you know her?"

I paused the video, and pointed to my sister.

"She's your sister?" Rima paled.

_So she _does _know something. _

"Rima, where…" I began my question. _Where do you know her from?_

"We have to go. Now." Rima interrupted as she looked around, grabbing the things before I could ask.

_I'm not leaving without answers! _"I'm not…" I began.

"Let's go, Nagi. It isn't safe here. Not anymore." She cryptically said, as she took my arm. "We need to go get the boys' stuff from your apartment."

She took out the video with a swipe of her hand, put it in its case, and put it in the box, which she then gave to me, like a ticking bomb. She also swept a laptop into a bag.

She pushed me out the door, and locked it with a swift _click _and began swiftly maneuvering towards the stairs.

"Rima, is something wrong?" I asked.

"Many, many things." She answered, bluntly but cryptically.

As we descended the stairs, I began thinking.

_These girls know more than they let on. I swear, I'm not letting this go until I get some answers. Maybe not today, but when we get back to the hospital, I'm going to start watching these videos. They have to have _something _useful that can answer my questions. _

Amu and Utau are keys to this mystery. What do they know?

**Ikuto POV**

I kept caressing Amu's hand, wanting her to wake up from her sleep. She had gone into a coma as soon as the doctor deemed she was stable. When I asked why she had gone into a coma, the doctor took a look at her, sighed, and deemed that she went into a coma as a psychological choice. It was like she was running from something. She was okay, but basically she was the one who decided when (I can't bring myself to say "whether or not") she wanted to wake up.

My sister was still in surgery. It hadn't even been an hour yet. Kairi and Yaya took shifts in between consoling me or Kukai and waiting for Utau's return. Both of them were drinking caffeine like it was water during a concert, and they were starting to look pretty haggard.

I was at my wit's end.

I wanted to pull out all my midnight-blue hair, and I wanted to scream, to punch something.

My questions were piling up. I couldn't get them answered because Amu was running from me. And, my sister was still in surgery.

No one else knew anything.

Every now and then, Yaya or Kairi would pop into my room and see how I was doing. They didn't stay long, because Kukai was in a more fragile state than I, and they were waiting for Utau's return. The OR was pretty far away, so they had to text each other when they were going to switch. They gladly brought me whatever I craved, and both were happy to see I was still throwing water down my throat and forcing my stomach to eat. I now knew how anorexics felt.

Where were Nagihiko and that midget? They went to get the stuff, and it couldn't take _that _long. It had already been 20 minutes, and they weren't back yet.

Suddenly, I heard sobs from Kukai's direction. _Great. He's crying again. How many times did I tell him that my sister would be okay?_

I heard hushed murmurs and suddenly, the door opened.

It was Nagi!

"What's in the box?" I whispered.

"Videos. I think we should watch them." Nagi answered.

"Why?" I asked. "They're her…

"Ikuto, my _sister _is in them." He told me, looking me in the face. "They're dated at the end of 2010."

I almost choked on my GoldFish. That was the year Amu broke up with me. But she had broken up with me in middle October. Utau broke up with Kukai about a week later.

"When do the dates start?" I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"The end of October. Why?" Nagi asked.

I coughed. There had to be a connection. There had to be!

"Nagi," I began. "I think we're going to get our questions answered. Put in the first video."

Nagi obliged, turned on the TV and put in the first video.

The screen crackled to life, and I was watching the past.

It was Amu and Utau in a recording studio.

I called Kukai in, because he might want to see this. Yaya and Kairi and Rima also came into the room where they could see the television.

You could hear the sound of what I assumed to be Nadeshiko's voice. It seemed as if she was speaking in the microphone at the recording studio.

"Alright, I'm going to play the music."

Amu and Utau nodded, both in comfortable, casual clothes.

A track played, and both put on earphones- bobbing their heads and keeping one ear empty so they could make sure they were in sync.

Then, Amu's voice began, "_When I was just a little girl my mama used to tuck me into bed, and she'd read me a story." _Her eyes were closed, focused on what she was singing. She was singing with a little attitude, strong, and defiant, and she was moving her body to the lyrics, in front of the mic.

"_It always was about a princess in distress and how a guy would save her and end up with the glory." _Utau's slightly higher, more attitude-like voice chimed in. She was using her hands, as if she was talking to an imaginary person. Her eyes were closed in concentration as well.

" _I'd lie in bed and think about, the person that I wanted to be," _The last seven words were stressed a bit by Amu, as if she was trying to make some sort of point. She was still in her own world, not looking once at the camera. She was using her hands when she stressed her words, and her body was getting into a rhythm with the music.

"_Then one day I realized, the fairy tale life WASN'T for me!" _Utau voice got stronger here, showing her talent. Her hands were making stronger movements, now. She was getting into the song. The last "e" in me was stretched out, going a bit higher, adding style to her voice.

"_I don't wanna be like Cinderella, sitting in a dark cold dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and set me free!" _Amu's voice was strong, defiant, showing that she really meant those words. It stung a bit, like she didn't need me. She was moving her head emphatically, as if she was really talking to someone.

"_Come and set me free!" _Utau's voice echoed Amu's. It wasn't that high or that fancy, but it made the song better.

Amu then sang, "_I don't wanna be like someone waiting, for a handsome prince to come and save me, on I will survive… Unless somebody's at my side," _Another pierce hit me at my heart, because it felt like she didn't even want me: like she wasn't fazed at all by our break-up.

That's when they both looked at each other, as if resolving to a promise. They sang together, "_Don't wanna depend on no one else,"_ Utau's sang it slightly higher than Amu did, but both sang it with plenty of attitude.

There was a pause.

"_I'd rather rescue myself." _They both sang in perfect unison. They then turned their heads forward, and their eyes were open, and their bodies bobbing to the music.

There then was a short musical pause, and then Utau began, "_Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart, and mind; who's not afraid to show that he loves me."_ Her lips were moving with determination, and her eyes were shining. I could see Kukai visibly wince out of the corner of my eye.

There was a pause.

"_Somebody who will understand, I'm HAPPY JUST THE WAY I AM! Don't need nobody taken care of me," _Utau sang again, with the same feelings as the lyrics before. Amu was simply bobbing her head, counting when she would come in.

"_I will be there," _Amu sang, as a sort of echo.

"_I will be there for him just as strong as he will be there for me!" _The last six words were stressed, and she really meant it. She was staring forward, as if determined. Kukai winced again.

"_When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing!" _Both Amu and Utau sang, Amu going higher and stretching out "thing" until the next verse.

"_I don't wanna be like Cinderella, sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and set me free," _Utau sang, still showing attitude and defiance. Trying to show the world she was tough.

"_Come and set me free!" _Amu echoed this time, the song flowing well. I like how they split it up like they did- it was alternation.

"_I don't wanna be like someone waiting, for a handsome prince to COME AND SAVE ME, on I will survive, unless somebody's at my side," _Utau sang, and at the "come and save me" part, she went a bit higher.

"_Don't wanna depend on no one else," _This time, Amu sang it a bit higher, and Utau sang it with more defiance.

"_I'd rather rescue myself." _They both said, instead of sang.

There was a pause, and the music shut off. "Okay, that's it for today. Tomorrow, we'll record the rest, okay?" Nadeshiko's voice went on over the microphone. Both girls nodded, and looked a bit relieved.

As both gathered their stuff, Amu grabbed her bag, and in so doing, spilled many papers from it.

Utau went immediately to help her, as my sister would, but Amu was picking them up so fast, as if she didn't want anyone to see them.

A stray paper flew from her hands as my sister grabbed it.

"Amu, what is this?"

"It's nothing," Amu said, as she tried to grab it, and hair was covering her eyes.

"Oh, it's something, all right. It's a song. How come you've never shown this to me before?" She looked a bit hurt here, but she was teasing Amu by holding it where she couldn't reach.

"That song was never supposed to see the light of day. Or be recorded." Amu responded.

"Come on, Amu. It looks promising." Utau chided, sounding happy.

"That's not the point." She looked up, and glared at my sister.

"What is _up _with you?" My sister asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nothing, just give it…" Amu continued, trying to reach for it again.

"No. Tell me what it is!" Utau was angry now. Her best friend was hiding something from her, and she wanted to know what it was.

"No!" Amu refused to answer, turning away.

"Why are you so against it?" Utau tried to turn her around, but she wouldn't budge.

"I didn't even know I still had it! It's embarrassing!" Amu spit out, as if she was trying to get Utau to stop meddling.

"All the more reason to tell me!" She was more annoyed, now, that her friend couldn't trust her.

"Utau! You're not being fair!" Amu whipped around, staring her in the face.

"Who _ever_ said I was fair?" Utau's voice escalated.

Amu growled. She snatched it back, and buried it in her bag, and resumed picking the papers up.

Utau bent down and picked up another paper, as Amu was busy.

"These are all songs!" Utau said, shocked by her revelation.

"They're _old _songs." Amu corrected.

There was a pause as Utau wasn't listening. She was reading the sheet. "Hey, I know this song…"

"No you don't." Amu tried to cover it up with her voice. Her voice was blank, refusing to go any farther.

"Yes I do! These are some that you wrote with my brother!" Utau smiled, as if it was great. I was shocked. I didn't even know she still had those. It made me have a glimmer of hope for our relationship, and made me, Ikuto Tsukiyomi, want to cry in joy. She still had those! She had feelings for me! God, I was so happy, but I listened to the video anyways.

"…"

"Amu! You still have these! Aw… You are such a sentimental romantic!" My sister was happy now, cradling the song in her hands. She probably felt the same as I did right now, and was happy that Amu was who she was, and still liked me.

"Shut up! I didn't even know I…" She began again, slightly blushing.

"Of _course _you still knew you had these. Let's sing them!" Utau squee'd in joy, with happiness and wanting to know how they sounded.

Amu's mood darkened. "Let's not."

"Why not?" Utau stopped her happy parade, and searched Amu's eyes. She had said something wrong, she knew, but she didn't understand why.

"I don't ask _you _to sing the songs you wrote with Kukai!" Amu snapped back.

"This is different!" Utau snapped at her this time.

"No it's not! Respect my feelings, okay!" Amu's voice was ice and anger. It was something I had almost never seen in her. What was going on?

"I didn't know you had…" Utau began again, her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Shut. Up." Amu interrupted rudely, with no qualms. She began picking up the rest of the papers.

"Amu!"

"You aren't allowed to touch these! Not now, not ever!" Amu was stuffing them in her bag, and was talking about them as if they were sacred. They seemed like gold to her, the way she talked about them.

"I'll do what I want!"

"These are not mine!"

"Of course they are! They're yours and my brother's!"

"No, you're mistaken. He asked for the songs he wanted, and I kept the originals."

There was a silence. "What do you mean?"

"The lease I could do was _give_ him the songs he wanted! I don't have the rights for some of these anymore! They. Are. Not. Mine!"

"Amu, you _gave _my brother the songs he asked you for? The ones _you _wrote?"

"We wrote them together." She said, plainly.

"That's horseshit. My brother only wrote a few lines."

"That still qualifies."

"How could you do that?" Utau asked, outraged.

"Well, I _broke up with him! _What did you want me to do? These were joint property! I gave him what he wanted! It was the least I could do for breaking his heart!"

"You're so kind, you're mean." Utau said, in a low voice.

Something flashed in Amu's eyes. Was it pain? Sorrow? Anger? A mix of all three?"Don't lecture me! _You _haven't even given Kukai back his stuff!"

"So? He didn't give back _mine! _It was a fair deal! He kept my stuff, I kept his! I didn't give him anything!" Utau's voice was rising even louder.

"You did!" Amu matched Utau's voice.

"Did not!" Utau's volume went up.

"You're a liar, and you know it! You did the same thing!" Amu's volume went even higher.

"No…!" Utau tried to refuse, but Amu ranted, interrupting her.

"You gave him the straight cut of half the songs in that yellow folder! You mailed it to him and everything! You talk to him on the phone, Utau. I know you do. You ask about your brother, he asks about me. You don't _talk _to each other about _your relationship_. You're _civil, and you talk about mine._ And, he has to deal with that! He's fucking in love with you, so there's nothing he can do!At least, stop calling him! It's annoying to everybody! Cut yourselves both some slack! Do you know how painful that must be?"

"Don't lecture me! I can do what I want! So what if I call him, I need him!" My sister was almost in tears, and Amu's face was hard.

"Then why the fuck did you break up with him!" She asked, still shouting.

"I could ask you the same thing!" My sister matched.

"That's none of your business!" Amu shouted, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Then it's none of yours!"

"Get out!" Amu shouted, randomly.

Utau stopped. "What?"

"GET OUT!"

"You can't make me get out of the recording…

"Fuck you, Utau. Fuck you."

"Fuck you too, Amu Hinamori!"

"Tell Kukai I feel sorry for him!"

"I'll tell the same to my brother!"

"Don't bring up Ikuto!"

"Don't bring up Kukai!"

She grabbed a song, and ripped it up. It was slow, deliberate, and painful "Are you happy, Utau, are you happy?"

"No, I'm not! You just ripped up…"

"Fuck you and these songs. I don't care anymore."

"You do care! Stop destroying yourself! Get back with him!"

"I can't!"

"Why, because you're incapable of doing the one smart thing you could possibly do in all your life? He made you happy, Amu. You made him happy. You wrote songs together, you practically _lived _together! You got paid for gigs. You had a great life! Why can't you just…."

"Utau, I… I just can't." Amu's voice broke my heart. She sounded so utterly wounded, so much in pain, I wanted to reach out and help her. I wanted back into her life.

"Are you too prideful to admit you were wrong?" Utau's voice broke my thoughts.

"No." Amu looked down, her voice grave.

"Are you too good for my brother? Is that it?" Utau was getting angry all on her own.

"He's too good for _me_." She responded, as if she was the plague that only brought harm to people.

"Are you shitting me? What is this Hallmark bullshit? Why are you throwing yourself a pity party? GET BACK WITH MY BROTHER, YOU IDIOT!"

"GET BACK WITH KUKAI!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK YOU TOO!"

And then they just stood there, glaring at each other. There was a tense silence for a few moments.

"I'm not doing this anymore." Amu spoke first, gathering the papers.

"Are you keeping them? Please say that you are." Utau's voice was worried.

"I don't know."

"You can't destroy them, you know."

Amu looked back at her, with sad eyes. "I know. He was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Then…

"Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you."

"Amu, wait!" Nadeshiko had run towards her, leaving the camera where it was. "We need to talk about this!"

"I don't need to talk about anything, Nade."

"You don't just shout 'fuck you' to your best friend!"

"You shouldn't get involved with this!" Amu's fists were balled.

"I'm your best friend too! Come on, we tell each other everything!"

There was a silence from Amu. "I don't ask you why you lied to Nagi."

Nadeshiko froze. "What did you say?"

"I don't ask you about your brother, or how you lied about dancing in France! I don't ask you because I'm waiting for you to tell me, and I understand it's off limits! It's the same with Ikuto! DON'T FUCKING SAY HIS NAME!"

"I can say his name all I want! IKUTO, IKUTO, IKUTO!"

Amu glared at her. "Not you too," she mumbled. "I thought you would understand…"

"Understand what? That you're lying to yourself? Do you want to know the reason I lied to Nagihiko? He's my younger brother- he _idolizes _me. What would he and mom say if I told them I wanted to be a documentarist? They wouldn't understand, and he takes so much pride that we both like dancing! It's the only thing we talk about! Do you know how much it hurts to text him every single day, to talk about dancing and not about what I love to do, or my two best friends? He doesn't even know you _exist._ Because then, I'm not his sister anymore, I'm just some stranger who he doesn't know! I only told Dad, who sends me allowances to pay for the apartment we live in, some food, and a bit of furniture! It's not that I don't love dancing; it's that I love making documentaries! And what better way than to start by making them about my two best friends and their rise to stardom?"

"Nade…"

"No, don't you 'Nade…' me! I go through a lot, if not more than you! What is the only problem in your life? That you can't get it in your head that you love your little boyfriend and you're afraid of going too far! That's why you broke up with him!"

"You don't know anything! That's _not _why I broke up with him!"

"Fine, then, was it that commitment scares you? Is that it?"

"No, it's that I literally cannot be with him!"

"What is this? You 'can't' be with him? Of course you can!"

"No, Nade, you don't understand… If I get too close, then Utau…"

"What does Utau have to do with this?"

"Lower your voice!" She hissed.

"What does Utau have to do with this?"

"She… He…"

"He? Who's he?"

Amu was silent. "His name is…

And a shot rang out.

**All righty! That's the chapter thus far, and I know, more questions! Tee-hee! But now we know….**

**Both Amu and Utau still have feelings for Kukai and Ikuto**

**Nade is afraid of disappointing her mom and her brother, and wants to be a documentarist, but still loves dancing.**

**Someone else is involved with this!**

**Dun Dun duuuunnnn. This is becoming a sort of drama! What'll happen? Was that a shot I described? Yes it was! **

**More in the next chapter! Please review! Or else… *laughs evily***


	7. Chapter 6: Blackmail

**Woah, two chapters in one day! Who's awesome? ME! Haha, anyways, I couldn't resist continuing! This is great! I might be getting back on schedule… As always, some questions will be answered, and some will arise. Thanks to the people who reviewed, and I know! This is getting darker and darker with each chapter! Yay, dark things! All right, here it is!**

**Chapter 6: Blackmail**

**Ikuto's POV**

A scream of pain cuts through the tension between Amu and Nadeshiko.

Amu blinks, once, and is shown as a blur as she races toward the recording studio.

Utau, her hair over her eyes, is crying. My sister, the one who has never shed a tear in her entire life, was letting the waterworks flow as if she was SeaWorld.

Nadeshiko seems to be slower to respond, and comes in several seconds later, and is glued to the spot, watching Utau bleed.

Utau's holding her leg, which is spilling blood on her skinny jeans and on the hardwood floors like Willy Wonka's chocolate waterfall in the factory.

Amu is the only one who seems to be moving, searching for some kind of bandages. She's whipping her head around, looking once at Nadeshiko in her skinny jeans and graphic tee, once at Utau , who also has skinny jeans and a tee, and herself, with her shirt reaching her knees.

"Plug the wound, Utau," Amu instructs, cool as a cucumber.

At once, when Utau covers it, her hand is filled with blood. Nadeshiko turns green and rushes in the other direction.

Amu looks at her shirt again, and rips a good portion of it, making it a jagged, uneven rip that actually looks kind of cool. She wraps it around Utau like lightning, and picks my sister up piggy-back style, much like she did when we last saw her.

Nadeshiko returns, still a bit green, but her face is no longer consumed by it.

"Get our bags, Nade. Give me Utau's cellphone." Amu is articulate and speedy in her orders, but she seemed like the only one with a cool head. My sister was trying to get herself under control, but she kept hiccupping and crying again.

"What…?"

"Just hand it over." Amu balances Utau, who is now quietly sobbing, and dials numbers.

It is the tensest silence I have ever heard in my entire life, except for Utau's sobbing. I felt completely worthless to what had happened, and I couldn't help, not even one bit.

"…Fuck, voicemail." Amu's voice breaks the silence.

"Who…?" Nadeshiko begins, but Amu interrupts her.

"Shh… Hey Kukai, it's me. Utau's not going to be able to call you tonight, okay. You should come see her at Tokyo Hospital."

"Amu, what the hell are you doing?" My sister hissed.

Amu ignored her. "Don't tell Ikuto. I don't want him to get scared about us. He has enough to deal with. Say you're going to get coffee, or go to an interview to schedule a gig or something. I don't care: just get out and come. Oh, did I say not to say anything to Ikuto? If you do, I'll know. And I'll punch your face in. I'll call you back with more details. Oh, and Kukai? I don't want to see Ikuto's face at that hospital. Capisce? Bye."

She clicks off, shoves the phone in her pocket, and carries Utau out of the studio room. She walks to the recording part, slightly out of frame like when she was arguing with Nade.

"Nade, wait with her for a taxi. I need to get something," Amu instructs, as she hands me sister over to Nadeshiko.

"Okay, Amu." Nadeshiko replies, holding my sister bridal-style. The only indicator that they leave is that the door is heard to slam shut.

Amu looks around, and steps back into the recording studio room, probably to grab the bags. She closes the door, though, which is weird. I didn't get it. But, I watched.

"I know you're there," she says to practically no one. The mic is still on to the studio, and that's the only reason the camera can catch any audio.

And suddenly, a figure appears, the back of a grey hoodie and jeans. I curse to myself. It's the guy with the grey hoodie! He knew Amu! What the hell was going on?

He seemed to be balancing a revolver in his hand. "Hello, Amu." His voice is cold, authoritive, but slightly creepy. He seemed like a snake, hidden to the eye, biting the people he didn't like, and suddenly appearing.

"Hn." She grunts, crossing her arms. "You promised no one would get hurt!" Her voice is angry, outraged.

"But that was only a little _warning _shot, Amu. No one got seriously injured." His voice was ever calm and condescending. It was scarier that he didn't get mad, and maintained his tone.

"You call shooting someone in the leg a 'warning shot?' You've seriously got balls this time. They don't know anything!"

"Not yet."

"They'll never know about me, because _I don't want them to._"

"Oh Amu, how long will you be able to keep up this charade?"

"Forever."

"You're unrealistic."

"And you're an asshole." She spat venom at him.

"Tsk, tsk, Amu. Don't anger me, because you know what happens then."

"Don't you _touch _Ami!" She glared.

"Who _ever _said I would touch Ami?"

"My mother is off-limits! We made a deal!"

"And you have conditions to fulfill."

"I also have a deal with my father if you step out of line! No one is going to know about my family. Please. Just leave them alone."

"You were dangerously close to telling Ikuto."

"No, I wasn't!"

"You were."

"You're delusional!"

"Amu… Calm yourself. Or…"

"I know." She relaxed herself, but her shoulders were still tense, still angered.

"But you know what you don't? Your dad finally put us together."

Amu cursed. "Why can't you people just leave me alone? All I want to do us follow my dreams, and marry who I want to marry! Is that so hard to understand?"

"For you it is. You've done many bad things."

"I was young and stupid. People are allowed to make mistakes."

"You're still stupid, and _you _aren't allowed to make any mistakes. No one can save you Amu, no one but yourself. Why don't you just do what your father wishes you to do? Fame doesn't last long you know. And it would be so much easier for the people around you."

"I will never do what my father wants- not in this fucking lifetime. Singing is my dream, and fame is a bonus. And, easier for the people around me? Are you kidding? These people love me more than you will ever understand, and there is no way I am abandoning them!"

"What about Ikuto? Who would ever think that you, Amu, would fall for a sensitive musician! He qualifies as your bad boy! Did you love him because he was everything you could not have? Why not just come back to me?"

His words shocked me. Amu loved me, so why was this guy threatening her? My fists balled, and I had to control my breathing. Who was he to talk to her like that, who was this asshole?

Amu grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the wall. "I love Ikuto. Nothing on this planet will ever change that. He's everything that I could have ever wanted and more. He makes me _happy_, something I cannot say for you. And, you can report that to my father. He's one hundred times the man you'll ever be, so don't. You. Ever. Badmouth. Him." Her words warmed my heart, even if they were directed at someone else.

"That doesn't scare me. He still can't save you." He managed to speak in the same condescending tone he had been using throughout this conversation.

"I don't need him to save me, I can save myself, thank you very much."

"Splendid job on that. You just got your friend shot. And Kukai? Don't expect him to come in unharmed. He's going to get into an accident…"

Her grip loosened for a second, then tightened. "Don't. Touch. Kukai." There was a pause as both of them stared at each other, Amu glaring, and the other seeming to stare back, unwavering. But I couldn't see anything but his eyes.

"Call them off," Amu said, in her harsh tone. "I'll do what you want."

He chuckled, a deep, scary, evil kind of laugh. It sent shivers down my spine, the way he laughed. "You have two years, Amu. Two years to live your dream. And then, back to the cage you go."

"…Fine."

"And don't even _think _of telling your little boyfriend anything. _Or _getting back with him. Or else…"

"…Fine."

"And if any of them get closer to the truth, I'll take them out without mercy."

"…I'll do what you say."

"December 2012 is the month I'll be waiting for you, Amu dearest. I'll be eagerly awaiting your return to the House."

"Don't bring any of them into this."

"Don't _you _bring any of them into this."

"Okay," She let him go.

And she was alone again.

-x-

Amu looked as if she was about to throw up, and then her demeanor became cold again, devoid of emotions.

"_And even when your hope is gone, move along move along, just to make it through." _She sung to herself, a song I didn't know. Her voice seemed full of sorrow, full of pain, as if she had utterly given up. She grabbed the bags, and opened the door.

"Amu, the taxi came. Can you get my videocamera?" Nadeshiko's voice floated above the sorrow, a light tone despite the circumstances.

"Yeah," she walked over, and the screen went black.

There was a silence as the video ended, on such a sad note. Who was that guy? Why did he have so much power over Amu and how come he had so much power to begin with? Who were Amu's family, and how come she didn't want us to know? Did she not trust us enough? What happened to Amu? Who was she?

"I don't want to watch these videos anymore," Rima's voice broke the silence. "I'm going to rent a room in a hotel. I'm tired." She stood up, and brushed herself off.

"Me too," Nagi agreed. "Even if they have my sister in it, I feel like I'm watching something I shouldn't… Interfering in what is sacred, where I do not belong." He got up as well.

"I do not feel comfortable watching personal documentaries," Kairi said. He was walking towards the door.

"Yaya doesn't want to watch depressing things!"

Everyone had filed out of the room, except for Nagi. "Ikuto, Kukai… We'll leave you both alone to watch these." And then, he left.

I blinked, still stunned, and looked at Kukai.

"Kukai, did you go to the hospital that night?"

He didn't even hide it, "Yeah."

"Did you see my sister?"

"Yeah."

"Did you kiss her?"

He blushed, and looked down, making his hair fall over his eyes. "I… I don't remember."

"You're a dirty liar. You kissed her."

"I…"

"I bet you used tongue."

"I don't…" He said, and then raised his hands to make quotation marks, "kiss and tell."

I rolled my eyes. "Did you get some?"

He blinked, slightly confused. "No."

"But you did kiss her."

"Of course I did." Kukai looked at me, no longer avoiding it. "But we're not going to have sex in a _hospital, _for God's sake."

"The only reason you didn't was probably because you didn't want her to be uncomfortable with her leg." I smiled.

"Ikuto," he began, as if explaining to a small child, "you don't have _sex _in a _hospital._"

"Kukai," I began, my smile widening at making him uncomfortable.

"Seriously." He stopped me.

"You should have had mind-blowing sex with her so she would be guilty for leaving you and want you back," I stated.

"I'm not going to force myself on her…"

"Oh shut up, Kukai. You considered it."

"I actually did not."

"Then you fail as a man."

"Why are you so comfortable with talking about your _best friend _and _your sister _having _mind-blowing sex _in a _hospital_? Any other person would be seriously angry for me even considering the topic, which I _did not._"

"I guess I just am."

"You're strange," He laughed.

"You just noticed?"

"Well, what about Amu?" He randomly asked.

"Huh?"

"Oh, come on, Ikuto. Someone is _blackmailing _her. She can't get back with you because she's afraid one of us will get hurt, not because she doesn't love you. I don't see you jumping with joy."

"Oh, believe me, my heart's _ecstatic."_Ireplied, matching his sarcasm.

"You _sure _sound like it."

"Let's watch another one," I offered.

Kukai paused, his mouth twitching toward a frown. "Nah, I don't think I have the strength to," he answered. "Rima just gave me back my stuff that Utau had. It seems so _unnatural, _you know? It's been gone so long, that it feels like I'm holding _her _stuff instead of mine."

I could tell the fact that she still had it meant a lot to him, but the presence of it was destroying him, as if she was never going to be able to bring it back to him in person.

"Dude…"

"Rima told me that Utau wore them when she was sad, or lonely. Do you know how much that means to me, Ikuto? She still depended on me, indirectly. She depended on _my stuff _to make herself feel better. She still has feelings for me: she never got over me. I never got over her, you know."

I knew. I knew how devoted Kukai was to my sister, and refused to even _look _at other women in the whole two years that he hasn't seen her, for fear she would read the tabloids. Even if the phone calls were pure torture, he would always light up when her name showed up on the caller-ID. "I know."

"You never got over Amu, did you?"

"Never."

"But you tried."

"Not that hard. I didn't _want _to get over her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." I admitted.

"True." He understood exactly how I felt, and was immersed in his own thoughts. "Hey, is it true about the songs?"

"What, that she gave them to me?" I posed his question for him.

"Yeah."

"She did."

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

"So why haven't we used them?"

"We have."

"…Oh."

There was a silence.

I leaned back in the chair, Amu's hand still in mine. "It's amazing how Amu was right about those phone calls, and how she knew to call you when Utau was hurt. She's good with everyone else's relationships but her own."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Ikuto, watching those hurt a whole bunch, you know that?"

"Yeah," I closed my eyes, for a second. "They do."

"But we're watching another one, right?" He asked, knowing what I would say, what both of us wanted, but asked anyway.

"Right."

**All right, all done! Whew! I really wrote most of the last part because it seemed amusing to me. Poor Kukai, talking to the brother of his girlfriend about what they do... That's gotta be awkward. Ikuto's so mean, but he's cute all the same. Hey, it was amusing! Don't lie!**

**Poor Nagi, as well. His sister lied to him! And Kairi's painfully out of the loop. **

**Summary time!**

**Utau's gotten shot both in the past and present- in the same spot… Her leg.**

**Kukai went to the hospital both times**

**Someone blackmails Amu, setting a time limit before she has to go back to the House. Who is this person, and who are Amu's family? **

**Ikuto, as always is sadistic towards his best friend, and to himself.**

**Please review! They make me happy.**


	8. Chapter 7: Glimpses of the Past

**Hey guys, isn't it great? I had a new idea for a chapter! Yippeee! Alright, thanks to everyone who favorited, reviewed, and alerted! You guys make me so happy! All right, as usual, some questions are answered and some arise. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter 7**

_The room was barren, except for a couple of bags of guns, empty bottles of beer, wrappers from fast-food products, and some empty boxes. One girl was drawing something on the dirt floor, and mumbling about something. Another was eating a burger, talking fast. One was simply observing what was happening, and the last was silent, watching the other three._

_One had short blue hair with a swoop covering one eye, and a nose ring. She had on black jeans, was wearing a black overcoat, and no shirt- but her boobs were wrapped. She had something of a knife in her hand, and was drawing on the dirt floor. She was Miki, the strategist of the bunch._

_The one eating the burger was Ran: she had her had pink hair in a side ponytail, as always. She was the hit girl; she did anything and everything for the team. She was also wearing the same outfit as Miki, but instead of a knife, she had a long pipe with several hearts drawn on it._

_The one who was observing was Dia, and she had her strawberry blonde hair in pigtails, and she smacking her gum every so often. She was the leader, and had her Bluetooth plugged in her ear, ready to give orders. Her weapon was brass knuckles._

_The last was Su, the newbie, who had her blonde hair stuffed in a white beanie, except for the two blonde strands that were out. Her weapon was a metal bat._

_The all had the same outfit of long pants, preferred weapons, wrapped boobs, and long overcoats._

_The door opened, suddenly._

"_Ran, Miki, Su, Dia." A girl's voice greeted. Her pink hair just barely touched her shoulders, and she was in the same outfit as the four. In her hand, she had a long pipe, that if she pushed a button, a knife would come out the end of it. She was the most experienced of the group, even if she was the same age. Her team needed her wisdom for what could and could not happen in her wide experience._

"_Amu, you're _late._" The word was stressed, by none other than Dia. She was no-nonsense type of leader, and Amu simply smirked a bit._

"_Yeah, sorry." She said, as if it meant nearly nothing to her. "I had to sneak out tonight." _

"_You don't every night?" Quipped Miki, rolling her eyes. _

"_Haha." Amu laughed sarcastically, though nothing was funny._

"_Hey Amu, you look down today. Did Tadase reject you again?" Su asked, like she genuinely cared._

"_Yeah. But somethin' doesn't feel right about him, you know?" She said, as she kneeled, looking at what Miki was drawing. It was obviously a drop-off of the guns they collected. The Charas, their gang, didn't use guns. Guns were too heavy, too personal- people who had guns got in trouble immediately and were usually the first to go because of the monster of revenge._

"_He hangs out with people like us, you mean?" Ran asked, ever the talkative one on subjects that should have better been dropped._

"_Exactly... But Kiseki is more ruthless." Amu answered, absorbing the plan._

"_Ah, I hate depressing subjects! I want action. You ready for a night on the town, ladies?" Ran asked._

"_Yeah!" Everyone yelled._

_-x-_

_It was a different day. Much time had passed. The scene opens in the rain, cleansing the blood of certain people's hands. It didn't start here, but it ended here._

_The rain was beating down on all five bodies, on three crowding around one, and the last watching. It was night: everything was dark in the alley. No one was around because it was the dead of night: and this part of town was abandoned. There was blood on the ground, on the walls, on hands, on pipes, on brass knuckles, and knives. _

"_You're fucking trash."A voice was heard, harsh, cutting, like her knife._

"_Bitch! Who said you could leave us?"The voice was loud, slamming into you like her pipe._

"_I hope you see hell by the time we're through!" Another voice was heard, punching straight to the middle like her knuckles. _

_All were covering their faces with their black hoodies, and hiding their bodies in their dark pants._

_All of them were beating the girl on the ground, her pink, shoulder-length hair spilling onto the street, blood on her head where they smashed her head unto the brick wall. Her wrappings around her boobs were bleeding, and so were her pants, and blood was leaking out of her mouth. She was half-dead, but still breathing. It was impossible to fight back, since if she moved, more things would slam into her. All their attention was focused on her, and as long as it was, she could not make a move. _

"_Guys…"_

"_Shut up, Su! No one asked you! Now take a punch at her, or you'll die too!"Miki swore, and at that moment, all attention was on Su._

"_Fuck all of you!" Amu spat, as she got up in one swift motion, knocking the girls, who had already suffered multiple injuries due to Amu, down._

_She pushed the button on her pipe, and the knife came out. She was twirling it gracefully, each twirl hitting one of the girls, or cutting them. _

_They all groaned, and Amu kicked each one's stomach, and punched them several times in the face. She took Ran's pipe, hit her with it, and then threw it on the ground. Then, she grabbed Miki's knife and stabbed her, and took out the knife, then throwing it on the ground as well. "Why can't you just stay down?" Was Dia's cry. Then, she grabbed Dia's brass knuckles and punched her face._

_Last was Su, who hadn't touched Amu, not once._

_She grabbed Su by the collar, and looked threateningly at her. "Thanks Su," she whispered, in case anyone could hear. Then, she kneed her in the stomach. "I'll never forget you, or the debt I owe."_

"_BITCH!" Su screamed, but then whispered, "You're welcome," and struck Amu in the face, hard._

_Amu kicked her again, and Su fell. Miki, Ran, and Dia had already passed out._

_They had pulled Amu's hair, cut her, punched her, kicked her, rammed her head against the brick wall, but she still was the last one standing._

_She looked toward the moon and said, "This is boring. I'm leaving."_

_But, Amu resolved, if Su needed anything, anything at all… Amu would provide it for her, no matter what the cost. She owed Su her life._

_-x-_

_It was still the same day, and the darkness that befell Tokyo was a deep black, and the rain seemed to be trying to cleanse something, but the rain was never-ending, trying to cleanse something that would always remain dirty._

_Amu limped into a mansion, staining the luxurious lawn her red, angry color. Her eyes were their normal amber color, and flashed with defiance and power, and slight pain. She opened the door with her key, the one she always left herself, in the brick of the outside wall, second to the left from the door._

_She walked into the grand halls, staining the white carpet with red blotches, but she had ripped her black overcoat, now going halfway down her thighs instead of starting at the rim of her combat boots. Her wounds were covered well, but her pain was not apparent. _

_A little girl, still small enough to be called little, a ripe thirteen, was reading a book about the photography of animals on the uncomfortable couch, as Amu viewed it, as she heard the door slam. _

_Like any regular person, she looked up to see what had caused the noise, and looked up to see her sister, who she would rarely see at night, drenched in her and other's blood. Amu was soaked to the bone- the water reaching into the injuries she had just acquired. Her jacket was ripped, her pants were ripped, her knuckles were bleeding, and her head was too. Of course, this sight could have been much more horrible if Amu hadn't performed emergency first-aid on herself._

"_Amu!" Her younger sister cried, as her brown hair swished to her body as she rose from the couch. "What happened to you?" _

_Ami looked at the sister she so admired, limping away, not daring to speak. Just as Amu opened her mouth, two men in black suits came and grabbed her, trying to force her away in another direction._

_If this was any other day, Amu could have taken them out easily, but this was not. She had just returned from a fight that could have cost her life, and she was not anxious to fight against men who were not injured in the slightest. She still struggled of course, because of her pride, and this caused her to be hit, yet again on the head._

_This time she passed out._

_They then clomped up the stairs, their burly figures awkward and not suited to be bodyguards. _

_They then traveled down the hallway, were cries in the bedroom were heard. And then, at the end of the hall, the bodyguards dutifully dropped off the daughter of the house on the chair, facing the shadowed desk._

_She opened her eyes then, because all her experience had told her she could not stay out for long periods of time, or else something horribly awful would befall them._

_A harsh voice cut the silence, causing the girl at the couch to sit up and pay attention to the ever-annoying voice. "Amu, I've tolerated you, in all your years. I've covered up your mistakes. I've put you in nice schools. But is this how you pay me back? By joining a gang?" A yellow file folder plopped on the desk, full of HD color pictures and text of Amu, and her gang._

_The voice made Amu smirk, and lick her lips. It was always so condescending, so harsh, that Amu always wanted to reach past the desk, past the shadows, and choke the living daylights out of the face she never saw. It was always hidden behind the light, skulking in the shadows. Amu had always, always, wanted to get into the shadows, to invade the place he thought he was safest, and kill him._

_She spit blood unto the desk, unto the folder specifically, and sneered, "Oh __**Father.**__" She spit the word out, like it was disgusting to even think of such a thing, "You're a little late. I'm out of the gang. Didn't you know? Or did your informants fail to find that specific tidbit?"_

_And there was a silence, as always, when she spoke. Amu never knew what it was. At first she always thought it was disappointment, but she knew now, after all these years, that the man on the other side of the desk was trying to hold in his anger._

_There was a cluck of the tongue, as if he had decided on a punishment. "Amu, I'm sending you to Tadase's for a few days, until you learn your lesson. You can't join a gang. That isn't respectable to the media."_

_Amu thought about it for a second. At first, she was overjoyed tha she would go to Tadase's house, but suddenly, a feeling of doubt punched her like Dia's knuckles. If her father, the cruel overlord of money and corruption, wanted to send her to _someone else's house to learn her lesson, _Amu didn't want to go there. No matter whose it was. But she had to make a deal of sorts that would be in her favor. She would never get a chance like this again, and her father was fond of deals that ended well in his favor. So, she had to make him think that she had losing chips. Amu was a good bluffer._

"_How about we strike a deal?" She asked. "I can choose my own punishment, save you from the media, and save you money."_

_The sound of the chair creaking was good enough to let Amu know that he had put his elbows on the table, and his full attention was on her. It was a rare occurrence, but Amu had no time to rejoice. She had to get the best end of the deal- to get out of this shallow fake household that was as lonely as the sobs she heard at night from her parent's bedroom- and she could make her own life. She could build it, brick by brick, and that is what she had been waiting her entire life to do. To be free._

"_How about this," Amu said, using her best business voice. "This is a three part deal, all of which benefits you of course."_

"_I'm listening," the condescending voice was still there, but with a hint of interest. She had caught him._

"_First, you promise me that Tadase doesn't come near me." _

"_And, what does this have to do with the deal?" His inquiry wasn't condescending- it was curious._

"_You don't interrupt when someone is making a sales pitch," Amu reminded. "Anyway, I want out of this house. You won't have to support me or cover up for me anymore, and I'll make my own life, even on the streets. You can save your money on other, worthwhile causes. But, the condition to the second part is that you have to send Mom to Auntie's, and not go within fifty feet of her."_

"_Done." He had thrown away his wife, supposedly the love of his life, for money and prestige. Amu had always known it would happen, and she was glad that her mother would be out of his radar._

"_The last part is that you must cut me out of this family and leave me alone, not take one step into my affairs. But the condition to this is to send Ami to good schools and make a good life for her. And, not to touch her."_

_There was a silence, not heavy as before, but a pondering silence._

"_What about you?" The condescendence was back, not even tinged with curiosity. It was a statement._

"_All I need you to do is cut me out of the family." Amu's voice showed no emotion._

"_What does that entail for you?" _

"_Nothing, except for getting the stuff I bought and own out of this house."_

"_Done. But I have a condition." He paused, making sure he had her attention. "Be out of this house in twenty minutes, or else I'll call security."_

"_Done," Amu responded, making a beeline for her room._

_She had got him: hook, line, and sinker. She sniggered to herself._

_Today was the best birthday she had ever had._

_-x-_

**Ikuto's POV**

Kukai popped in the next video, which happened to be shot in the same day. They were in the ER, and the nurses were wheeling Utau out of the frame. The focus was on Amu, who didn't seem to notice that she was being filmed.

"Oh god, poor Utau… And all because of me."

She then turned to Nadeshiko, who was holding the videocamera in her hand. Her face transformed into guilty to angry in a matter of seconds. "What are you doing, filming here? Nade, that's uncalled for!"

As Nade proceeded to explain that it was for the documentary, something caught my eye in the background. It was a guy in a grey hoodie talking to the nurse.

"Kukai, pause it here! Look!" And I pointed, and he studied the picture.

What the hell was going on?

**All right, and that's where I ended my chapter! How was the glimpse into the past? Good? Ah, not to worry, many more things happened before it escalated to this point. I hope you guys review, so I know what you think! **


	9. Chapter 8: Past and Present Pain

**Chapter 8 is here! Woo! I'm glad everyone enjoyed a glimpse of Amu's past, which is slowly but surely going to be revealed! I will make a sequel to this story line; I feel it in my bones! Ah, thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and alerted! It makes me totally happy! On with it!**

**Chapter 8**

**Ikuto's POV**

Kukai looked at me like I was crazy. He was trying to decide whether I was too tired to understand what was going on, or just pointing at something he couldn't see.

"What are you pointing at?"

I blinked. "I'm pointing at a guy in grey hoodie."

"And..?"

I inhaled sharply. He didn't seem to understand the severity of my statement. My best friend seemed utterly oblivious to everything that was going on around him, either that, or he just didn't see the connection.

"Grey hoodie. Like, the guy who talked to Amu in the video? The guy who stabbed her today?"

Kukai looked me over, and gave me a stern look. "There are a _lot _of guys in grey hoodies-"

"Don't lecture me, Kukai. I know it's the same guy."

He stared at me, and I stared right back. I _knew _it was the same guy, and he doubted me, his best friend? Where was the loyalty, where was the complete and utter faith?

His stare was the first to break away. He stared at the floor, breathed, and looked at me again. "Look, Ikuto. I know you're sure. But I'm _trying _to give you a healthy dose of reality. There are a lot of grey hoodies-

"But!"

He held up his hand and glared at me."Shh. I'm not **finished. **_There are a lot of grey hoodies in this city, Ikuto. _I know you're out for blood for the person who hurt Amu, but the chances are too high that this is a simple-

"Kukai! Don't be stupid…"

"**Don't you be stupid, Ikuto.**" His voice was cold, cutting. It made me shut up. It made my breathing catch in my throat, and made me, _me_! Flinch. I'd never heard Kukai talk like this. Maybe he's being pushed to his limits too. He'd seen Utau get shot twice and could do nothing about it. Maybe he was just as pissed as I was.

_**How would you feel if it was Utau? **_I wanted to scream, I wanted to pound some sense into my best friend. It was the **same man. **I knew it. I wanted to jump into that video, I wanted to jump into the years I had been gone, and I want to smack this guy in the hoodie with all I've got. I want to kill him.

I want to kill him.

I want to Kill. Him.

I .Want. To. Kill. Him.

My fist rammed into the wall, making my knuckles bleed. I didn't even feel the pain. I was out for bloodshed. I was out to…

"Ikuto!"

I blinked. That voice brought me back to reason. That voice, a soft, hurt melody, so familiar…

I looked towards the hospital bed- Amu was holding my hand. She was squeezing back. Her hair was falling over the bars of the bed, but her amber, almost golden eyes, shone. "Don't."

And her eyes closed again.

I sunk into my chair, glancing at my best friend.

I looked to Kukai, who was as pale as a white sheet. His lips were a hard line, and his eyes were the "deer in the headlights" look. They were almost bulging out of his head. His knuckles were white, clasped in his fist. He was completely, utterly, frozen.

"Kukai, it's okay."

I had never seen anyone frozen in fear before, but obviously, I had been pretty scary.

"Kukai."

He still didn't move.

I watched as he swallowed, and gradually began to regain his color.

He breathed.

"Ikuto, if you see that guy in the videos again, tell me."

"Okay."

He hit the play button.

_Amu had gotten out of the house, with only one backpack of clothes ,her laptop, accessories, memories, money, and food: plus her acoustic guitar and its case. She had changed into some jeans and her black hoodie._

_It was still raining, and Amu thanked the gods that her backpack and case was water-proof, the things her mother had bought her for her now sixteenth birthday. There was also a cell-phone plan she paid for on her own, and her mother had texted her once she knew what had happened between her and her father. Her mother said she would still pay for her schooling._

_She would have to figure out where to live by herself, though. Her mother's power only extended so far without her father's knowledge. Amu was grateful, but really, she wanted to be on her own. That was the whole purpose. If she had to suffer, fine. If she had to starve, fine. _

_Her mother said she would after she finished high school._

_Amu was grateful, but yet she was saddened. _

_She would miss her sister. _

_She would miss her mother._

_But most of all… She would miss Tadase._

_She couldn't think of it now. She had to keep moving, she had to find a place to stay. She shook Tadase out of her head._

_She passed a little motel. _

_She looked at it, saw the lack of people in it, the crumbling building, and realized it would be pretty cheap. She had around 50,000,000 ¥ which was all her previous allowance over sixteen years piled up. She had opened a new bank account, and put only half in it. The other half would stay with her. She could defend herself if she got mugged, nothing to it. She had never stayed anywhere that wasn't luxurious, and frankly she was excited. Rich people never gave a second thought to a man begging for money on the street, wouldn't say "please" or "thank you," and worst of all- they had no friends that were _real _friends. If they lost all their money, they lost their friendships too._

_That's why Amu was cold to what she called her "colleagues" because she never wanted to get too attached to the rich lifestyle. It was only a smokescreen- all that glamour. The paparazzi would hoard to those people like vultures to roadkill or rats to trash: and only the light was shone of these people. All the darkness was hidden behind closed doors._

_Not any of her father's rape of her mother, or his sweeping under the rug of Amu's faults. The bribery._

_Her mother's pain every single night._

_Not Ami's cutting, her depression._

_Amu hated what she had to be- society's lady, or whatever. Perfect manners, perfect clothes, perfect smile, fake smile…._

_Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect._

_It was killing her family._

_It was killing _her.

_That's why she couldn't wait to be free. The only time she could be was in her gang, but that was only her "taking out stress and rebelling." _

_When she had seen what her gang _actually _did, Amu wanted out. She wanted no part in a murder. Her gang was supposed to keep peace in the territories, not fund an all-out gang war!_

_But it didn't matter anymore. Amu was out._

_She walked into the crumbling hotel, only to find that it was extraordinary inside! Everything was well-maintained, which was more to say than for the outside._

_There was an old chandelier inside, everything was pristine, but vintage classic._

_There were fountains, the facilities of baggagemen, flowers everywhere, golden elevators, rooms with large spaces… And Amu knew that at one point, it had been a luxury hotel. _

_But it had style- honesty to it. Richness that was more genuine, in a strange way. _

_She could practically see the ghosts of the rich going in for a spa, going in for a ball…_

"_Is that a customer?"_

"_I think it is!"_

_Amu snapped out of her dream, and heard voices of two guys. _

**Ikuto's POV**

As soon as Kukai hit the play button, his shoulders tensed.

But we both paid our utmost attention to the screen, watching the mysteries of the past unfold.

Amu was still scolding Nadeshiko, but then she stopped. It seemed random, so sharp and sudden.

"I need some air."

I heard her voice, so different, so hurt. She seemed to be losing control of herself. Tears threatened to fall, and she walked out.

Out of the frame, Nade put the camera down, still recording the corner Amu had just turned. I don't understand why it was important, but I learned in about ten seconds.

Amu had hightailed it back to Nadeshiko so fast, you would have thought she had seen the guy in the grey hoodie. But seemed something else entirely.

Her shoulders were shaking, she was pale, and tears were racing down her face.

"Amu?" Nadeshiko's voice was full of concern as Amu simply cried in silence. "Amu, what is it?"

The camera fell into her lap as Nadeshiko shook Amu.

Amu said nothing, but shook her head. It seemed as if she saw something so incredibly painful that…

"Nade, I just saw Ikuto." Her voice was choked, uneven, full of pain.

"What do you mean, you just saw him? He's not supposed to be here!"

**All right. That's where I'll end it. Sorry for the lateness… Wait. I'm only a week off. I'M NOT THAT FAR BEHIND! Yay.**

**We took another trip to the past again. How did you guys like it?**

**How's the present?**


	10. Chapter 9: Birthday Guilt

**As a beautiful (and wayyyy late) response to the reviewers who have been goddesses and gods (who knows, maybe some guys read my stories) I'd like to thank: BlueMonkeyDoll, Jaz-147, Little-bad-Angel, S2-xBlizzard-AngelxS2 (damn, that was hard to type out!) cutevampkitten03, BlackWolfe, Princess Utau, xxxEmerald Butterflyxxx, Risie-chan, and Clockwork Rose. Your reviews might not get thanked for a looong time, but I always appreciate them, and it makes me so happy. *wipes tears* And, thanks to all who favorited and alerted because even in your silence, you love me! OH GOD, THANK YOU EVERYBODY! Well. Enough of rambling and being happy and things. IT IS ANGST TIME!**

**Chapter 9**

_A red-haired baggage man and a purple-headed waiter came her way._

"_Woah, dude!" The red-haired guy was wearing a vintage red suit, gold on the edges, with gold buttons and nice shoes. He was elbowing the waiter in the chest, and the waiter winced every time he did so._

_The purple-headed waiter was wearing all white, black buttons going down his chest and an apron was tied over his waist. He was scowling towards the red-haired boy, and then turned to Amu, with a smile of hospitality._

_Amu took a deep breath in, waiting for the insults to spill forth. The black hoodie, the trashy jeans…_

"_It really is a customer! I'm not dreaming!" The red-haired guy rubbed his eyes. "Living, breathing, everything! Damn, Nagi! You said you hardly had anyone come in this place!"_

_Obviously the waiter was named Nagi._

_Nagi scowled at such a statement. "Sorry, miss. My friend really is, uh... Shall we say, eccentric?" His smile was a bit fake, and Amu called him out on it._

"_Jeez. No need for the 'hospitality smile' dude. If you don't want me here, that's cool…"_

_Amu turned to walk away, and the red-haired boy caught her arm._

"_Hey, wait! You can't leave! I'm sooooo bored here!" He shot her the puppy look, making his eyes all big and his lips in a pout. "No one comes 'cause NAGI HERE REFUSES, __**RE-FUSES**__! TO GET THE OUTSIDE REMODELED!"_

"_Kukai! I said that this is a HISTORICAL MONUMENT!" _

"_You mean it's historically bad-looking!"_

"_Shut up!"_

_They began to squabble with each other, and the rain started pounding outside again. Amu held in laughter from their fight._

"_Come on, you've got nowhere else to stay! We can show you a good time! The customers that _do _come here are pretty loyal, and they always invest in us! We're kind servicemen! You've gotta do it! PLEASEEEEE!" Kukai begged, trying to get rid of his boredom._

_He jammed Nagi in the ribs again._

"_Please stay. You've got nowhere to go, correct? The rain is pounding down hard, making everything more difficult. Stay for one night- it's cheap. And if you stay for more, we'd be glad to keep you in our company."_

_Amu blinked. She had never seen people like this before. Truly kind people, _that _warmed her heart. And something reminded her of a home long ago, and she felt she could actually start over here. Plus, Kukai reminded her of Ami, the way he would make his please-please-please stare, and Nagi reminded her of herself, so mature… Before she realized what was actually happening at home. But they _were _kind of right, she thought. Nowhere else would be the kind servicemen, the cheap hotel, the classic rooms._

"_All right, I'll stay." Amu sighed._

_As they informed her she could pick her own room, they both plodded after her, having nothing better to do. As Amu was going down the halls of the second floor, _

"_Hey, hey miss! You never told us your name! Oh, and your birthday! Here, at the (historically bad-looking monument)" Kukai whispered the last part, "Tokyo Gala Hotel, we have a tradition of honoring our guests with birthday celebrations! It's been awhile since its glory days, and we're dirt poor, but I'm sure we can have some fun with karaoke and microwavable cakes! Hey, a movie, too! We kinda own this hotel now, so…"_

_He trailed off, waiting for her answer. _

"_Amu. My name's Amu."_

"_And your birthday?" Nagi asked, as she stopped in front of a room._

"_I think I like this room." The door was open, as if welcoming her in. It was a room filled with mystery with its wonderful view and dark-ish decorations. It would be perfect for a lone wolf like Amu._

_Nagi and Kukai exchanged a glance at each other, and as Kukai was about to say, "Someone has that room,"_

_Nagi hit him in the ribs and whispered, "It would do him good to meet someone like her. A girl who seems to have been through a lot… Someone who is drawn to this place. That's what's called _fate _Kukai."_

"_Fate my patooie. Fate is something in _romance novels, _Nagi. This is real life. What do you expect to happen? Something magical? That our mutual friend would decide to return in the near future if he has been gone for months, just because of fate? Bullshit. I bet ten bucks he won't show." Kukai sneered back._

"_Ten it is," and sealing the deal with a handshake from Kukai, Nagi turned to her and said, "It's been awhile since that room has been used, but I thiink he won't mind." _

"_You never said your birthday!" Kukai said enthusiastically, as he glared at Nagi, still doubtful, who was smiling brightly. _

_Amu's back was to the two of them, looking at the room. "Damn, whoever had this room last was one lucky guy!" _

"_See, I _told _you so!" Nagi whispered to Kukai, which got his foot stomped on._

_Amu turned as she looked upon the whispered bickering session they had. Amu was slightly jealous of them, because she really had no one to fight with, no close relationship with anyone at all… _

_But then she sighed. "My birthday isn't a big deal."_

_Both faces turned to her, aghast, as if she had just said that she would be dying from cancer. _

"_What do you mean?" They both said in unison, then glared at each other, then turned back to her._

"_Birthdays are SUPER DUPER important!" Kukai raced to say first._

"_It's the day you were born," Nagi said, two seconds later._

"_And you should totally spend it with friends!" Kukai giddily explained, finishing his friend's sentence._

"_It's a special occasion to celebrate your life." Nagi finished the entire topic altogether. _

_They both looked at her expectantly._

"_I don't have any…" She thought of Su, and shook her head. "I don't have any friends anymore."_

"_Well, that is just plain sad! You look like a kind soul…" Kukai interjected._

"_You should stop avoiding the question." Nagi's voice was blunt, but not cold._

"_Nagi! That's ruuude!"_

"_Shut it, Kukai!"_

_They went into another bickering session as Amu unloaded her backpack and guitar off her back. The view of the moon and the skyline here was great. Everything seemed so welcoming, so safe. It seemed like a den, waiting for her, calling to her, and her tastes. And the people here were so kind. So fun. They were entertaining. She would stick around, she thought. If not for a couple of days._

"_Your birthday?"_

_Amu was distracted by the moon, so bright and close and full that she wanted to step out of the window and unto the terrace and touch it._

"_Oh, my birthday? Today."_

"_TODAY?" They shouted, and then looked at each other."Shit!"_

_As they fumbled their words, Amu told them to relax. _

_But Kukai dragged Nagi out, whispering something in his ear. "Wait here! We'll put something together!"_

_Amu rolled her eyes, but they hadn't noticed. They had already left, and slamming the door behind them._

_She could still hear their rushed footsteps running down the stairs, and ideas jumping from both lips of the two guys._

_She sighed. _

_It had been so long since she had been with people her age, people who actually cared about _her. _The gang never treated her that way, and neither did her father. He only did birthdays for balls, meaning for more meetings. More meetings meant more money. _

_More money meant more bribes for her to go to school._

_Her "colleagues" gave her gifts to gain her favor. Her gangmembers, except for Su, forgot._

_Her mother and sister always remembered, but they were family. They weren't _friends.

_She didn't have friends. But it felt nice to be cared for._

_She never really experienced it before._

_It felt kinda nice._

_After fully unpacking, and laying tummy-up and staring at the ceiling, an out-of breath Kukai knocked at the door._

"_Amu! Come on, let's celebrate your birthday!"_

**Ikuto POV**

I blinked, one, twice. I didn't recall passing by the hospital that night. What had Amu seen?

"Oh my gosh! Did he see you? Was he driving by? Did he SAY something to you?" Nadeshiko's questions came fast and heavy, like they were fired from a machine gun.

Amu simply shook her head.

"I saw him on a billboard."

Her words shook me. It was as if I still had influence on her, even if it was in a picture form.

"Amu, which one?" Nadeshiko had paused as she seemed to collect herself. "Which one was it?"

Amu stayed silent for a second.

"The one where it showed his eyes, looking straight into the camera, and his hair barely in the frame: the "Seeing You" Cologne. Nade…. His eyes! His… eyes. It was as if he was accusing me, looking through me! They were so sad, so full of pain. Nade… What have I done?"

Amu's voice was broken.

"You know, the easiest way to fix it…"

"**I can't, Nade." **She looked up from her hands, and stared straight into the camera.

"Why are you so…" Nade was about to complain, but Amu stopped her.

"I'm not afraid of **commitment, **_**I'm scared of something much more dangerous.**_"

"And that is…?"

"Drop it." Her voice was full of sad malice. She looked away.

"Then don't come crying to me about it, expecting me to comfort you and not ask any questions. If you left, you have to let go of him."

"I can't." She looked at the camera again.

"Why?"

"I love him, Nade." The answer was something that made my heart clench, and I didn't even know how to react. I knew this, and yet the puzzle was still too hard. I couldn't figure out everything just yet. But I knew these videos would help me.

"Then why?"

"If you love it, you have to let it be free." She looked away, and in her eyes, was this whole and complete sadness that seemed to consume her. She looked in the direction of the billboard with sad longing. How could I have not seen how broken she was?

"What is WITH that mantra? That doesn't even FIT in this situation! What is wrong with you?"

"So many things." Her eyes went forward again, and her hand covered up the camera.

**Sorry for the short chapter. This is getting so heavy emotionally! I know exactly what's going to happen for everyone, and I'm so excited for the next chapter. Did you guys like it? Do you like how I'm blending past, present, and past again? Hm.. Hopefully this isn't too cliché. I hate those kinds of stories. Review, please! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK!**


	11. Chapter 10: Past Relations

**Okay, this might be a slightly shorter chapter focusing more on the far-away past because I want a lot to happen. (This is the set-up chapter for the next.) I need to let you guys understand all of what happened and why everything exploded out of proportion with gray-hoodie-man (and his threats) and the Hinamori family. I'm surprised that no one asked about Nagi, even though he didn't really know Amu in the present, but did in the past. DO NOT WORRY. QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED... Eventually. So… GET READY. I OWN NOTHING BUT MY FABULOUS PLOT.**

**Chapter 10**

"_Amu! Come on, let's celebrate your birthday!"Kukai's voice reached her ears from the closed door, and she took a moment to stabilize herself. She had never really had a birthday party before, and she was sort of excited. After a moment's hesitation, she took a deep breath, and opened the door._

"_I'm ready." Her voice remained un-cracked, but her heart was beating fast in excitement and there were butterflies in her stomach._

_Kukai's smile greeted her, "Hey, loosen up! It's just a party!"_

_But that was exactly it, Amu thought to herself. She never really had a party before- one just for her. She didn't care what awaited her, but what she did care about was the fact that two people she didn't even know threw her a party out of the goodness of their hearts and out of their own pocket… For her. _

_And they didn't even know her._

_She followed Kukai down the stairs, and met Nagi in the ballroom/dining hall._

_She was surprised at the sight, as it was decorated with crepe paper of different colors on the ceiling (how they got up there, she didn't know) of red, blue, green, and orange. _

_On the stage, where Nagi had just jumped off, there was a Karaoke machine and old speakers were mounted on the stage, dusted off and ready to use._

_Right in front of the stage, were two white foldable chairs, with a white table in front, catering two different types of cake- vanilla with strawberry icing and chocolate with midnight blue icing. There were also chips and dip, and onigiri and some snacks from a convenience store._

_The two boys watched her reactions of the party before they had even started. Both felt a strange sense of nervousness, as if they wanted to be accepted by this girl. _

_And suddenly, a wide grin grew on Amu's face. She was overjoyed. This, even though it hadn't started yet, was the best party she had ever received. There was integrity to it, a pinch of love and lots of hard work, and here they were… Her future, dare she say it? Friends._

_Her first real friends. _

_It was better than anything she could have imagined._

_Better than the parties on TV._

_Better than anything in the world._

_She drew both into a hug, "Thank you! Thank you! Really, it's the best party I've ever gotten!"_

_Both softened at her words, and Kukai grinned like a clown._

"_It hasn't even started yet!" He yelled, and it echoed, as he climbed on stage. _

_He jogged backstage and got an electric guitar. _

"_Sit, sit! I'm going to start with a song I wrote…"_

"_For his darling Utau…" Nagi whispered to Amu._

"_For my darling Utau…"_

"_Who he's never spoken a word to!" Nagi whispered to Amu, generating a laugh from both and a glare from Kukai._

"_I heard that! We've spoken before!"_

"_When she asked you what to order at the café we go to!" Nagi rolled his eyes._

"_So? That counts! One day I even asked her about the weather!"_

"_And that was when it was snowing…" Nagi murmured to Amu._

"_So? She said it was cold!"_

"_You're quite the charmer, Kukai." Amu said, generating a blush from him and belly-laughter from Nagi. _

"_Yeah! Well, I bet you couldn't do any better!" _

"_I'll take you up on that as soon as my party is over." Amu said._

"_I like her- she's clever! You did a great job making her stay, Kukai!"_

"_**We**__ did a good job making her stay. And I'm kinda starting to regret it…_

"_Because she's making you look bad?"_

"_Because I'm gonna rock your socks off!" Kukai shouted into the microphone, as he grabbed something from behind the karaoke machine, plugged it in, and digged his phone out of his pocket._

_It's called, "Accidentally in Love!"_

"_With a girl who he hasn't talked to!" Nagi whispered, making them both cover their mouths and not laugh._

_He started playing guitar, and drums sounded in the background. He said in the microphone, "Everything in this song is all me… I'm a master of instruments and voice recordings. I have a friend… With connections." At this he smiled, and Nagi smiled, as if there was a secret joke in between them._

_He kept playing his guitar, and the drums set a beat that Amu was already moving to. It was a catchy, somewhat easy beat, and his strumming was put together so finely.. _

_He kept repeating the same chords with the drums, and as he repeated them one last time, he went up to the higher chords to introduce his lyrics. The chords were smoothly moved, and Kukai was skilled. It already fit together so perfectly, and Amu hadn't even heard the music yet._

_The drums lightly pounded, to introduce the lyrics, and Kukai sang, "So she said what's the problem, baby?"_

_The drum beat continued at a medium speeded one-two-one, as he said the lyrics, keeping the time and closing his eyes._

_He took a pause, and smiled, even if his eyes were closed, and sang, "What's the problem I don't know,"_

_And that's where he opened his eyes and shrugged, "Well, maybe I'm in love" and his voice repeated "love" in the recording._

"_Think about it, every time I think about it," He blushed, but his voice didn't change, and he kept strumming his guitar, even though a pre-recorded bass strummed with him._

_He took a noticeable breath, "Can't stop thinkin' 'bout it"- this is where the guitar playing changed a bit, and a long strum introduced the next lyrics._

"_How much longer will it take to cure this?" He was moving his body to the lyrics now, and singing with a bit of frustration._

_And then he smiled- "Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love" And another "love" echoed in the background music._

"_Makes me wanna turn around and face me" with this, he turned around 360 degrees, clear and ready to sing the next lyrics._

_He strummed a second more than sang, "But I don't know nothin' bout love" is where he looked and sang somewhat conflicted, as if he was sad to have no experience._

"_Ah-a!" Is where he played faster, and Nagi and I knew we were approaching the chorus._

"_Come on, Come on!" His guitar emphasized the words, and he smiled, as if inviting a person who was only there in his imagination._

"_Turn a little faster!" He turned again at this, faster than he had before, and as if he was being twirled by the imaginary girl unknown to Amu._

"_Come on, Come on!" His guitar again stressed his words, as if inviting her more pleadingly._

"_The world will follow after!" He sang as if he was reassuring her that nothing could go wrong with being with him._

"_Come on, Come on!"The guitar again brought attention to the words, as if he was slightly frustrated that the imaginary girl wouldn't accept his invite._

_And then he smiled a sad smile, "Because everybody's after… Love…" Love was apart from all the other words and he sang lovingly and grooving to his own music as if to impress a spirit only existing in his mind._

_He strummed his guitar a couple more times._

"_So I said-_

_And the door slammed open. "All right, men! I have arrived!"A hoity-toity voice shoved its way through the hall, bringing the music to a grinding halt._

"_Shit, Rima! Is it really important enough that you can't wait until AFTER the song?" Kukai asked in an annoyed fashion._

_Amu turned to Nagi, unsure of what to think of such a situation. _

"_Shit, it's my girlfriend! I forgot to call her tonight! Man… I am SO dead!" Nagi hissed, as he began to curse his existence._

"_That's your _girlfriend?_" Amu asked._

**Okay you guys! I know you have questions about the past Nagi/Rima relationship. And Ikuto/Amu. AND Kukai/Utau. In the coming chapters, I swear I will answer them! (I know, I know… Y'all are having a fit because present Nagi doesn't recognize her…. Whatever. I'LL EXPLAIN IT WHEN IT COMES! Review, pretty please?**


	12. Chapter 11: An Accidental Turn of Events

**Time to get down to business! Thanks for all those who reviewed and made amazing comments… And thanks to the people that read! There's a lot I want to cover in this chapter, and I will continue with writing about the past (since it's so important) for awhile. Sorry I'm abandoning everyone in the present, but I swear I'll get back to them! Anyway, I own nothing except my plot, and my band names! Sorry this took so long… Finals, then I went to Spain for two weeks… I got back two days ago, and I was like, "Ugh, jet lag. Can't write." And today it was, "Gotta write fanfics!" Okay. RANT OVER.**

**Chapter 11**

"_Nagi," the petite girl, with the long blonde hair approached his chair, and gave him a light kiss on the lips. "How are you?"She was the epitome of beauty in a small package. She was so ladylike, so…_

"_Good," Nagi answered, smiling sweetly and honestly._

_And suddenly, faster than Amu's eyes could follow, the little girl grabbed a fistful of his long, purple hair and began pulling it. His head jerked back, and she began screaming so loud it echoed in the large ballroom._

"_NAGIHIKO! YOU SWORE TO GOD AND BACK THAT YOU WOULD CALL ME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, AND WHEN I COME HERE, YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO A GIRL I DON'T EVEN KNOW, AND IS SHE MY RIVAL? NAGIHIKO, YOU BETTER ANSWER ME THIS SECOND OR-_

_Nagi managed to spin her around, tip her like they were dancing, and kiss her. "Rima, you've got nothing to worry about. She's staying here for awhile, and she's not your rival. She's a friend." Somehow, they had already become friends._

_The little girl turned red and seemed to melt in his embrace, but then smacked his hands off._

"_Don't be like that," he smugly got in her face more, as a boyfriend teasing his girlfriend. "She's not even my type!"_

_Her stare turned cold. "What is your type?" _

_He wrapped his arms around her and said, "You. Rima Mashiro is my one and only type."_

_She softened, and hugged him back. She mumbled something in his ear, but he only laughed. _

"_What was that? I didn't seem to hear you."_

"_You know what I said, you purple freak."_

_Amu giggled to herself at their scene. For a second, she wished she could have a relationship like that, and then giggled for she knew she could never have something so beautiful like that. The silliness of her even suggesting it was laughable._

_It was so laughable, it was pitiful._

"_Oh, Rima. It's her birthday today."_

"_NAGIHIKO, YOU MADE ME MAKE A SCENE AT SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?" She began tugging at his hair again, but it didn't seem to hurt him. All he could do is laugh._

"_Baby, you did that all yourself."_

"_Freak!"_

"_Clown."_

"_PURPLE!"_

"_Shorty."_

_She somehow jumped on his back, and began hitting him. "Nagihiko, I swear to god you better have gotten that girl a present! You can't ruin someone's party-_

_He just laughed._

"_You guys! Get a room! You can't just flaunt your couple-dom where I can see it! I'm painfully in love here!" Kukai's voice managed to get them to stop. It was if the couple had forgotten that Amu and Kukai still existed. _

"_Yeah, sorry Kukai." Nagi apologized, as Rima hid behind him, slowly putting her arms around his waist._

"_Hey Amu, you single?" Kukai asked, and then turned a shade of pink. "Well, not that I care, but I was asking and..."_

"_Yeah, I'm forever available." Amu joked. _

"_That would be funny if it wasn't serious! Me and you, Amu! We're in the single alliance!" _

_Rima rolled her eyes. "Happy Birthday, Amu."_

"_Thanks, Rima." Amu smiled towards her._

_Suddenly, her phone rang with the funny "Bala-Bala-Bala-Bala-Balance! Bala-Bala-Bala-Balance!" _

"_Excuse me, I have to take this." She walked into the bathroom, and shut the door._

"_Your girlfriend seems nice," Amu said. She was somewhat scared of her, though._

"_She's amazing." Nagi said. "She's really the only one that can stand up to me, and I'm the only one who can give her a healthy dose of reality."_

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah! Rima's a pain in my butt! Every time she comes I have to buy whatever she wants, and…_

"_I HEARD THAT, SOUMA KUKAI!" Rima screams as she pops her head out of the bathroom. "I don't get why you're Nagi's friend, either!"_

_She slams the door again._

_Kukai pouts. "Whatever. Can I finish my song?" _

_Nagi and Amu looked at each other and smiled. "Go ahead, Kukai."_

"_It's pretty good, though. I want to hear the rest of it!" Amu said._

"_See, Nagi? She respects _**talent. I am talented." **_Kukai annunciated the word and Nagi rolled his eyes._

"_I never said you weren't. But this song is better than the others."_

_Kukai didn't seem to hear, but he turned on the machine again, and slung the guitar into his hands again- for he had never taken it off._

_The music starts again, and after cymbal beats and a bass scale he sings, "So I said I'm a snowball runnin'" there were two claps, and he continued._

"_Runnin' down into the spring that's coming" Kukai's foot was tapping, and he was getting back into the song. There was a pause, "All this love" Love was emphasized the tiniest bit, but he kept going._

_There were two drum beats, "Meltin' under blue skies, meltin' out" he closed his eyes and seemed to feel, and Amu and Nagi felt themselves feeling too. _

"_Sunlight shimmerin' love" He smiled, but his eyes were still closed. "Sunlight" was emphasized, and the verse was echoed in the tape and somewhat made it stronger._

_After two or three chords on the guitar, he opened his eyes and looked out into the distance, "Well baby I surrender to the"_

"_Strawberry ice cream" The three words were emphasized, and while the bass played, Kukai played the guitar and without using any words, managed to annunciate the phrase with the music._

"_Never ever will this love," Love again was annunciated, he was shaking his head._

"_Well I didn't mean to do it," Here, he shrugged, as if he really didn't mean to fall in love. _

"_But there's no escaping your love, Ah-aa!"He was grooving now, completely into it, looking through us, and looking for the girl he was singing to._

"_These lines of lightning mean we're never alone," At first it seemed random that such a verse existed in the song and that "never" had been annunciated. But Kukai seemed to be trying to tell this girl that she wasn't alone, that she had him. The drums annunciated this verse, and went out of their one-two-one beat. "Never alone," it was said again, separated from the song, and yet intertwined. "No, No!"The second "no" was a note higher than the first, but before anyone had any time to think, the song moved on._

"_Come on, come on," the guitar annunciated these words, "move a little closer" He seemed to be dancing, moving his torso, to one side- as if telling her it was okay to be close._

"_Come on, come on," the guitar again annunciated these words, "I wanna hear you whisper" Here, "wanna" seemed to be stretched out a bit, and he winked._

"_Come on, come on," the guitar annunciated the repeated chorus, "settle down inside my…" his eyes were closed again, probably imagining that he was singing the song to her, and not to his friends. _

"_Love," Kukai sang, and he did again in the recording, giving the word strength._

"_Ah-aa!" He strummed his guitar hard._

"_Come on, come on," the guitar spoke the lyrics, "jump a little higher!" In these lyrics, "jump" had been annunciated, and the whole phrase had been a higher note than usual. But he jumped as high as he could go; looking now, out in the distance. He seemed to be paying no mind to Amu or Nagi._

"_Come on, Come on" the words were rushed this time so they could probably go with the next few words. "If you feel a little lighter" The word "lighter" was stretched out the tiniest bit._

"_Come on, Come on," the words were back at their original speed, with the guitar and the drums chiming in. "You were once upon a time in…" the phrase was the tiniest bit slower, but they gave in to the word, "Love," which was stretched out and which the music emphasized._

_With one drum beat, it introduced the next thought, "We're accidentally in love," the verse seemed to be spoken instead of sung, on a seemingly sadder note. The drum beat slowed, and the guitar strummed different chords, complimenting the words._

_A piano chimed in, "Accidentally in love,"_

"_Accidentally in love," The word "love" this time was stretched out. The piano gave the song a sadder tone as he repeated the words, and continued on. It seemed as if the word "accidentally" had a different meaning here, as if it were more of a sad, one-sided love. _

"_Accidentally in love." Here, it was more of a statement than a verse, and he closed his eyes again, feeling the sadness of the song. The piano was still playing, making it even sadder._

"_Accidentally in love," Again, "love" was stretched out, as if it were introducing something._

"_Accidentally in love!" The piano stopped, and Kukai cheered up, and sang it with the usual gusto. The guitar went back to the chords that it had started with: and the drums did the same. It was like Kukai was saying, "Enough with this sad shit. Let's be happy! Love is great!" _

"_Accidentally in love," It was a pattern: "love" was again annunciated._

"_Accidentally in love!" It was a happier note, an almost bittersweet sort of thing._

"_Accidentally in love," His love was again stretched out, and it seemed to be introducing something. _

"_Accidentally…." He led the audience on, and was already back to grooving to the song. _

"_I'm in love!" He sang, and he echoed in the recording, "I'm in love!" It wasn't a statement, it was an anthem. The guitar was raging._

"_I'm in love!" He sang again, seeming to chant the phrase. "I'm in love!" went the recording right after he seemed to chant it._

"_I'm in love!" He repeated for the third time, and it echoed, "I'm in love!" It was as if he was finally coming to terms of what love was: sad, bittersweet, happy. _

"_Accidentally!" It was more of saying he didn't mean to fall in love, he just did._

"_I'm in love!" He repeated again, announcing his state of mind, and it echoed in the recording, "I'm in love!"_

_For the fifth time, "I'm in love!" He seemed to be chanting the magic words, latching so much of his feelings on that phrase. All the insecurities, all the bittersweet and happy moments that came when he thought about his day in bed, every time his head hit the pillow… How he dreamed of her and this working out. "I'm in love!" the recording repeated._

"_I'm in love!" This time, everyone wanted to sing along. The anthem was so easy, something everyone had either dreamed or experienced… It was easy to relate to all the feelings, to everything Kukai seemed to be going through. "I'm in love!"_

"_Accidentally," This time, it seemed to be leading to something else, another road of love._

"_Come on, come on!" The guitar annunciated the phrase. "Spin a little tighter!" Here, "spin" was stretched out a bit, and at the end of the word, it was sung on a higher note._

"_Come on, come on!" The words were rushed again- it was like Kukai was asking her to dance, fast, so he wouldn't say something he regretted or something stupid. "And the world's a little brighter!" As if he was spinning her already, and looking at her glow, her blonde hair…_

"_Come on, come on!" The guitar and the music were annunciating his impatience. "Just get yourself inside my," Here the words were spoken instead of sung, and there was a pause, making Amu and Nagi lean forward and listen to what Kukai was saying._

"_Love," The "o" was a higher note, and both he and the recording were singing in sync. It was as if asking for her answer to his confession._

"_I'm in love." It was a statement that seemed to be said and sung at the same time, and with the last strum of the guitar, the song was over. _

_It jolted Kukai out of his feelings, and he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. Had they liked it? Was it good? Did he convey what he wanted to? _

_At first, Nagi and Amu were both shocked- they had been so immersed in Kukai and what he wsy __**saying**__ that nothing else had mattered. _

_It was refreshing, in a sort of way._

_Amu was the one that clapped first, and then Nagi; it became a storm of support for Kukai, and a smile light his face._

"_Not bad, Souma." Rima had a smile on her face, and Kukai took it as acceptance of him. He bowed, and said, "Thank you! Thank you, Tokyo! I'll be here all week!"_

_For the heck of it, Amu gave a load cheer. After everything she had been through, the song was an anthem for her new friend, and she wanted to support him._

_Nagi at first gave her a strange look, raising his eyebrow slightly. And then, Rima elbowed him in the stomach, and suddenly, they were all cheering for Kukai… Supporting him._

_Accepting his feelings. _

_Kukai had never felt better in his life. He had finally shown a part of himself he had kept under wraps for a long time. He wasn't just a skater and soccer boy- he was a loving guy._

_He was a singer._

_And he had _rocked.

_He smiled harder than he had in his life. And his friends had liked that part of him._

_He was elated. The only thing that would make this night better would be seeing Utau- but that was impossible. She didn't know he worked and lived here._

_But, he was Kukai. He had written a love song. He could do a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g._

"_Hey guys, I got a great idea!"_

_-x-_

"_Why are we standing in front of a closed café, in the middle of the night, during a cold, rainy night?" Rima seemed to be annoyed, but she was just curious._

"_Kukai, isn't this where Utau works- Kukai?"Nagi turned to his best friend, who seemed to be wallowing and hitting the glass, as if he willed it to open._

"_I forgot they closed early on Sundays!" He screamed, holding his head._

"_Kukai, if it makes you feel better, you can always see her tomorrow." Amu put her hand on his shoulder, and smiled._

"_But I have to see her today~ If I don't, I'll lose all my nerve!" He was wilting, and seeming to get paler by the second._

"_Hm," Amu had to think fast: she needed to salvage the situation. "Well, you and I had a deal. I'll talk to her tomorrow, okay?"_

_He seemed to brighten. "But you don't know Utau, and how will…_

_Amu simply smirked. "Oh, don't worry. Does she like competitions?"_

"_She loves them, why-_

"_Then you don't have to worry. Let's go back to the hotel, 'cause I have a song to sing."_

_She walked off, like a model, and she turned around to her posse. "Well, are you guys coming?"_

"_So cool!" Kukai shouted, as he pumped his fist in the air. Rima and Nagi exchanged a glance, and both were thinking the same thing: _this person was incredibly interesting.

_But just for the heck of it, they followed. Because if a show was to come, what would stop them from watching?_

_-X-_

_Ikuto hated the rain. Sure, he was accustomed to it, yet at the same time, the rain just reminded him of being alone, and cold._

_Abandoned._

_Even with his leather jacket and jeans sticking tightly to his muscles, he was uncomfortable in his own skin. It was something that could have easily torn right off, and was making him uneasy. _

_His violin was safe, but he was just wet, and that left a bad taste in his mouth. But he had walked away from yet another location, and was wandering back to the hotel. _

_Again. The hotel always waited for him, no matter where he went. His two best friends would always welcome him back, no matter the years that passed. In this world, they were the only ones that hadn't changed; the only people who wouldn't abandon him to other, better affairs. He inhaled, already smelling the familiar scent of his room, with one of the greatest views of Tokyo in the city. It was his oasis, where his two best friends would stay up with him late into the night and listen to his music and talk about their dreams, about the places he traveled._

_No matter where he wandered, he was still as empty as that day. Nothing could make him feel better. He always immersed himself in a new experience, hiding the fact that though he was the guy most women strived to win, he couldn't give them what they wanted._

_He would never be enough… So alone he wandered the alleys, playing his violin, trying to fill the void that would never be filled._

_A sin that would never be erased._

_He seemed to be able to play around, no strings attached. But no woman, no lovemaking, no feelings could ever make him forget what he could never forget._

_So he would end up leaving them._

_He couldn't have any sort of friendship with the species called woman, because they would fall for him, again and again, and just remind him how short he fell to their expectations._

"You're so cold, Ikuto. You're like the rain, striving to hold onto something: and yet every time they want to hold on to you, you slip away. You're a monster, using people like that. You complain that you fall short of my expectations, but I'm the one who falls short to yours. No one will be able to open up to you if you don't let them in."

_The words made Ikuto shiver. He stuffed his hands even further into his pockets, and felt the sensation that he always felt in the rain: raw, fake, shallow, and empty. No matter what farce he put up, the rain always cleansed him, and he was about as deep as a puddle on the sidewalk. He wanted to curse it, to tell it to leave him alone, to let him be! He didn't want to be reminded about how empty he was, he already knew! He didn't need it! Every night, before he would fall asleep, he would always have fantasies about what it would be like, for just one moment… To have someone to hold unto him, to love him, to welcome him back when he came in from the rain, to laugh in the middle of the night over coffee for no reason…_

_He blew his midnight blue hair that was sticking to his face. Such thoughts were stupid, not to mention impossible. His emotions yearned for something his logic knew would never happen._

_He was in love with a person that didn't even exist. A fantasy._

_Who would ever fall in love with him? Who would be brave enough to scale his walls, to dodge the booby traps, to look into his eyes and actually see what he was trying to say… What girl would ever ignore what he was saying, and listen to what his heart was yearning for?_

_No one like that, no one in this world full of people would ever do that._

_Wasn't it funny?_

_And Ikuto cried._

**That's it! This is the chapter~ I told you guys that the past was important! This is why you listen to the author!**

**Response to **AmuxIkuto foeva:

**Amu was in a gang. Ran, Miki, Su, and Dia were part of it. Amu got out of it because, as I wrote in a previous chapter, they were supposed to keep the peace of the gangs, and yet they were funding an all-out gang war.**

**They beat her up, except for Su, who really liked Amu. Amu had a debt to her.**

**The identity of the man in the grey hoodie is yet to be revealed. It'll be revealed with time, I promise. **

**If you review, I'll respond! Get to it, y'all!**


	13. Chapter 12: Watch Me Shine

**Wow, another chapter already! Inspiration is just hitting me over the head with her love-hammer! Okay, more past coverage. This chapter, and Amu's song, was one I designed an incredibly long time ago and I'm super excited to finally write! I'm glad no one has complained about my story being awful or anything. I'm so glad you guys like it! *tears up* I own nothing but my plot, the way I cover the songs, and my band names! MY IDEAS. Okay, RANT OVER.**

**Chapter 12**

_Amu took in a deep breath. She had never performed, per se, in front of people. She had only sung in a studio, one that she had gotten for a fourteenth birthday present. It was one of the only good parts of that stupid house._

_A place where she could be Amu, not Amu _Hinamori: _a place she could shine and write without the pressures of being great, and vent._

_So it was totally different to see people's reactions to what she spent hours writing and editing. She was kind of nervous, and at the same time excited. Could she show them what had been hidden so long from others, could she show them that part of herself that she was still a bit unsure of? Could she prove that it wasn't just music that she wrote- it was a message to everyone that had told her she couldn't, that showed how powerful she could really be, on stage?_

_Yes. _

_Kukai had showed her that part of himself that was more serious, a part of himself that he was raising with all his heart, toiling for that happy ending. She was inspired by him to be confident in who she was and what she could do._

_She hadn't learned how to unlock her troubled heart to sing, for nothing. She hadn't gone through that entire struggle, through the entire rebellion, for nothing. She even learned various forms of dance! Nothing could really stop her now. She was too far in this, too far into her own dreams and desires. _

_She had to show people that part of herself, and if there were critics, who cared? She had to do what she had to do._

_And she told herself not to doubt, that her new friends would support her._

_Her heart was sounding in her ears, and she had just changed, out of that hoodie, into jeans, a graphic tee, and her combat boot heels; but to add to it, she had a simple, black fedora. She would and could do this. She would sing her confidence; she could do this, as she had before in her studio._

_All she had to do is listen to her music, remember her hard work, and just sing. _

_So why was she so nervous?_

_She supposed it was that she wanted all of them to like her, and her song._

_She took a breath, and popped her head out from one of the wings of the stage. "Hey Kukai, is it okay if I borrow your electric guitar for this song?"_

_Kukai simply shrugged and said, "Sure, whatever. I don't really care. So, you say you wrote this song?"_

_Amu beamed. "Yeah. Oh, and do you have a punching bag?"_

_Kukai's eyebrows furrowed. "We keep it backstage… Why do you-_

"_Thanks!"Right as Amu was about to ask where it was, she spotted it. It was a simple, not new, but certainly not beaten, punching bag. It was on a metal stand, chains holding it up to the top which connected to the base. She had no idea until this moment what her choreography would be, but then she decided she knew some of it already. And, after all, the best part about choreography was _feeling _the music, so she would. She would dance to her song._

_She clopped to the other side of the stage, and right as she picked the punching bag up, Nagi's voice sounded to her, "Hey, do you need help with that? Kukai and I could help."_

_But Amu had already picked up the bag and the stand, and moved it to the center of the stage. "Thanks, but I got it."_

_Now that, in itself, was a sort of foreshadowing to what she could do by herself. Nagi and Kukai had once tried to move the bag on their own, and nothing good had come out of it. Who was this girl that she could do things like lift a thing they both couldn't lift, by herself? But before they had time to think, she turned on the music, and went into the wings again._

_The guitar was left on its stand, a thing that supported its curves and neck, with a little space at the top. Kukai and Nagi were both confused. Hadn't she said that she'd like to borrow it? And the microphone was close to the guitar, and to the audience's right, was the punching bag._

_The music began as a somewhat gypsy-like sound, and Amu came out, swaying her hips and gracefully turning her wrists like she was some kind of Bollywood dancer. There was a subtle shaker throughout._

_At this moment, both boys and Rima actually looked, and _saw _how attractive she really was. She wasn't that tall, maybe 5'4, but her appearance in those clothes made her look taller, and so much more mature than they ever thought she was. She was of a different caliber, they all thought._

_She was definitely different. There were claps in the musical parts, so that it would get one into the mood of the song. They were steady, subtle, but still there._

_She gracefully danced towards the guitar, and in one fluid motion, dropped it on herself, and strummed._

"_Mm-hmyah" her voice was completely different from the way she spoke: it was seductive, rich, and fierce. Sure, she was plenty fierce on her own, but this was a whole different level._

_There was a couple of seconds of her just swaying her hips and head to the music. All eyes were on her, and it was like the pause was meant to generate attention, so they would all focus on her._

_Unknown and silent to everyone else, a new pair of eyes, this time a midnight blue, was watching her. He had entered into the hotel expecting very much the same as usual, but with this concert, all was about to change forever._

_There were several claps to the beat to get the audience ready for what was coming next. She then strummed again, and though the music was very gypsy like, it had a taste of rock and it was a mix that if one heard of it, they would think it would never work out. But they would be dreadfully wrong- this song was already ingenious, and they hadn't heard more than thirty seconds of it._

_Milliseconds after the strum had ended, the lyrics flowed out of her mouth with a definite fierceness and seductiveness that all in the room could never imagine it was possible. _

"_I'm not," she looked up from her fingers, a definite fire in her eye. "Your average type of girl," her fedora tipped over her eyes here, and it was definite to all that she was speaking the absolute truth. Something was off about her, something was eye-catching. Something was definitely wrong, but none could spot it because they were so entranced by her. She had already woven a seductive spell, and even Rima, who was a woman of the same species as Amu, was caught in it. She had already put the guitar back in the stand, and was walking, not rushing in any way, towards the punching bag. The music sounded like there was a little more beat-box from a machine. It was a definite, cool sound.._

"_I'm gonna show the world," there was a subtle emphasis towards these words, as if she definitely wanted to show the world, but maybe a certain person in particular. _

"_The strength in me that sometimes they can't see," with these words, she turned towards the punching bag- not completely as to not see her face, but just enough so that she was facing it as an enemy. _

"_I'm," her head made a circular motion, one that was preparing for a fight, and stretching the neck muscles. She made no move other than that, but subtly, her hand was reaching towards her fedora. She didn't look away from said enemy._

"_About to switch my style," with these words, her fedora was taken off her head and thrown, like a Frisbee, behind her, only to land right on the guitar stand, right on the supporting mechanism that held the neck. She was still looking at the enemy._

"_And soon things might get wild," she raised her fists to the typical self-defense style, and she smirked. It was evil, it was fierce, and just a tad sexy. What was going through her mind, it was impossible to tell- she was just imagining the bag as a strong enemy. Her voice was strong and oh-so rich._

"_But I will prove that I can conquer anything!" With every two or three words, a right, a left, or a roundhouse landed on the bag, lurching in every direction she hit. It was an amazing feat, not because she was so strong, but the fact that she was doing it _bare-handed_, which even talented boxers could not do. It was against safety, it was against all the foundations of everything. Her voice was full of defiance, rich and silky._

_She was definitely something else._

_She stopped in a fluid motion, not awkwardly stopping her attack, but spinning again towards center stage, the microphone in hand. _

_When did that get there? They all asked themselves, but could not be distracted a second longer for fear that they would miss her magnificent show._

"_So from my head to toe," the bass was different here, introducing something new, and the recording and Amu sang in such unison you would think that the lyrics were stronger all on their own. She annunciated "head" with a point to her head, and a line to annunciate "toe." She seemed to be untouchable- something people could admire from a distance but not touch. _

"_I'm taking full control," she sang, and the recording sang in perfect unison. The bass was still in its different stage, instead of subtle as it had for the introduction: it was annunciating each word._

"_I'll make it on my own this time," the next verse came after a moment, and the bass was still annunciating each word. "Time" was stretched out, clearly introducing something new. After the verse, blending in with the stretching of "time" was a sort of indescribable sound: it was like she had moved a record and the sound was a one-two-one fast beat._

_Here, she leaned into the microphone and whispered seductively, "Better watch me shine."_

_And that's when the blue-eyed boy decided he was interested. _

**Okay, that was short. I KNOW IT WAS. I just couldn't write the rest of her song in this chapter, because the aftermath was going to take forever to write, AND UGH. Okay, I stopped it there. Review, please. They make me happy, and I'm thinking of BLACKMAILING you guys to do so if you don't. NO MORE SILENT READERS. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. Also, I drew a cover for this story, but the image thing is stupid and cut it out, so I uploaded a new one, and IT WON'T STICK TO THIS STORY. **

**Response TIME! **

**BlackWolfe: Spain was amazing. I saw a lot of stuff, ate, and then when I got back to the US, I started my job! Hurray money! I went to Madrid and Barcelona, and since I speak fluent Spanish with my mom, everything was good. My dad understands more than he speaks.**

**Panda123Otaku: I know I never update. YOU CAN'T RUSH GENIUS. Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.**

**Tamsyn9902 .uk: Hahaha, no ending for you. I don't believe in giving endings. And as I said before, this either is going to get a sequel, or just be a really, long-ass fanfic. I'm thinking the second one. SEQUEL, WE'LL SEE. It's just the joy in seeing the journey, seeing the secrets revealed little by little, that and annoying the reader with my mysteries is what I like. I'm sorry I am torturing you.**

**BlueMonkeyDoll: You thought this was going to be shallow? No, no, and no. Battle of the Bands is too good of an idea for that. That, and I enjoy writing darkness. Poor Amu, man. No, worse is IKUTO. GOD I'M SORRY, DUDE. But what needs to be done for the plot, must be done for the plot.**

**Also: I'm writing a Princess Tutu fanfic. For those who don't know Tutu, it's awesome. Though the name is like, "Ugh, I'm NOT watching that," it's very good and explores very deep subjects and has a lot of darkness. It also abides by the 5-episode rule that most REALLY good animes abide. It means by the 5****th**** episode, you'll be like, I AM A FAN. The first season is kinda cliché, but it sets up the awesome, dark, and sinister season 2. DON'T READ THE MANGA, IT'S TEN CHAPTERS OF AWFUL. THE ANIME WAS MADE FIRST. **

**P.S.: I know what you're thinking. DALMATIAN, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE WITH MORE STORIES! HOW COULD YOU? …And yet, I still am. I'm halfway done with The Game's new chapter, (written in a different style, mind you. To keep the original author's ideas) and I'm almost through with the TUTU chapter. **


	14. Chapter 13: The End is Near

**Okay, so here's the new chapter. Is this story getting better as it goes? Hopefully. Thanks to all who reviewed and took time to write to me. Everything is appreciated, and I will keep responding to reviews. WANT A RESPONSE? REVIEW. I own nothing except my plot, my band names, how I cover my songs, and the way I split them. Everything else is not mine. Not the songs, not the characters. Yay. On with the chapter.**

**Chapter 13**

_Here, she leaned into the microphone and whispered seductively, "Better watch me shine."_

_And that's when the blue-eyed boy decided he was interested. _

"_Better watch out," She was again at the punching bag, annunciating "out." She was in a standard boxing position- hands in front of her face, shifting side to side and on her toes, ready for the fight. "Going for the knockout," it was only a momentary pause, but it made all the difference. With that verse, with that "out," a strong left hook landed on the bag, and if it were human, it would've knocked the air out of him… Or truly been knocked out. The hook was fast, as if she had carried out her warning._

_There was a gypsy chord, reminding her audience that even though she was tough, she was also seductive and beautiful. It was momentary, it was subtle, but it was there._

"_And I won't stop," Another hit, this time an uppercut to the bag, lurching it up. "'Til I'm on top now," the pause was again little, but she had planted her foot into the bag and in one motion was on top of the bag._

"_Not gonna give up," She sang, as though she wasn't going to stop. As if she would continue to mesmerize the audience. She was sitting on top of the bag, 'til I get what's mine," The entire verse was not only annunciated with her voice, but the music as well. She was fighting for what was hers- a right to live the life she wanted, a life that she didn't have to be a puppet on a stage. The "mine" was stretched out by the recording, and a guitar strummed in accompaniment. She was tough, but she was seductive as well. They were two parts of the same whole._

_At the end of that verse, she gracefully jumped off the bag and slid as she reached the ground. _

"_Better check that, I'm about to upset," Was the phrase she sung, that at first seemed a bit out of place. But then, it was understood: "look at me," she was saying. "Look at what I can accomplish."As she slid, it phased into a 360 degree turn, with full dancing capability._

"_And I'm hot now," She danced, her palm pointed towards herself, hovering over her torso and sliding fast over the air over it. "So you better step back," "Back" was annunciated, and as this verse was sung, her palm turned towards the audience, and both palms were right next to her chest, and as she extended as to push someone back, her lower body seemed to obey, and it was like she was in front of the person she had just pushed. "Yeah!" was sung in the recording, so perfect and strong._

"_I'm taking over," She sang with a smirk, her chin almost meeting her chest, looking down on her audience. But she wasn't looking at them: she was looking at her enemy. It was as if they weren't even there. It was no surprise that Amu was imagining her father, her archnemisis, but no one would know. No one would ever know why no matter how angry she got; she never had that fire in her eyes, that ferocity…_

"_So watch me shine." It was more of an exclamation, more of giving herself a verbal spotlight. She planted one foot, then the next, as she sang the song. She was implanting herself in their lives, but they just didn't know it yet. The recording sang the verse just a millisecond less, but it didn't seem like a mistake. It was on purpose: telling the audience, and her sworn enemy to watch her climb up into glory._

_The gypsy music played again, and she moved her hips and again turned her wrists in a very Bollywood-like dance. She was also moving towards the guitar again. It was very subtle, very dance-like, though. "Uh-huh yeah." Her eyes were closed, but she was still dancing swiftly but gracefully. _

_The gypsy music kept playing, and the recording whispered, "Watch me." It was ever-so subtle, but it was leading the audience to a broader, brighter view of her. "Yeah."_

_The recording played a guitar chord, and then she sang, "So," and strummed Kukai's guitar. She was definitely introducing something more, and she slipped the guitar around her body. _

_-x-_

**Amu's POV**

No, no no! The one thing I cannot stand is having dreams of the past. The past is the only sacred thing I have left… I can't bear to think of it… So happy, so carefree.

Well, not _exactly _carefree. But as carefree as it could, and would, ever get. My eyes flutter open, and I feel Ikuto's hand in mine. I almost squeeze it, and yet…

It would call attention to me being awake. I'm not supposed to be awake. Not yet. But I couldn't stand the feeling of my dreams, the feeling of love…

I have to stop myself from crying. The longing is starting to mess me up. His chest, his body, his hair, his eyes, his scent… Pictures of Ikuto always show up in my head. God, we had gone all the way. He was always telling me, under the covers, how we would always be together. Always.

And I knew it would never last, but how I wished it could. I wish I could always love him, no, I'd always do that; I want to stay with him. And yet, the deadline comes ever closer. September starts tomorrow. October 2012. Only two months until I go back to the House.

Where I will be imprisoned for the rest of my life. Never touching, never talking, and never seeing Ikuto again. Never seeing my friends again. If I just slept forever, I wouldn't leave the hospital and Ikuto…

No, Amu. He'd be bonded to you no matter what. You can't tie him down like this- if you died, you have to let him be happy.

If you leave him… The tears started to fall. I didn't want to leave him, I didn't want to leave _any of them _behind. But, I had stalled. I had made a deal already.

I had no more chips to bargain with.

No more chips.

No more hope.

It, he, was so beautiful, our time together extraordinary, and I only had a little time left. Ikuto would fight tooth and nail for me, but he was learning the truth now.

Or what little of it still existed.

It was of crucial importance the videos don't get into **his** hands. He would destroy them…My only tie to Nadeshiko. I couldn't, wouldn't, let him win this.

But the fight had been going on for so long, and I had exhausted all my resources… There was nothing left anymore.

_Suu… _Would she be disappointed in me now?

The fighter who was always the last one standing, the most courageous, the most experienced… The one who always made a comeback with her common sense and fighting skills… Would she be disappointed that I'm giving up now?

_I know for sure I am. _

I had no one anymore. This is my last year of freedom. And if I tell anyone, they'll all die.

"_It's your big day!"_

No.

"_Are you ready, Utau? Are you ready, Amu?"_

__I looked at Ikuto's silhouette as he watched the TV with Kukai. Their full attention was captured by it. The TV's glow was intoxicating, yet at the same time nauseating. I knew what was about to happen.

They were at the end already. More tears slid down my face. So he _had_ gotten some of the videos, hadn't he? But the one of the most important ones, he had somehow gone over.

It was all starting to end.

They'll know soon. Then, the charade will end.

I'm so tired.

So, so tired.

The pain became apparent now. But it was nothing compared to my longing, my pain that I had carried on my back for too long.

My pain was insufferable, and being with Ikuto had made it seem to go away, but **he **_**was right**_: no one could save me now.

It was too late.

And my eyes fluttered shut. I had to sleep more. I'm so tired.

So tired.

So lonely.

-x-

**Done. I originally wanted this chapter to go differently, but I decided this was better. More past coverage after this chapter! Answers.**

FullMoonSpirit79: ** You can be a fan. :D **

BlackWolfe**: I'm a cashier at my grocery store! I know, Ikuto is introduced to Amu in the past here, and there'll be more of him!**

BlueMonkeyDoll : **Well, Ikuto isn't creepy. He just happens to walk in on a concert. I love darkness. I haven't even gotten to Grey Hoodie Man's full evil potential of evil yet!**

yamiduke13 : **Why thank you!****It actually takes quite a bit of time.**

SakuraBlossom0989: **Thanks. I always like it when people like my stories. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the past and present chapters. This is going to start getting deeper and deeper into Amu's past, and how everything escalated. **


	15. Important Information and a Preview

**Dear Wonderful followers of my story:**

**I have slipped into a pretty bad depression. You might have guessed something was wrong, because even with my sloth-turtle updates, I would have updated by now.**

**Because my health is important, and my stress is skyrocketing (not only from life, but not writing), I am going into a hiatus until April 15****th****, which by then… I hope I'm in a better place. Maybe without the added stress of "I-have-to-write-or-else" from these fanfics (and the sheer number of them going on at the same time) I'll be able to write chapters in advance… Or just write. I just haven't been able to. I know what I want to write, but every time I sit down… I can't. I'm sorry.**

**But this note is not going to be a total bust! I hate author's notes, so I'm going to attach a preview of the next chapter(s) so that you will leave satisfied. Or mad. Either way.**

_October 2012_

He leaned his elbows on the table, visibly trying to contain rage. The time stretched and ticked slowly, painfully on- which had the figure in front of the desk try not to shift from foot to foot.

"What?" One simple word, yet it was poison, dark in meaning, and despite everything, a shiver ran down the back of the dark grey hoodie. Not visible, of course, but a ghost of a shiver.

He gritted his teeth. "I…"

"I heard what you said!" He roared. "Where you seen?"

"Barely." The ghost nervously thumbed his fingernails, and every time they clicked, he flinched. Silence overtook the entire room, and the clump in the lackey's throat did not go down. He knew this would come. _If only I hadn't taunted her so much, maybe I wouldn't have been seen. But what's done is done. _

"What do you mean." Even though he couldn't see the boss's eyes, he could feel the hole they were stabbing through him. It wasn't a question- he had heard, perfectly clear, but he was giving the lackey a chance to correct himself. Each word was punctuated by a silent period, the rage coming to the lackey's heart, sinking his spirits, burning his insides, and causing his head to drop in shame. He had done wrong, and he knew it; yet the more fearful thing than making the boss angry was the punishments he gave. _That _made the unafraid snake shiver. He had never fucked up as bad as this time. He wasn't one to make mistakes. What would await him tomorrow? If he even _had _a tomorrow. Sure, he'd worked with the boss for six years, and had tried to become needed and irreplaceable, but the boss was a chess master. He had six back-up plans for each drawn up plan. He was good at understanding the enemy, did impeccably at capturing them; the only prey that had ever slipped away was that of his daughter.

"I might have- the lackey corrected himself. _I need to say this so it won't sound as bad as it is._ "I was barely seen."

"By whom?" The gears were already turning in the boss's head, even if he wasn't saying anything. _This, _the lackey knew, _was a game changer. _Before, the only person who knew of his existence, (outside the boss of course) was the daughter. And she… She couldn't tell. Because if she did, he'd kill everyone she loved. She was supposed to be _his. _She wasn't supposed to want to go outside. He had tried _so _hard to make her happy. And then she made a deal with the boss without even talking to him! And she ran. Oh, it did take a while to find her. But because she raved about how she loved to sing, _he had found her again. _Really, she wasn't trying to hide. But, the lackey corrected his thoughts, _she hadn't wanted to. She had wanted to get away. _And again, when he offered it to her, the house, the riches… She had smirked, and said…

"_I'll never go back to you. And I'll never return _there_." Spite was in her voice. "Not in this life, not in the next. If I were to give up that easily, what was the purpose of leaving that hellhole? What was the purpose of rebelling, what was the purpose of the deal? All I need to do is hold up my end of the bargain. I have chips in my hands still- did you know that? I still got a few _aces _up my sleeve."_

With a scowl, he remembered that memory. He didn't get it. What more could she want? He was a perfect guy. Her father was filthy rich- they had a family. What was so bad, so "wrong" about the Hinamori clan?

He shook his head to clear it- he had waited a full two seconds before answering the boss- and that was two seconds too long."Tsukiyomi." As soon as he said the name, he braced himself to hear the roar of the boss, he gritted his teeth. _Out of all the people to be seen by… It had to be the _boyfriend. _Really. It couldn't get much worse._

"Out of all the people!" The roar of the boss was ten times louder than he had expected. They had been so close this time. _So close. _He slammed on the desk, hands broad and hairy, and formed them into fists. The shadows still covered his face and body, and the only thing the lackey could see were the fists and a little of the wrists. He heard an aggressive and sudden _creak _as the boss began to pace in the shadows, the wheels doing overtime.

_What a mess. _The lackey thought to himself. But anger, abhorrence was eating the room in waves. He _had _to fix this… In any way possible. He found himself speaking, blubbering idiocies because the solution wouldn't come to him. "Only the tail of the-

"I hired you so you _wouldn't _be seen!" He had cut him off, but suddenly, he stopped, shadows still consuming him.

Because the lackey couldn't see that, but felt that his footsteps had stopped, he feared the worst. "There's only two months until the deadline. It doesn't matter." _He's going to reach over the shadows, he's going to…_

A sudden _creak _was heard. "Extend it."

_The boss had a plan. And this time, this time- it wouldn't fail. Watch out, Amu Hinamori- because this time you'll be begging to come back._


	16. Chapter 14: The Change-Up

**Look at me, I updated! A whole month after hiatus supposedly stopped, but I'm better now! I am a full-time resident of happy land! I finished AP/IB exams, I have a boyfriend, I'm going to Japan in the summer, and my grades are good… Yay.**

A/N: Okay, this is kind of just writing itself, I have my outline, but the characters just do whatever they want now. I just let them loose and they give me good story. Nothing is pointless, but… A lot of questions (and what seemed like inconsistencies) are sorted out and/or mentioned in this chapter.

There's a reason for everything that I write, and though what the Gray-Hoodie did in the present was bad, what he did in the past was much worse. Some of the things that have been done to Amu have not even been mentioned. I plan on mentioning them when the last piece of evidence comes in.

Shit will go down. Ikuto is getting close. And he'll get closer.

The gang officially knows _something _isn't right.

I wonder how long the main character can stay in a self-induced coma. 

_October 2012_

He leaned his elbows on the table, visibly trying to contain rage. The time stretched and ticked slowly, painfully on- which had the figure in front of the desk try not to shift from foot to foot.

"What?" One simple word, yet it was poison, dark in meaning, and despite everything, a shiver ran down the back of the dark grey hoodie. Not visible, of course, but a ghost of a shiver.

He gritted his teeth. "I…"

"I heard what you said!" He roared. "Where you seen?"

"Barely." The ghost nervously thumbed his fingernails, and every time they clicked, he flinched. Silence overtook the entire room, and the clump in the lackey's throat did not go down. He knew this would come. _If only I hadn't taunted her so much, maybe I wouldn't have been seen. But what's done is done. _

"What do you mean." Even though he couldn't see the boss's eyes, he could feel the hole they were stabbing through him. It wasn't a question- he had heard, perfectly clear, but he was giving the lackey a chance to correct himself. Each word was punctuated by a silent period, the rage coming to the lackey's heart, sinking his spirits, burning his insides, and causing his head to drop in shame. He had done wrong, and he knew it; yet the more fearful thing than making the boss angry was the punishments he gave. _That _made the unafraid snake shiver. He had never fucked up as bad as this time. He wasn't one to make mistakes. What would await him tomorrow? If he even _had _a tomorrow. Sure, he'd worked with the boss for six years, and had tried to become needed and irreplaceable, but the boss was a chess master. He had six back-up plans for each drawn up plan. He was good at understanding the enemy, did impeccably at capturing them; the only prey that had ever slipped away was that of his daughter.

I might have- the lackey corrected himself. _I need to say this so it won't sound as bad as it is._ "I was barely seen."

"By whom?" The gears were already turning in the boss's head, even if he wasn't saying anything. _This, _the lackey knew, _was a game changer. _Before, the only person who knew of his existence, (outside the boss of course) was the daughter. And she… She couldn't tell. Because if she did, he'd kill everyone she loved. She was supposed to be _his. _She wasn't supposed to want to go outside. He had tried _so _hard to make her happy. And then she made a deal with the boss without even talking to him! And she ran. Oh, it did take a while to find her. But because she raved about how she loved to sing, _he had found her again. _Really, she wasn't trying to hide. But, the lackey corrected his thoughts, _she hadn't wanted to. She had wanted to get away. _And again, when he offered it to her, the house, the riches… She had smirked, and said…

"_I'll never go back to you. And I'll never return _there_." Spite was in her voice. "Not in this life, not in the next. If I were to give up that easily, what was the purpose of leaving that hellhole? What was the purpose of rebelling, what was the purpose of the deal? All I need to do is hold up my end of the bargain. I have chips in my hands still- did you know that? I still got a few _aces _up my sleeve."_

With a scowl, he remembered that memory. He didn't get it. What more could she want? He was a perfect guy. Her father was filthy rich- they had a family. What was so bad, so "wrong" about the Hinamori clan?

He shook his head to clear it- he had waited a full two seconds before answering the boss- and that was two seconds too long."Tsukiyomi." As soon as he said the name, he braced himself to hear the roar of the boss, he gritted his teeth. _Out of all the people to be seen by… It had to be the _boyfriend. _Really. It couldn't get much worse._

"Out of all the people!" The roar of the boss was ten times louder than he had expected. They had been so close this time. _So close. _He slammed on the desk, hands broad and hairy, and formed them into fists. The shadows still covered his face and body, and the only thing the lackey could see were the fists and a little of the wrists. He heard an aggressive and sudden _creak _as the boss began to pace in the shadows, the wheels doing overtime.

_What a mess. _The lackey thought to himself. But anger, abhorrence was eating the room in waves. He _had _to fix this… In any way possible. He found himself speaking, blubbering idiocies because the solution wouldn't come to him. "Only the tail of the-

"I hired you so you _wouldn't _be seen!" He had cut him off, but suddenly, he stopped, shadows still consuming him.

Because the lackey couldn't see that, but felt that his footsteps had stopped, he feared the worst. "There's only two months until the deadline. It doesn't matter." _He's going to reach over the shadows, he's going to…_

A sudden _creak _was heard. "Extend it."

_The boss had a plan. And this time, this time- it wouldn't fail. Watch out, Amu Hinamori- because this time you'll be begging to come back._

"What?!" he quickly recovered from his thoughts as the words sunk in. "The conditions of the deal were that she stayed out of the public eye-"

"Since you _damaged _her," he paused, "She gets three months to recover. I don't want _any _suspicions that something sinister is going on. Tsukiyomi was close the last time. This time… This time, he won't breathe the smell of our plans." The boss's figure returned back to the chair, and an almost silent _creak _was heard. It was catching up. It was the sound of a tiger, planning to pounce on its unsuspecting, but paranoid prey. The limbs were stealthy, healthy lengths, like the lengths of his fingers with dark hair slashing over his hands, like teeth. He was probably smirking again, considering this his victory. This plan would be the last one, on this grand scale, that he would ever have to make. He wouldn't ever again have to hunt for the only thing that escaped from his fingertips, from the only _valuable _thing he had let go.

He had learned from the day that _she _left the house to always plan ahead. Because, it wasn't _her _that was valuable, oh no…

"There is to be no more accidents." His voice was once again cold, relentless. His fingers were intertwined with his other ones and his elbows were on the desk. He was still in the dark, however. The dark, the embrace of the dark was something he loved- something that didn't show…

"I told you, I _took _care of that!" The lackey had finally gotten his nerves back, or so it seemed. But the boss couldn't tolerate any more "_accidents._" They were hard to clean up, and they looked _awfully _convenient if _she _ever got a lawyer.

But no lawyer would be intelligent enough to see the spider-web thin connections between _her _and himself. And she wouldn't risk opening her mouth for fear of what would happen to her friends, to _the boyfriend. _

He wasn't stupid, but neither was _she. _She inherited one thing from him: their shared craftiness. And because of this shared trait, he was confused as to why she hadn't found _it _yet. There were two possibilities: she had found it, but was pretending that she hadn't- and, that she hadn't found it at all. But, no matter. As long as she is preoccupied, and the wipe was successful, she would never know. No one would. And he would become untouchable once again.

All of these thoughts took mere milliseconds to flash through the boss's mind. His lackey didn't think these "incidents" were a big deal. How wrong could he possibly be? "The _accident_ erased Nagi's memories of the past. _Conveniently._ And Ikuto's… A good number of them, survived. Except for the memories of _Rima." _He listed coldly, as one of his rings shined maliciously.

"It was necessary!" he recovered. "They were getting _so close_. That pixie girl was on the verge of discovering _everything."_ The lackey often did the dirty work of the boss, and it was done _well. _No one knew the bands' secrets- only Amu did. And she couldn't- wouldn't, open her mouth until everyone was safe. No member of the press could put it together. Though, the incidents were mere _months _apart, no one would connect Nadeshiko Fuji's medicine mishap (her assumed name in the hospital) with the car accident of Nagihiko Fujisaki and Ikuto Tsukiyomi.

"Rima's attempted suicide a year ago was a bit _forced _on your part, though." That was the tie together. The incidents were only two years old, but the suicide was the grain of rice that tipped the scales. Though they were unknown musicians at the time, because of their now superstardom, their past was often scrutinized by the press and if _anyone _caught wind that it was tampered with… People would start _digging. _And that was what Hinamori _didn't _want.

"I didn't- I mean, sir, I actually did not interfere with that." The lackey's eyes looked to the floor. What happened that day…It was painful to watch, to see. He didn't mean for it to affect someone like that. What he saw from her would never leave him in this life. Her eyes… They mirrored his own. They had lost everything. They were cold, lifeless. They had no one left.

The way she was sitting, the way she turned, and the way she fell…

He fought a shiver as he remembered, in slow motion, how he somehow found himself at the window, how she saw him, how her eyes widened on the way down… How she gripped crazily at air, how she fell… And fell…and then went _splat _on the concrete.

How he stopped. He _never _stopped.

Speechless.

Lifeless.

Almost like her.

How his instincts had gotten him out of there and informed a nurse.

_Why did he make himself seen there? What shook him so much that day? What had made him so _scared?

"What about Nadeshiko?" His boss hadn't relented yet. He was still angry about that one. She wasn't supposed to die, according to him. But her camera… Her camera was the thing he was most afraid of. How he could hide himself from anyone, even from Amu, the former gangster, and not get caught… But she… She had seen him. Her _camera had captured him. _And through his little "infatuation" (as the boss called it) with her didn't last… She had seen him. She was a loose end, even if the boss didn't know it. She sc- no, she hadn't scared him. That was pointless. Impossible. He didn't fear _anyone _but the boss.

She had to be taken care of. She _had to be dealt with._

_Right?_

He paled and swallowed. "I…" He really didn't know what to say.

"An overdose of morphine is a bit hard to cover up." His fingers drummed on the table, awaiting the answer: the one that his lackey had avoided telling him for two _years._

"Simple mistake." The words slipped out of his mouth, to cover his ass, but the words tasted foreign in his mouth. _It wasn't a simple mistake: _it was the one regret he had. The time he took to get the needle, to inject it… His very body had rebelled against him. It felt as if his very body was in a war with his mind, his evil versus his good. His body refused to cooperate- he couldn't grip the needle, he couldn't seem to breathe… He couldn't stop that knot in his heart that screamed to _stop. _He could have given her a chance, she didn't know much.

But he feared that she could see right through him.

"_Why are you so lonely?"_

The grip on his wrist…

How his mind pushed to inject, and her eyes as he finished the deed… Her ghost of a whisper and her hand dropping…

How he closed her eyes…

How he fought to remain breathing, to stay _alive. To not fall, because that was for the weak. _

_This had to be right. It had to be. Why else had he done it?_

That rainy night… That fateful night… _If only he had listened to his body, his instincts. _He doubted killing her, even now. It is- it _was _necessary.

_Nadeshiko._

Her name brought the shivers back, and that stomach knot, and his heart in his throat. If anyone was an innocent casualty… No. _No. _He couldn't think like that.

_He couldn't have feelings. _

To complete the job, he had to be a shell. He couldn't blink at blood, hiss at pain from blows to his torso, like the ones Amu had inflicted. He couldn't regret. That would make him human. No, to get her back, he'd have to be a machine. _A dark angel. Protecting her. _

_Protecting their future. _

_He wasn't supposed to think._

_Or feel._

_He wasn't human. He couldn't act like one. He couldn't act like he had _feelings.

"If caught-" The boss was speaking again, and his pinky twitched. _He's irritated, _the lackey's brain warned him. _Look at him. Pay attention. Don't think of That Woman._

"If I was caught, I wouldn't be here." His reply was automatic, robotic. It came into his ears right after the boss had stopped talking, probably pleasing the boss. Telling him that he was _listening. _

He had to get back on his game, or else he really couldn't continue today. It had gone from bad to worse, to completely and utterly shot to shit at the mention of _her _name.

"Amu… she still has the laptop?" He asked.

The lackey didn't get it. The boss had an obsession with Amu's laptop, the one thing he could never, truly, completely get his hands on. He didn't understand why the laptop was so important, but he shouldn't think. "Her laptop? Of course." _Answer quickly and concisely, just as you were taught._

"You need to recover that…" He trailed off, and the back of the chair was now facing the lackey.

"I erased a good deal of memory…An entire wipe was impossible due to time constraints." He answered, sadistically remembering as most of her precious files were deleted with the little blue bar.

"What was left?" His voice had a bit of interest, but not much. The lackey couldn't tell if he was hiding interest, or the man before him was bored. _Bad things happened when he was bored._

"To be unnoticeable? A couple of video files... Passwords copied, usernames, IP address hacked and tracked… Pictures, insignificant details." He answered, _only the necessary things_. His posture improved as he did something right. It had been awhile since he hadn't fucked up. Ever since Rima's _accident, _the boss kept a close eye on him.

Now demon-princess superstar and Amu were hurt. His posture again deflated as he realized those were _two_ incidents in _one _day. Two years ago, he would not have dared been _that _cocky. He was getting sloppy. He had to clean himself up, to piece himself back together so he could complete yet another day's watch.

"Video files?" The boss's chair rolled around, and he could tell the boss was facing him again. His interest was _definitely _piqued. Especially after discussing Nadeshiko, who the boss knew the lackey didn't like to talk about. Nadeshiko had been making a _documentary _about the girls.

"Some stupid documentary footage." He plainly said, and then hurriedly continued, before the boss could say anything, "Not even useful, or hurtful to us. Just your daughter gallivanting through Tokyo." It wasn't that he didn't delete it because it was useless… But because _Nadeshiko _had been clearly in it.

He couldn't, not after what he did, he couldn't _delete _Nadeshiko.

Not out of his mind, not out of Amu's videos.

He could hear a _harrumph _out of the man, bringing him back to reality."Anything else?" He was no longer interested. _Good, _his brain whispered, though he felt like a betrayer. _He shouldn't think that way of the boss. Not after what he had promised and done for him…_

_Oh god, he had to answer._

"There was one file… It was no longer available, it seemed like she deleted it. I couldn't find it in the trash or any threads connecting the data to anything else... It was just…" He tried to continue, but the boss cut him off.

"I don't like what I don't know." His words were fast-acting poison, cynical, pessimistic poison. One that was so powerful it sunk into your very bone marrow and shut your body down, one system at a time. Painfully.

Making you ashamed of everything you were and are.

"Sir, I understand-"

He was cut off, again, harsher (if that was even remotely possible), "Are they encrypted?"

"It-it doesn't exist anywhere." His answer was pure truth, and that was what scared him. He did something that wasn't quite right, and wasn't quite wrong. At least, when he was wrong, he knew he'd get punished. With this… He didn't know. And _that _was worst out of all the things done to him.

"Suspicious. What was it called?" His hands were again intertwined, his elbows at the table, and the subtle _creak _that he was leaning forward.

"Utau's and Amu's one year anniversary." He replied, automatic. He had to defend himself against the boss. This was a dog-eat-dog world as the boss said. You had to defend yourself versus everything. You against the world. No allies.

Alone.

"One year of… Success?" The boss seemed slightly puzzled, but it didn't seem quite right to the lackey. He knew it wasn't _Amu's _or demon-princess superstar's style to do that. But the boss, he didn't know. He didn't know his own _child. _

But frankly, that didn't matter. If he played along, he would have time to investigate this file. He would have time to _fix _this stupid, complicated mess.

"Yes." _So it seems. But I'll find the answer. _

"Leave it be. If it's gone, I don't expect you to find it." The chair was turned again, back towards the lackey. It was his signal to leave.

He could give someone else the job of watching Amu as he investigated. There had to be a backup- somewhere she had saved it.

Because Amu was crafty.

"Oh, before you leave," the boss turned around again, and the Gray Hoodie shut the door.

"Give her this." The boss handed the lackey an envelope, unmarked and sealed shut with an evil lick.

"Yes sir." The lackey didn't know what was in it, but he knew how to deliver it. He was trained, after all.

And he was gone, and the boss was left to think, to plan, the game of chess with his daughter.

Because, this _was _the last game of course.

_October 2012_

_3:45 AM_

It had been awhile since Kukai had returned to Utau's room, and was probably sleeping right now.

She was released little after they finished the video, and Ikuto was left numb as Kukai dropped his hand on his shoulder before he left. He didn't fully _feel _what Ikuto was feeling, but he was fully sympathizing. _That has to suck, _his eyes told Ikuto. But he couldn't feel any more.

Ikuto understood.

Kukai couldn't take, couldn't worry for anyone but Utau right now.

Ikuto knew he'd do the same, so he didn't judge.

It was a miracle that he was somehow allowed to stay with her (probably his really scary I'll-kill-you-if-you-even-think-of-separating-her- from-me glare), that despite what- _who _they both were, the nurses kept the professionalism, which also meant that the doctors and staff hadn't told _any _reporters… That they were safe and in the clear for awhile.

Come morning, he'd have _a lot _of questions to answer. But he didn't want to leave her.

Not that she was _so close. _

Her breath, her scent, her _presence _so close for what felt like- what _was- _so long: he missed her. More than he thought.

More than he could ever imagine.

He hadn't had contact with her in so long, and yet he didn't want the circumstances to be like this. He wanted her to be healthy, happy, _looking _at him. Awake. Alive.

He still had unanswered questions.

_Who were the Hinamori Clan?_

_Why is Amu so important?_

_Why is _he _so insistent on _her?

They had finished the videos about six hours ago, and yet Ikuto was still seething with a _vengeance. _

He knew who _he_ was now, but he couldn't believe it. It was… unreal. Impossible. Improbable.

_Straight out of left field._

But he'd finish this. _He'd kill_ _him. _It was the only-

"Ikuto." Her breath, her shaky breath, the one that told him she was _scared _came out of her mouth, interrupting his thoughts. "No. _No." _

At first, he thought she was reading his mind. But then, her hand was trembling. Her monitor began to _beep beep beep _at a heightened rhythm.

Something told him this wasn't a regular nightmare. His brain, his breath, hitched. He knew something was haunting her. He _had _to be there for her this time. He had to show her that he was okay. That he was _here. _Here, with her. Here to help, here to just _be here._

"Shh… Amu, I'm here." But his voice wouldn't reach her. She seemed to be reliving, or dreaming of something horrible. Her legs were flailing, and she seemed to scream, to plead, in a strained whisper.

"_Ikuto. No. No! I can't lose you! Oh my god, Nagi! Ikuto, Nagi… Someone, answer me! Please, oh god…" _Her voice was a pleaded whisper, so low that even Ikuto strained to hear her voice. It was scratchy, laced with grief… Something that he hadn't heard, not in a very long time.

But that might have been one of his dreams, because, as far as he remembered… He couldn't recall seeing her so _unhinged. _

In his mind's eye, he could see her, crawling to their bodies and screaming, reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy and the JFK assassination. He could see a crumbling, red Ferrari, a dented pole… Noises, yet so quiet. He could feel warm, yet so cold: the blood, rushing in small rivers down, down, and tainting the asphalt of the street and the gravel of the sidewalk.

"Amu…" He didn't want to know what she was dreaming about, or what she was _reliving._ He was probably reliving something different, but having her here made him feel safe. He hoped she could feel the same way- he wanted her to feel safe, to feel him, that maybe… Just maybe, his mere presence could help her.

"_Alive. Please. You need to be alive. I need you. Don't leave me. Don't leave me here! Don't leave me here, all alone! Nagi, you too! Rima needs you! Someone! Someone, please! Call 1-1-9!"* _Her voice was pleading, and he could see the tears sprint out of her eyes, how her body turned cold… She was afraid. She was the definition of _panicked. _

"What…" He couldn't ask. He shut his mouth, because she couldn't answer. At this point, he didn't know _what _to ask. How to phrase it. What he wanted to know.

"_This is all your fault! This is your fault!" _At first, he thought it was directed at him, but her hand gripped his tighter. She had never spoken to him like that. Her voice was full of malice, malice laced with hatred. He wasn't aware such a voice could come out of her. She had been pushed to her limit. How much had she endured?

"_Leave them! Leave Ikuto and Nagi _alone!" Her voice was protective, and he could practically imagine her cradling his head in her arms protectively.

Obviously, she must have been talking to _him. _He couldn't bear to even think about the Grey Hoodie, and his betrayal. It made him sick.

Hearing her like this made him sick.

A pause, as if a gap- where she listened, and _he _talked.

"_No! They weren't close! They weren't close to anything! Oh god, please… You can't… You can't! Please, don't kill them!" _Her voice rose an octave higher than her normal tone, yet still in a whisper, but even more anguished, if even possible. Hearing that was like hearing her scream, hearing her suffer in the most painful way possible.

What was she reliving? The questions whispered into his head with urgency, matching her voice. He squeezed her hand, wanting to wake her, but curious. Could this be an answer she couldn't say while awake? _No, _he thought. _No, I don't want to listen to this. This… This is suffering, on the highest level. There is no describing her pain, her love, her anguish. I need to help her._

"_No!" _Her voice was scratchy, so full of indescribable anguish that he knew he needed to wake her up _now. _This was starting to get agonizingly painful for the both of them. Her body seemed to make itself smaller, her hand was squeezing at his like a lifeline. In some sort of consciousness, she knew he was there, but she was still trapped. Trapped in a horrible, awful place where she was all alone, and no one could help. 

"Amu…Please, wake up." He shook her lightly, but she didn't stop mumbling, almost crazily: as if bargaining for the most important thing in the world.

"_I'll make a deal with you! …December! December 2012! December, I'll go back! I swear! Just… don't. Oh god, don't! Don't kill them!" _She rushed through the words like a hungry child rushed through a candy bar. She was bargaining for them- with her freedom. He could imagine what _he _would say: _an eye for an eye, nothing is free. A deal must benefit both, you see._

"Amu-

"_No. No! Not Ikuto. Oh god. Oh god, please. I love him. I love him. Don't! Don't… Don't! P-please…" _Her voice was panicked, and the heart monitor beeped at an even higher rhythm. He couldn't watch this- it was too painful. Watching her relive something so _painful _was painful to him. Was it a sort of empathetic pain? Why did his heart lurch so much for her? He loved her- and all he wanted was for her to be happy.

After so much of being alone, after suffering with lover after lover before her- cold and different… She had given him peace: a place to be himself, a place to love and be loved. He could tell her anything, and he thought it was true for her too. Now that he thought about it, though, there were many inconsistencies. He wished to forever be able to understand her better: he could guess her mood and understand why- yet this was totally above his head. He'd never dealt with this. She didn't give him the chance, but he didn't blame her. She had wanted to protect him, too. That brought a big, sentimental feeling into his chest. He cared for her, she cared him. But now, now he _needed _her to be awake. This was enough suffering. These two years were suffering enough for the both of them.

"Please," his voice was begging, and he never begged. He needed her to wake up. He couldn't listen any more. He wasn't glad she thought of him this way, that she'd bargain anything for him. This was painful. He wished she would protect herself _more, _and him less.

"_I'll do anything." _Jesus, she was crazy. She needed to draw the line, she needed to protect herself. He had protected her from a lot: but she had protected him from much more. He needed her to stop. He needed her to protect herself for a bit, to _not _think about him. Yes, it was selfish, but he _needed _that. She had already done so much. It didn't matter if he died, but she needed to be unchained from this mess. He'd rather them do it together, but if his death was imminent, he'd take some of those assholes down as well.

A pause, _he _was responding again.

"No," he whispered, his voice falling out of his mouth, out of his control. "No, please don't." He didn't want this. He didn't want to know what happened, what transpired here. He didn't want her to relive it like this- this was too strong a memory to dream- to relive, every second she closed her eyes.

"_No. Not in front of Ikuto." _What had he said? What was something she couldn't do in front of him? She had thrown her pride away, she had thrown _all _of it away, so what is it that she refused to do?

Another pause, and her grip tightened around his hand.

"_Not even- okay! Okay! Okay. I-I'll... do it. It's just a kiss, right?" _

A kiss. Rage coursed through his veins, because a kiss meant so much more than she realized. It was a statement, a "_this is mine." He _didn't deserve to have her. She wasn't his. Sure, she wasn't a piece of property, and he wasn't the jealous type (maybe, yeah, okay, he was)…. _He _couldn't have her. Ever.

"_I'll humiliate myself for them. I'll sink lower to protect them. They won't know. They'll never know. To protect them, I'll do anything."_

He heard her words, and internally shivered. That was her fatal flaw: she put others above herself. She couldn't continue like this, or else she'd die from the pure stress of keeping secrets, of facing _everything _by herself.

After her statement, her body and mind seemed to quiet, and her heart monitor went back to the steady _beep, beep, beep _of sleep. Her feet stilled, her hand lost most of its grasp in his hand, and her brow seemed to decompress.

His thumb went delicately over her hand, as if to soothe her.

The door opened, and a slim, tired nurse sulked in to check her vitals- not like she'd be awake to be bothered. Ikuto didn't like hospitals, though, so he tensed up when she rolled in the blood pressure/temperature machine.

On the handle of the blood pressure device was a blue envelope: as if given to the nurse and was thrown haphazardly on the machine and the woman didn't think too much of it. Whatever, right? It was a little blue envelope, not addressed to anyone. Just give it to the patient, the guy said: yeah, whatever.

But Ikuto eyed it with suspicion. He wasn't sure how much _he _knew that Ikuto knew… But the way it was delivered caused the hairs on his neck to stand. _This definitely couldn't be good._

The nurse yawned, and handed it over to him, not knowing anything about the situation and too tired to feel his alertness or the coldness that surrounded the room.

His thumb scraped open the letter gingerly and yet with venom, and in it was a slashed, almost cursive script on crisp white paper.

_You've been given three months._

_We'll be watching._

As soon as he read it, he crumpled the paper with his fist, and looked at the nurse who was taking her vitals, eying her with suspicion. As he took in her too-tired appearance, and the time she came in… 15 minutes past three, he knew she wasn't that good of a nurse. He knew she wasn't good enough to be _watching. _

The lady wrapped the blood-pressure wrap around Amu's limp arm, and he stared down at his right fist.

_The letter. _

_The time limit._

He'd be sure to tell Amu.

Hopefully, she'd be awake soon. _Hopefully, please._

The nurse finished, and Ikuto coldly thanked her. She lumbered out of the room, and his posture stiffened. He could _feel _someone watching him, now that he knew someone was _always _watching.

"I know you're there," he hissed. "Come out, because I want to talk to you."

And he could have sworn he heard the ceiling creak, as if someone was about to jump.

*119 is the number for the ambulance in Japan

**Wooo-hooo! I updated! Please review! **

**Shugo Chara Season 4: **Right now, I can't answer that. Please read on to find out. I do know who he is, and most of the people who read this already have an idea. There isn't much reason to hide it anymore, except I want the reader to discover who he is when Amu first did.

**Black Wolfe: **Yup. Sorry I made you wait a bit longer though.

**Yamiduke13: **Hope this didn't disappoint.

Thanks for your reviews!


	17. Chapter 15: Asleep, Lost, and Forgetful

**Hey guys. I'm still alive. It's just last year was horrible, and this is my senior year in high school. I'm already accepted into the college of my choice, and I hosted exchange students in October. I guess what I'm trying to say is that life got in the way… And my plot is just being taken over by everybody. I don't know when any other chapters to any other stories are going to come out… They will when they do. Sorry for being a sloth-turtle with my updates. **

**But this chapter is long and it talks about a lot of things. I mean, that couple has had a hard time in this story, but I love them so much. It's about time to stop focusing on Amu and her self-induced coma and Ikuto in his angst. The two MCs have so much angst it's almost hard to keep writing. Almost. **

**Then, there's Tadase. Some people will be disappointed, but that story is complicated as well. There's a reason he's here now, and all of that will come later. He also seems terribly out of the loop, and he is.**

**Finally, there's some Rimahiko (Rima and Nagi) stuff. The couple has had a horrible time in this story, and if you were paying attention last chapter, a lot of things are explained. But here are some memory-issues that need to be covered.**

**This story is far from over, and there are a lot of twists and turns to go.**

**I hope you can be patient and wait for the next installment. **

**The ending isn't even close. And this story might have a sequel. MIGHT. **

_Chapter 15: Asleep, Lost, and Forgetful_

_October 2, 2012_

_3:55 AM_

"I know you're there," he hissed. "Come out, because I want to talk to you."

And he could have sworn he heard the ceiling creak, as if someone was about to jump.

He waited-expecting- something, anything to happen. Someone to approach him. Someone to attack him.

But nobody did.

Nobody came down, not even a murmur, nothing.

Nothing happened.

It almost seemed like a cosmic joke. The one time he felt like he could take on anything, there was no one to take on. He could have _sworn _he heard _something. _

Now, the adrenaline was coursing through his veins, and the quiet room seemed like hostile, enemy territory. Every sound could be someone coming up from behind, someone ready to kill. Every creak, every beep, ever rustle, was something that could kill him: even if it was an old hospital, even if the foundation was shifty. Every quiet noise could be someone with a gun waiting behind him- just like in the stupid horror movies.

Except now, it wasn't stupid. The threat was very, very real.

Neither the rush of blood in his ears or his clammy hands deterred his brain from racing: and he ignored the fact that he was becoming paranoid in an insane sort of way. The only word his brain supplied, the only logic, was the word _protect._

_Protect._

_Protect._

_Protect._

_Protect._

Everything else was instinct, every other thing was animal. He was no longer a human rockstar, obsessed with himself: that was a persona. Now, he was Ikuto- a lion on the prowl, ready to hurt _anything _that was threatening what he considered important.

He was turning around, not once taking Amu's bed out of his peripheral vision, trying to figure out if what he was hearing was paranoia or actual sounds. He held in his curses, because _damn it, _he was so fucking angry right now.

He wanted to do something, anything, useful. He wanted to take his anger out on _somebody _because damn it he was angry. How dare anyone hurt the people he considered important, after all this time. After all this time, after he learned to become something _more; _after he became more than a cornered, fucked up alley cat that scared everyone away.

"_An angry alley cat. That's what you are. You want people to care for you, but you're so damn scared of someone hurting you that you don't let anyone in. You're just like the rain, slipping away any time someone wants to get close." _He could still see her, a combination of every woman he had ever been with. Good figure, black dress, hair that seemed to be every color… He didn't remember her face, and he vaguely remembered her physical appearance because it was so long ago… But he remembered her voice. A biting, icy, snarky voice of a woman who he would never forget.

God, fuck… He couldn't do this right now. He had to stay alert.

But she wouldn't let it go: just like she hadn't that night. He remembered this part well, that after sex she had talked to him, and this came out. She was picking up her clothes as she said it, the words that would stay with him in his nightmares.

"_You make it to be some sort of trauma, you know. Dad went missing, mom went crazy… She got married into the glorified Yakuza, you protected a sister who just left you to deal with the consequences of her actions, and you got mixed up with the wrong people, did some bad things… Your stepdad's still trying to find you… You got some scars along the way, so what?"_

She began slipping on her dress, looking straight at him. Usually, most women would turn away, as if he hadn't seen under the dress anyway. But this woman, this nameless woman, stared at him. And though he didn't remember her eyes, he could feel them still on his form.

"_It's more than that." _He had tried to defend himself then, but he was as cryptic as ever with his defense. She didn't understand, and no one ever would. Protecting was in his veins, and no one understood that better than Amu. At the time, he thought no one would.

"_Then what is it that chains you? Your loneliness? The fact that no one 'gets you?' Are we fifteen, Ikuto?"_ She, of course, was mocking him, which gave him little reason to defend himself. Usually, he would have let the woman think whatever she wanted, but she was hitting too close to home.

Before he could stop himself, it spilled out. _"I still have to protect my sister, and my mother. No matter what it takes: no matter what it does to my sanity, my health, or if it takes my life. I will protect them from the things I can't fix. From the sins I committed. I will protect them from that family. I will protect them, just like my father would have."_

Of course, she didn't believe him. He was often so cold, so indirect, that most thought he would say anything to keep them away. In fact, this is where his previous actions bit him in the ass.

He remembered seeing it from her posture. He could even tell what she was thinking, how she was disappointed that he didn't say what was "_really_"troubling him. _"You're fucking self-destructive, that's what you are. If you're going to say something, at least don't fucking lie."_

"_I…" _He shouldn't have felt the need to explain himself. But he had found that he couldn't let it go. She was looking for her purse now, no longer looking at him. As if she was throwing him away.

"_Look, you're like a fucking soap opera. I can't deal with this shit. Listen to me, and listen well Ikuto: the only person you'll ever, __**ever **__find peace with… Is someone who is abnormally more fucked up than you." _She had finally found it, and was now at the door. As she said that last word, she was out. Ikuto was left naked in his own bed, feeling more exposed than ever possible.

And he never knew until this moment about how right she was.

His blood seemed to chill after recalling such an event, which sobered him up. He couldn't… He wouldn't bow to paranoia. That's what the Grey Hoodie would want. He needed to stay calm. He needed to support Amu in her time of need.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _She was calling to him, even if she wasn't awake. It was as always- she calmed him down, she made him get with the program. No matter if she was not completely with him or not.

He needed to get his shit together. He had too much pride to have a mental breakdown when Amu needed him, and in a public place.

He sat again in the chair, taking her hand in his. He made little circles in it, trying to find comfort in her once more.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _Up and down went the heart monitor, showing that even though she wasn't awake, she was alive. She didn't look it though: all the tubes and machines attached to her, her skin so white… It looked like she had died: or was barely holding on. Her amber eyes were closed, but not peaceful. She seemed to be in pain even in her dreams, a side Ikuto wished he wasn't used to seeing now. She was cold, too cold to be alive, yet the machine couldn't lie. Down there, somewhere in her unconsciousness, she was fighting.

For him. For their friends. For her life on the outside.

He knew what she had been thinking, but wished he didn't. He knew her too well. She was stalling.

His hand gripped hers, and even though his rockstar repertoire was used to the wee-hours of the morning, he felt spent. Spent, yet wired.  
>Wanting to go to sleep, but he couldn't.<br>He couldn't leave her alone, not after that dream. She needed him. She never spoke in her sleep: but looking back on it, she didn't sleep much when they were together. She was usually comfortable, and the last to fall asleep.  
>The first to wake up, as well.<br>He should have pieced it together then- but he was so happy, he couldn't think straight.

And look where that landed him.

He remembered that he was usually the last to fall asleep with his other, er, partners (he couldn't really call them that either) ... But with her, it was different. He was comfortable, and he could tell she was too.  
>But, for some reason, she couldn't.<br>He wondered why.  
>Was it the product of always looking out for yourself, always looking over your shoulder, unable to do what you wanted, when you wanted? Was it some sort of signal he was supposed to get? Was it just habit? Did nightmares, like today, plague her so often she didn't sleep? Was she afraid to? Did she feel unprotected? Was there something he could have done? Everything ran races in his head as he tried not to rip his hair out.<p>

_It isn't your fault._ He remembered her say, when he casually popped why she didn't go to sleep before him. _It's just... I don't know. I feel safe here, in your arms, and I guess I'm just not used to that. I'm not used to being… Loved this way. My other partners... Well. It was get in, get out. Cuddling was out of question. I like this, and I want to remember it... Burn it into my memory forever. I know I'll probably get used to it... But. I want to remember this. I don't want to miss it, take it for granted, you know what I mean?_

_Of course,_ he had replied. _I understand_.

But he hadn't. Not really. He didn't get her clue: that she wouldn't be here to get used to this, that she wouldn't be here to enjoy it forever. She had a time limit, and she wasn't going to waste a few precious hours sleeping instead of ingraining it into her soul.  
>Now, too late, he had understood. He couldn't, wouldn't get to tell her. He wouldn't get to crawl into bed with her again. He wouldn't get to tease her, wrap his arms around her. Not after the deadline.<p>

Damn the Hinamori clan. Damn them all to hell.

_I'm wondering if you'll ever get to see this._ Her voice was like warmth, dripping into him and his soul. _Even if you'll never see this, I think of it as an unsent love letter. Something that I have to say, yet have no courage to give._ Tears pricked at her eyes as he remembered the video.  
><em>Utau probably cried her eyes out when she "talked" (here she held up air quotes) with Kukai. I promised I would not do that, that you deserve better than seeing me cry... But. I just... I just can't hold them back.<em> Here she began to cry.  
><em>I'm sorry, Ikuto. I never planned... I never planned to find love. It wasn't in the cards for me; at least that's what I thought. I never thought I'd find you. I never thought I would find what we have. I just wanted to escape my previous life and chase my dreams. I wanted to be free. I wanted to live... I was focused on my music, but somewhere in between I was blessed with great friends, a good job, and you. I... I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, I know it isn't, but I want you to know that. I want you to know that I love you, and you...<em>  
>She paused, nervously biting her lip and wiping the tears, trying to appear strong.<br>_You deserve someone else. Not me. What's so good about me anyway? You often told me, but I knew there was something else... Something you didn't say. I always wonder about that._ The words echoed again through his head, her voice, that part of her long speech invading the deep corners of his mind... Caressing his spirit and cuddling against his very soul.

_You saved me,_ he thought. _That's_ _what I didn't have the courage to say_.  
>He was stupid, and he knew it. He should have told her, each and every day- he should have thanked her for loving him, for loving the man who was just like the rain... Who never held on, who wandered like an alley cat looking for a warm place to stay. <em>Thank you for making me the man I am now,<em> he had wanted to say. _Thank you for spoiling me, thank you for letting me be who I wanted. Without your endless support, I would be nothing like I am now, but instead... I would be living a lonely life as I had been. I need you to help me be an even better man. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, improving, arguing with you, kissing you, killing the spiders, making you pick up the towels, watching crappy TV... I want it all. I want you to marry me. So will you? Will you marry me?_

He had thought he had time. He thought he would tell her when he proposed: take her to their spot under the Sakura trees, play the piece he wrote for her, propose marriage in a very smooth way... Sweep her off her feet and confess his feelings and boom! Happily ever after!

At least that was how it was supposed to be.

Now, after her confession, he put the pieces together.  
>Their meetings. The performances at the strip club. The school she attended. The disappearances. Suu. Their climb. Their first time. The sleeping (or lack thereof) . The "never minds." The awkward biting of the lip. The unfinished sentences. Their songs. Their last. The disappearance.<br>The break-up. The year in between. Somewhere, Nadeshiko. The 2011 concert. The accident.  
>The deal they had. The calls. Kukai's frequent disappearances. The interviews at the same time.<br>The songs. Now.

Everything finally came together, all the things he couldn't name, but knew. God.  
>It was heartbreaking. It was... He couldn't name it, but it was painful. He had his head in his hands by now, and he didn't realize he was crying until the tears made dark spots in his jeans.<br>He felt numb.  
>How could he have been so stupid?! He prided himself in knowing how she felt, and yet he missed the greatest part of her life!<br>He just couldn't believe that he missed it.

He was an idiot. 

-x-Still don't know how to do a line break-x-

_October 2, 2012_

_8:00 AM_

"Now, it's an honor having you on 105.5 Tokyo Life, Tadase." The voice was characteristic of a radio personality- big, entertaining, and with a touch of big-headedness. It was a small room, with the man, Go Hiroshima on one side, and the rockstar (or rather, Popstar) on the other. Go was pretty young, early 30's maybe, but not nearly as young as the Popstar was. He was actually, for someone who had a great voice, very attractive. His eyes were a chocolate brown, and his black, shiny hair was swept kindly a tad to the right. His clothes, though, weren't a suit- but instead a purple button-down and some jeans. Go Hiroshima was a ladies' man, and he certainly had that drawl that had them screaming for him- but he took his work very seriously.

The blonde-haired Popstar smiled a very kingly smile, one that might have been misconstrued as easygoing. It was overloaded with sunshine, and if one would look closely, one could see the bags under his eyes due to jetlag. His clothes were a bit wrinkled, but otherwise he was spic-and-span. He had a white button-down and black slacks, and what definitely qualified as dress shoes. He always dressed like this, and didn't do anything less.

"It's an honor to be here, Go." He didn't want to be here, because he had just gotten into Tokyo, he really wanted to sleep… And catch up with Amu.

"Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Tadase, it's rumored that you're working on a new album. Are these rumors true?" His voice peaked up a bit, as this was Tadase's first interview since he got off his plane at 10 PM Tokyo time. The paparazzi had followed him back to his apartment, asking for an interview, but he had said "No comment," and went up and never came down until this interview this morning at 8 AM.

"Go, it is. After a two-year break in America catching up in my studies, I decided to start working on another album." He seemed genuinely happy here, as if he was doing what he loved.

"Wow, Tadase. That's quite a lot on your plate." Of course it was. Studying and recording were two time-consuming tasks, which made him a little more sleep-deprived than he was used to being.

"Are you again working with Saaya?" Tadase almost tuned him out (though that would be very rude), because he hadn't gotten enough sleep. But a persona was a persona, and he had to be polite and happy to be here even though he really just wanted to be in bed.

"Yes I am." He was glad to finally release the news, because people have been pestering him about it for _years. _It was getting annoying, especially when he had to hold himself back from screaming in their face to leave him alone when he was studying. Especially when he did much of the work in secret: which was hard to do if you were constantly followed around.

"When do you plan to release the album?" Of course, this guy wouldn't give him an inch. It was the dreaded question, one he hadn't answered in two long years. Surprisingly, his popularity hadn't dropped that much since "Moves like Jagger" with Saaya. Go was leaning forward in his chair, smirk on his face, because Tadase had owed him a favor. He cashed in, of course- getting the first interview with the Popstar right when he came back.

"December 2012." He said the month with a bit of distaste, though Go didn't catch on to that. There were many reasons he hated December… Especially when "it" was so _soon._

"That's awfully soon, isn't it?" Of course it was- it was only two months away: less, even. Usually stars couldn't produce a platinum album in two months- let alone a good one. Good thing he had already started recording.

"Yes, but I've been working with the idea for awhile now." There it was, the secret. He left it vague on purpose- he could have started it two years ago, before he went. Or while he was abroad. Who knew? Only he and a select few did.

Surprisingly, Go let it slide."Tadase, you know that Black Kat and the Pink Attitude are releasing an album around that time? It's going to be hard to compete with the top two bands in Japan." There was the other hard statement; something he knew would be an uphill battle. Though the Popstar loved music, it wasn't in his plans to become #3 in Japan. He was chasing after Amu, and his success was actually a happy accident.

But he hadn't been in Japan in two years: and Amu didn't answer her phone (it seemed like she changed numbers) and he often watched her on TV. He knew how busy she was, but last he heard she was still going out with Ikuto before she exploded.

However, what was truly puzzling was that she never said anything about him, and he didn't say anything about her. Even when either was asked if they loved someone else, neither gave the interviewer an inch.

Puzzling, indeed.

Realizing Go had asked him a question, he replied, "Oh yes, of course. But I have faith that my fans will love our new songs. Catching the number one spot isn't what I'm after- I'm just after inspiring my fans and people who are not yet my fans."

Tadase wasn't aware of the many fangirls across Tokyo that "squee-d" at that tidbit.

"So Tadase…" Go leaned back, savoring the pause. Then, he inched forward. "My listeners want to know if anyone has caught your eye yet."

Well, _he _hadn't exactly been 100% honest either. He didn't even pause, but looked Go straight in the eyes and replied, "Sadly, Go… No. I guess I'm too romantic and I haven't felt that connection with anyone yet."

Go smirked at this, "You hear that ladies? Tadase is still looking for the love of his life! Any girl could be very, very lucky!"

Tadase wished he didn't have to do this for another hour.

-x-x Can someone tell me how to do a line break?-x

_Tokyo Hotel _

_Suite 1145_

_8:45 AM_

It had been hours, but it felt like lifetimes. And while Yaya had instantly passed out once her head hit the pillow, Rima was still awake, sitting on the bed. She had long given up trying to sleep, because she couldn't sleep, and felt restless. She didn't know what was going on, or why she couldn't close her eyes.

She didn't want to go back to the hospital, not yet. Seeing Amu, her best friend, so hurt… It was impossible to bear. She needed to give that stupid black cat more time.

She wouldn't want to see Utau either. She hadn't seen Kukai, her on-again-off-again boyfriend in awhile. She respected both of the girls… And yet, those were just excuses.

Something… Something was bothering her. She couldn't place _why _that black cat was so familiar, nor why that cross-dresser made her feel…

Well, she couldn't place it. It was confusing- like, she felt like she needed to tease him, but she hated it when he was sad. She wanted to help him, but at the same time make things harder for him. She wanted to cuddle him so hard, yet she wanted to pull on his stupid long hair. His scent sent her back to a familiar nothingness, but everything seemed obscure.

But she couldn't close her eyes.

But she couldn't sleep, and that itself was an oddity. She usually could sleep anywhere, at any time… She _never _had trouble sleeping.

But tonight, or last night, rather… Every time she closed her eyes images popped to the surface of her brain. Images she didn't know existed, images that seemed too real to be dreams. Sometimes, it was just sensations or thoughts, and sometimes… Sometimes it was a pain somewhere in her heart that was so deep rooted she feared it.

She didn't want to go there, and yet it was as if a dam of memories, pains, sensations, and thoughts had been released after a long period of blockage.

She wanted to know what they were: often, she faced blanks in her memories… And when she asked Amu, Amu would often stiffen up, and answer the bare minimum. Sometimes, she'd get a sad smile on her face, and most times Rima reined in the questions. She didn't want to make Amu feel bad, especially since she would ask her to explain jokes and stuff.

It would remind Amu that she didn't remember the good times, before the accident of falling out of a tree. It made Amu sad that she forgot a lot of things, so most times she wouldn't ask.

And finally, after two years, the memories were popping to the surface of her mind- late, of course. Now, she didn't want these painful feelings.

Now, she didn't want to look at what her subconscious was showing her, because of what it made her feel.

There was a pain in her heart that made her want relief- something deep rooted, something that made her want to throw herself over the edge…

A memory popped to the surface.

_She was sitting on a windowsill, looking down the four floors, looking at the asphalt. How amazing it would be for it to stop._

_The feeling of heaviness, the feeling of lonesomeness, the feeling of uselessness… It seemed as if she wasn't good at anything. _

_Splat. Just like that._

_So simple. And it wouldn't be painful._

The memory stopped, as if it had been burst, like a little bubble. Another, however, viciously followed the next, harming her heart.

He_ couldn't remember her. The person who she had given her heart, who had saved her from her façade…Who helped her learn from herself, who would drag her this way and that, who had an obsession with dancing…_

Another.

_She mourned for Nadeshiko- and her d-death... A car, ramming into her, across the street from the recording studio._

Another.

_She couldn't help Utau, who was suffering. She… Kukai was swamped with recovering himself from his motorcycle accident, and helping Utau who still wasn't responding and was in a heavy state of shock. Utau's screams of agony were still echoing in her mind even though she hadn't been hurt at all. _

_Kukai, her friend, hadn't slept. He hadn't eaten, though they had forced him. He was right next to Utau, who wouldn't let anyone touch her but him. Should anyone else brush her, she would retreat in a fit of soul-wrenching screams, only to be calmed by his arms._

_She couldn't help him. It was too much. Utau had been out of commission, Kukai was restless at her side, Amu was closed off, Ikuto wasn't responding… Amu wouldn't look at anyone. She was taking it the hardest, holding Ikuto's hand, and singing a song… It was so soft, almost like breathing, but her tune was heartwarming yet so solemn at the same time that it was impossible to ignore. "Soon you'll be… Home with me." The lines were repeated, over and over, like a chant to herself more than him. _

Another.

_Yaya was grieving with her parents- her baby brother, only ten, had been shot in the middle of the street in Kyoto on a trip… And they still hadn't caught the murderer._

Another.

_Nagi was hurt…_

Rima blinked. Nagi? Like, Nagihiko?

No, it couldn't be. She hadn't known him.

_She grabbed a fistful of his long, purple hair and began pulling it. His head jerked back, and she began screaming so loud it echoed in the large ballroom._

"_NAGIHIKO! YOU SWORE TO GOD AND BACK THAT YOU WOULD CALL ME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, AND WHEN I COME HERE, YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO A GIRL I DON'T EVEN KNOW, AND IS SHE MY RIVAL? NAGIHIKO, YOU BETTER ANSWER ME THIS SECOND OR-_

_Nagi managed to spin her around, tip her like they were dancing, and kiss her. "Rima, you've got nothing to worry about. She's staying here for awhile, and she's not your rival. She's a friend." _

_The voice was so familiar. It matched with… But Amu said…_

"_Is there anyone I should know about? I mean, I remember you, Utau, and Yaya…" She was in the bed, head wrapped, and body broken. It was amazing that she was still alive, and her body actually hadn't suffered that much._

_Apparently, she had fallen on a branch first, breaking some of her momentum._

_There was a pause, as if she was thinking. But in the end, she had answered… Almost hesitantly, "No."_

She had… Her best friend…

She hadn't realized she was pacing the room. Amu wouldn't… Couldn't lie. Not to her. Not to Rima Mashiro. She didn't. Rima was making things up again.

"_Hey Amu… I remembered something." It was early in her recovery, and the doctors still went into whisper discussions though she was still _right _there. It made her feel irritated, so she ignored them, focusing on Amu. _

"_Yeah? What is it?" Amu of course, had been excited. Would she have her friend back? Would she remember things like meeting her?... Like meeting Nagi? The deal's deadline was coming soon, and everyone was so close. She would have to separate from Ikuto and Kukai… and even Nagi… Her first friends. If Rima remembered Nagi, she'd have to tell her that she would have to leave them. And then Rima would fight until she knew. And then… They would all be dead, Amu's worst nightmare. She wanted her to remember everything… But at the same time, she didn't. She was a horrible friend._

"_I remember… It seems so stupid. There's this guy, performing on stage… With a guitar. He's singing about falling in love, on a rather crappy stage. In front of him, are chairs and a microwave cake. In one of the chairs, you're sitting on. The other… Someone. Someone I know, but I can't see his face. I know him… His purple-colored hair and all. I remember… He liked to dance." She gesticulated, miming the guitar, and the imaginary stage in front of her._

_Amu laughed uncomfortably, which Rima first took as a sign that this wasn't right: when in fact, that had been an actual memory, and it was Amu's nervousness showing through._

"_Rima, you're making things up again."_

But… Why? Why had Amu lied like she did? (If she even lied at all.) She didn't have anything to gain from lying to her.

Whispers of dialogue came into her head.

"_Something's wrong." Her own voice, in something of a fight- she could picture it now. In a recording studio, right? It had been raining that fateful night._

"_It's nothing, Rima." Of course, there she had been lying. It was her stupid pride. Rima had started this after seeing a scar on Amu's torso. One that was new- it was still angry and red. All of her other scars were a pink lemonade- almost skin color, but not really. Amu winced, even, when she was dancing. She never winced- she was always graceful. But Amu was protective of her body, so she would never let such a scar happen, much less talk about it. But Rima was pushing her anyway._

"_There's something strange going on here." The boys were coming to meet them, in their brand new red Ferrari, and the rain had slowly come down, until it was a downpour. Of course Rima had to start a fight: she wanted to know who had done that to her best friend, and what his name was so she could carve him up into little pieces._

Another memory.

_Splat. A feeling of nothingness, only hard concrete. Maybe the crack of many bones. It was a miracle she was still alive._

Another.

_Crash. A red Ferrari, crumpled and smashed, into a light post, and the other side a hit-and-run by a nearby Toyota. Amu was screaming, running, before she had a chance to blink. Ikuto's head was bleeding, but as soon as she saw a clump of purple hair she was going just as fast._

She had to get out of here. She had to leave. These thoughts, dreams, memories, whatever… They were too strong. Too emotionally taxing. She had to get out of this room right now.

She didn't know whether sensations made up from the dark corners of her mind were dreams… Or were real… If any of them were.

She flung open the hotel room in a quiet panic, and decided it would be best if she went down into the common room.

Just to clear her head.

Usually, Rima Mashiro was careful about going out in public- but right now, she wasn't Rima Mashiro, member of the Pink Attitude. Right now, she wasn't cold.

Right now, she felt painfully raw.

She probably looked like hell, and therefore had no resemblance to her alter ego, who was usually polished and cold, someone who had no trouble calling her "slaves."

Right now, as she closed the door, trying to be quiet in her panic, she just looked like a lost little girl.

As she went down the carpeted hallway in her long-sleeved shirt and pajama pants with fuzzy socks, she didn't look like a starlet.

With her messy hair and baggy eyes, she looked like a sleepless insomniac of a little girl.

As she walked down the hall to the elevator, she saw a familiar head of purple hair and the button already pushed.

**Tada.**

**Now to the responses: **

**BlackWolfe: As always, thanks for reviewing and thanks for your support.**

**Hihi: Kat, Thanks for the support! Hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reviewing**

**KL: I'm not stopping, I'm just totally busy. I cranked out this chapter, and it's pretty long… So hopefully I can finally update regularly. Thanks for reviewing!**

**HckrGrl19: You actually inspired me to complete this chapter despite how horrible it was to get through it. Thanks for reviewing!**


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